Author Topic: The Poetry Thread  (Read 73569 times)

Online Shiranu

Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #45 on: November 22, 2013, 06:45:34 PM »
I'm going to give it a shot in a bit, maybe post it later tonight.

Offline Solomon Zorn

Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #46 on: November 22, 2013, 10:16:52 PM »
Quote from: "mykcob4"
Fishing Village
by Myke

For out on a distance toils the men,
Pulling the nets each day.
They venture beyond sight as day begins,
Nothing but sea in their way.

They commune their thoughts,
They share their dreams,
They feel each others pain.

And seagulls mark their wake,
Cascading closer they come.
Marking the boats take,
Hoping that they share in some.

And they commune their thoughts,
And share their dreams,
And feel each others pain.

On the shore the women wait,
For men and boats to come home.
They hope all are safe,
And they'll not go home alone.

And they commune their thoughts,
And share their dreams,
And feel each others pain.

Everyday is the same,
Of the men, the birds, and women.
A labor of love and need,
Of lives among them.

Communing their thoughts,
Sharing their dreams,
And feeling their pain.

The village sleeps for now,
Rest sorely needed.
By light they'll arise,
And their task will be heeded.

They'll commune again,
They'll share again,
And agian feel each others pain.

For the village lives to be,
An interwoven community.
A place knowing each,
And each knowing,

Their thoughts,
Their dreams,
And their pain.


Great poem, Myke. Do you live near a fishing village?
If God Exists, Why Does He Pretend Not to Exist?
Poetry and Proverbs of the Uneducated Hick

http://www.solomonzorn.com

Online Shiranu

Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #47 on: November 27, 2013, 08:40:14 AM »
I want to apologize by saying I have never done a poem before. And I don't think I mean that in like, "...since I was a kid." ... I honestly think I have never done a poem before in my life. So keep that in mind when you see how bad this attempt is and if you have any advice... I am happy to hear it :P.

---------

An ocean before
The countless drops are as one
Waves crash and recede
For the ocean we can see
Is but fragment of one thing

We are as the sand,
Billions line the ocean's edge
Thought of as detached
Yet just as much part of ocean
As the wave in the water

What is the ocean
Without sand? It exists yet
It is without shape
So too life brings shape to the
Universe and defines it

Yet the seas before
Contains and transport the sand
Waves crash and recede
The sand exists as ocean
Then returns to alike shores

As ocean and sand
So is man and universe
Thought of as detached
Man defines the universe
As sand defines the border

Waves crash and recede
Man exists, then he does not
The sand is returned.

-----------

So, how was it? I wanted to expand more on man's attitude that he is somehow something separate but I just couldn't think of a way to incorporate it :.

Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #48 on: November 30, 2013, 06:08:04 PM »
Quote from: "Solomon Zorn"
This one I wrote yesterday morning:


[center:2avxftuj]God Pretends
Solomon Zorn

God saw the worker
Who fell in the chipper
All his thoughts are
With the family

God hears the prayers
Of children with cancer
He just lacks
A medical degree

God has such love
For the faithful devoted
Just to have them near
He crashed their bus

God stayed his hand
As a young heart exploded
All part of his plan
You have to trust

God knew beforehand
The planes' destinations
On the day
The twin towers would fall

God can't be bothered
With terror prevention
When busy with the outcomes
Of  football

God made the world
So worship him for it
Only wicked people
Will resist

God wrote a book
And you dare not ignore it
God only pretends
Not to exist[/center:2avxftuj]

AWESOME!
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers." Obama
Poetry By Brian37 Like my poetry on Facebook Under BrianJames Rational Poet and also at twitter under Brianrrs37

Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #49 on: November 30, 2013, 06:19:52 PM »
Quote from: "Shiranu"
I want to apologize by saying I have never done a poem before. And I don't think I mean that in like, "...since I was a kid." ... I honestly think I have never done a poem before in my life. So keep that in mind when you see how bad this attempt is and if you have any advice... I am happy to hear it :P.

---------

An ocean before
The countless drops are as one
Waves crash and recede
For the ocean we can see
Is but fragment of one thing

We are as the sand,
Billions line the ocean's edge
Thought of as detached
Yet just as much part of ocean
As the wave in the water

What is the ocean
Without sand? It exists yet
It is without shape
So too life brings shape to the
Universe and defines it

Yet the seas before
Contains and transport the sand
Waves crash and recede
The sand exists as ocean
Then returns to alike shores

As ocean and sand
So is man and universe
Thought of as detached
Man defines the universe
As sand defines the border

Waves crash and recede
Man exists, then he does not
The sand is returned.

-----------

So, how was it? I wanted to expand more on man's attitude that he is somehow something separate but I just couldn't think of a way to incorporate it :.

I like the message, but you didn't follow protocol with your meter or rhyme. YOU SHOULD BE SHOT AT DAWN! (Actually poking fun at my critics who hate my style and as a result miss the message)

We are star stuff, but although everything is made of atoms, and we do interact with other atoms being made up of atoms, the realty is that we are NOT connected with everything, The quark on the other side of the universe will never have an affect on us.

Your poem reflects a very local reality on an island, but the sand is not the ocean and the ocean is not the sand, they merely exchange atoms in the interaction.

It is more a flow than a connection.

Still much more in tune with nature than superstition. I do like it.
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers." Obama
Poetry By Brian37 Like my poetry on Facebook Under BrianJames Rational Poet and also at twitter under Brianrrs37

Offline Solomon Zorn

Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #50 on: December 06, 2013, 12:29:35 PM »
I like Shiranu's poem a lot. I don't think he meant we are connected with the entire universe, just that we are a part of nature, and not a separate "special" creation.
If God Exists, Why Does He Pretend Not to Exist?
Poetry and Proverbs of the Uneducated Hick

http://www.solomonzorn.com

Offline Solomon Zorn

Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #51 on: December 06, 2013, 12:32:15 PM »
I was writing this poem early this morning, and I heard about Nelson Mandela passing. He was on my mind as the poem progressed. (No rhyme and meter this time)



Inconsolable
Solomon Zorn


No sadness more
Profound
No absence more
Permanent

A human
Cannot be replaced
A heart in mourning
Will accept no comfort

Promises of heavenly reunion
Offer soothing
For a pain
That cannot be soothed

Death is tragic
Death is final
Death is painful
For those who survive

But survive they will
And build on the
Legacy
Of the one who died

The same fire
Which burned in that soul
Continues
In those who were touched

Eventually time heals
Survivors move on
But not today
Today we are inconsolable
« Last Edit: September 27, 2014, 11:41:14 AM by Solomon Zorn »
If God Exists, Why Does He Pretend Not to Exist?
Poetry and Proverbs of the Uneducated Hick

http://www.solomonzorn.com

Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #52 on: December 06, 2013, 01:48:46 PM »
Quote from: "Solomon Zorn"
I was writing this poem early this morning, and I heard about Nelson Mandela passing. He was on my mind as the poem progressed. (No rhyme and meter this time)



[center:3sz770on]Inconsolable
Solomon Zorn


No sadness more
Profound
No absence more
Permanent

A human
Cannot be replaced
A heart in mourning
Will accept no comfort

Promises of heavenly reunion
Offer soothing
For a pain
That cannot be soothed

Death is tragic
Death is final
Death is painful
For those who survive

But survive they will
And build on the
Legacy
Of the one who died

The same fire
Which burned in that soul
Continues
In those who were touched

Eventually time heals
Survivors move on
With or without their faith
But today we are inconsolable[/center:3sz770on]
Thanx Zorn. I needed that to deal with the great mans passing.

Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #53 on: December 12, 2013, 09:03:49 PM »
Christianity Unveiled (Ode to the father of modern atheism), By Brian37

Epicurus
And Lucretius
Skeptical
Long ago

The dark night
The cloak of theism
For  centuries
Buried inquiry

Deism arose
In response
To human cruelty
As a compromise to allow for a god

But amongst these enlightened ones
A refusal to do so
Gave birth
To modern atheism

Authorities as expected
Upon his public denial
The frightened ones
Ceased his books upon publishing

10 years elapse
After his death
Books with pseudonyms
Publicly burned

Paul Heinrich Dietrich
Took blasphemy
Further than anyone
Dared to go

"If the ignorance of nature
Gave birth to such a variety of gods,
The knowledge of this nature
Is calculated to destroy them"

*The bluntness of his quill
Put men in their infancy of thought
Which they were infatuated with
Viewing them as enslaved fanatics*

Their vanity
Based on concoctions
The needless distraction
Of mere superstition
(end)

Second to last  stanza is a paraphrase of this quote "It is thus superstition infatuates man from his infancy, fills him with vanity, and enslaves him with fanaticism."

Quotes sourced from this link.

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Baron_d%27Holbach#Sourced

Books quoted and paraphrased are

"Le Christianisme devoile(Christianity Unveiled)
"The System of Nature"
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers." Obama
Poetry By Brian37 Like my poetry on Facebook Under BrianJames Rational Poet and also at twitter under Brianrrs37

Online Shiranu

Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #54 on: December 12, 2013, 10:01:43 PM »
Quote
We are star stuff, but although everything is made of atoms, and we do interact with other atoms being made up of atoms, the realty is that we are NOT connected with everything, The quark on the other side of the universe will never have an affect on us.

Your poem reflects a very local reality on an island, but the sand is not the ocean and the ocean is not the sand, they merely exchange atoms in the interaction.

To address this, even though the quark is on the other side of the universe and will never effect us, it is still a part of the same universe as us; just as a fish in Hawai'i, nor it's offspring, may ever have an interaction with a fish in Alaska, they are still part of the same ocean.

The sand/ocean is suppose to be humanity/universe; we become a part of the ocean (life), and before that/after that we are returned to the beach (death). What I meant, and I guess I didn't convey well, is that the sand (our life) is just as much a part of the ocean as the fish, the pollution or what ever else finds itself in the waters (everything in the universe). We like to think ourselves as something beyond the universe, something semi-divine and special, but really while we are alive we are just as much a part of the universe as anything else.

Quote
I like Shiranu's poem a lot. I don't think he meant we are connected with the entire universe, just that we are a part of nature, and not a separate "special" creation.

This.

Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #55 on: December 13, 2013, 02:11:32 AM »
Random Survivor
by Myke

Cast thine eyes outward past
The sun will ner last
And see 'for the light doth die
That which ist upon us

A storm she rises soon
And well it cometh boon
To tear and rip the nye
A struggle us to last

Dare we not take it on
But bear it till it gone
Then we shall hear the cry
Of which our fate be cast

Old and young die or live
Fates not ours to give
Words not ever heard
Things not ours for the askin'

Luck will have its way
Carin' not what we say
Choose and not choosin"
Whats left to be baskin'

Offline aitm

Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #56 on: December 13, 2013, 07:05:31 AM »
A humans desire to live is exceeded only by their willingness to die for another. Even god cannot equal this magnificent sacrifice. No god has the right to judge them.-first tenant of the Panotheust

Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #57 on: December 13, 2013, 07:56:59 AM »
Hide And Go Seek, By Brian37

An insidious game
Of Peekaboo
The child counts
And looks through rooms

Elaborate prose
In ancient books
All do claim
He is somewhere

They look and look
And insist
He is real
And point to their books

They count to ten
Then to 100
Then to 1,000
And where is he

The empty mansion
Of fictional rooms
He hides somewhere
Through limitless excuse

I refuse with vigor
To play this game
There is nothing to find
No one is up there
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers." Obama
Poetry By Brian37 Like my poetry on Facebook Under BrianJames Rational Poet and also at twitter under Brianrrs37

Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #58 on: December 13, 2013, 08:53:05 PM »
Christianity Unveiled (Ode to the father of modern atheism), By Brian37

Epicurus
And Lucretius
Skeptical
Long ago

The dark night
The cloak of theism
For  centuries
Buried inquiry

Deism arose
In response
To human cruelty
As a compromise to allow for a god

But amongst these enlightened ones
A refusal to do so
Gave birth
To modern atheism

Authorities as expected
Upon his public denial
The frightened ones
Ceased his books upon publishing

10 years elapse
After his death
Books with pseudonyms
Publicly burned

Paul Heinrich Dietrich
Took blasphemy
Further than anyone
Dared to go

"If the ignorance of nature
Gave birth to such a variety of gods,
The knowledge of this nature
Is calculated to destroy them"

*The bluntness of his quill
Put men in their infancy of thought
Which they were infatuated with
Viewing them as enslaved fanatics*

Their vanity
Based on concoctions
The needless distraction
Of mere superstition
(end)

Second to last  stanza is a paraphrase of this quote "It is thus superstition infatuates man from his infancy, fills him with vanity, and enslaves him with fanaticism."

Quotes sourced from this link.

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Baron_d%27Holbach#Sourced

Books quoted and paraphrased are

"Le Christianisme devoile(Christianity Unveiled)

"The System of Nature"
"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers." Obama
Poetry By Brian37 Like my poetry on Facebook Under BrianJames Rational Poet and also at twitter under Brianrrs37

Online Shiranu

Re: The Poetry Thread
« Reply #59 on: January 07, 2014, 05:25:09 AM »
And so he sat, that man in his cage; the cage he built with his own hands, with his own blood and sweat. It was a lovely cage, the grandest cage he had ever seen... but yet a cage is a cage, no matter how grand it may seem. And beneath its luster and beneath shine stood a rotten man with a rotten mind.

This was a cage of many years work; a cage that could not be fractured or broke. In this cage he lived, ate and worked. Once and awhile he would glance out to see what he may see, but never did he leave; This cage was a world that bonged only to he. What he saw outside tore at his heart; violence, hatred and all things of the sort. Men killing men for trivial reasons, women and children left starving for no logical reasons.

This cage would be his home in all of its grandeur, no one from the outside could ever corrupt it. And so in this cage he began to grow jaded; came to hate the world and all of its faces. And then inside the man became what he had despised; in his heart violence and hatred for all he had seen. If man could not love one another, what love did they deserve from him? They had chosen their fates as he had chosen his.

Annnnnd I'm too intoxicated to finish.
« Last Edit: January 07, 2014, 05:45:36 AM by Shiranu »