Author Topic: “An Afterlife Chat with J.C.”  (Read 718 times)

Offline Solomon Zorn (OP)

“An Afterlife Chat with J.C.”
« on: April 17, 2015, 01:42:17 PM »
Chapter One

One day, in the afterlife, I met a guy. We shared a table in a little diner. He told me I could call him, "J.C." His friend stood nearby, holding a sign that read, “The End is Near.”

In an attempt to be friendly, I asked J.C. if he was preaching Love today.

He answered, “Yes, I am preaching Love today!”

I said, “Peace be with you.” 

He responded, “Have you heard the Truth?.”

I said, “Let me stop you right there, J.C., don't try to corrupt this nice discussion of morality that we're having, with some kind of mythology.” 

He looked puzzled for a moment, like it had been quite some time, since anybody questioned him. “Who do you think that I am?” he asked.

I answered, “I don't know.” Then I countered, “Who do you think that you are?”

That shut him up. And we sat at the table in quiet.
« Last Edit: April 17, 2015, 01:50:01 PM by Solomon Zorn »
If God Exists, Why Does He Pretend Not to Exist?
Poetry and Proverbs of the Uneducated Hick

http://www.solomonzorn.com

Offline Solomon Zorn (OP)

Re: “An Afterlife Chat with J.C.”
« Reply #1 on: April 17, 2015, 01:43:08 PM »
Chapter Two

So I broke the silence, “Healed any vaginal-emissions lately?”

He looked a little embarrassed  as he answered, “No.”

I asked him, “If I have faith will my dick get bigger?”

“No,” he said.

Then I got bold and said, “Tell me, J.C., when was the last time you got some?”

He said, “NOYB.”

I said, “Fair enough. Can you help me get some?”

He said, “How averse are you to paying for it?”

“J.C.!” I exclaimed, “You surprise me!”

“Just be careful to use a good quality rubber,” he advised. “STD's have an afterlife too, you know.”

“What about saving myself for marriage?” I asked.

Are you?” he responded.

“No.” I said

“It's just as well,” he said. “Afterlife women are too smart to make vows, especially when there's no more death to part us.”
« Last Edit: April 17, 2015, 01:50:25 PM by Solomon Zorn »
If God Exists, Why Does He Pretend Not to Exist?
Poetry and Proverbs of the Uneducated Hick

http://www.solomonzorn.com

Re: “An Afterlife Chat with J.C.”
« Reply #2 on: April 17, 2015, 03:40:35 PM »
Make the diner a "Waffle House".  I'll have the Texas Cheesesteak Melt with hash browns smothered covered and peppered and a large coke.
"How long will we be
 Waiting, for your modern messiah
 To take away all the hatred
 That darkens the light in your eye"
  -Disturbed, Liberate

Offline Solomon Zorn (OP)

Re: “An Afterlife Chat with J.C.”
« Reply #3 on: April 17, 2015, 04:22:50 PM »
Make the diner a "Waffle House".  I'll have the Texas Cheesesteak Melt with hash browns smothered covered and peppered and a large coke.
You are welcome to order whatever you want at the diner, I would imagine, but the Coke they gave me, looked like a medium. I think it was technically a large, but either way, it really hit the spot.
« Last Edit: April 17, 2015, 04:45:32 PM by Solomon Zorn »
If God Exists, Why Does He Pretend Not to Exist?
Poetry and Proverbs of the Uneducated Hick

http://www.solomonzorn.com

Offline Mr.Obvious

Re: “An Afterlife Chat with J.C.”
« Reply #4 on: April 19, 2015, 02:15:29 AM »
Kind of confused here, sorry :s
E = Mc²

In the end, we are all standing in the dark,
trying to figure out why we are here.
But let us not choose one direction
without proof of where it is headed.

Check your pocket for matches
so we can observe and learn together
as fast friends and relative idiots.

Offline Solomon Zorn (OP)

Re: “An Afterlife Chat with J.C.”
« Reply #5 on: April 19, 2015, 04:28:03 AM »
Kind of confused here, sorry :s
Thank you for saying so. I figure everybody is. The first chapter is based on a dream , I had, in which a guy in a diner seemed to think he was Jesus. I just changed the dream, to "the afterlife," and took it from there.

I'm envisioning J.C. as a much older and more mature soul, who regrets some of his shenanigans (like faith-healing), now that he's seen the reality of the afterlife. I thought maybe i could get into the ways that his words have been twisted. My aim is to be funny, and thought provoking. It's just a start, but I was anxious to share, and I thought it might work well as installments, like a serial.
If God Exists, Why Does He Pretend Not to Exist?
Poetry and Proverbs of the Uneducated Hick

http://www.solomonzorn.com

Offline Absurd Atheist

Re: “An Afterlife Chat with J.C.”
« Reply #6 on: March 13, 2017, 06:36:21 PM »
It has to be pretty boring up there, in the afterlife that is, when the only people present are REALLY, REALLY good Christians. I mean, you're spending an eternity with these people, from across the last two thousand years, and God only knows which Christians made it into heaven after all.



"This post reminds me, just a little, of my own excursion into...I don't know what to call it...holy satire, maybe?

Mine is called "An Afterlife Chat with J.C." I thought I might add to it over time, but I haven't had the inspiration.

If you like it, leave a reply, and revive the thread:
http://atheistforums.com/index.php?topic=7554.0" - Solomon Zorn
"It's easier to imagine the death of the world then it is to imagine the death of capitalism." Henry Giroux

"You are two people, still separated by an ocean of time."
The Dictionary of Obscure Shadows: Dès Vu

Re: “An Afterlife Chat with J.C.”
« Reply #7 on: March 14, 2017, 08:28:34 PM »
God Not Found
"It is not God that is worshipped but the group or authority that claims to speak in His name. Sin becomes disobedience to authority not violation of integrity."
Radhakrishnan, Sir Sarvepalli