Turkish Imam Suspended After Pieces Of Cucumber Found In His Rectum

[stromboli]

http://www.hurriyetdailynews.com/turkish-imam-suspended-after-pieces-of-cucumber-found-in-his-rectum.aspx?pageID=238&nID=100894&NewsCatID=339

An imam from a Central Anatolian province has been suspended from duty after he being hospitalized with "pieces of cucumber" in his rectum.

The 39-year-old imam working in Kayseri applied to the emergency room of a hospital in the early morning hours of June 23 with severe abdominal pain and bleeding.

The doctors reportedly took pieces of cucumber out of his rectum, and the official diagnosis in the incident was “bleeding in the anus and rectum and foreign object in the rectum.”

The imam was discharged on June 24 after treatment.

After the story made it to the local press, an official investigation has been launched by the local branch of the Religious Affairs Directorate, or Diyanet, of which the imam was an employee.

He was suspended immediately.

The Chamber of Doctors, meanwhile, slammed the hospital officials for leaking information about a patient.

“The imam applied to a hospital for a medical condition, it is a crime to have leaked the information of a patient,” said Ardıl Bayram Şahin, a member of the Istanbul Chamber of Doctors’ Human Rights Commission.

“We do not know what the official investigation is about, but suspension is unacceptable,” he added.

“Such rights violations may prevent people with various sexual practices, especially those who are public employees, from seeking medical assistance,” Şahin warned.

People apparently like to shove stuff up their, uh, lower, uh, you know. Once when working for Provo City we got a call to rescue a lady that had been masturbating with a coke bottle (this is the old days; plastic bottles hadn't been invented yet) I wasn't on the call, but apparently her husband wasn't "man enough" for the job. Hey, shit happens.

Personally I think if you want to shove a cucumber up your ass, have at it. Might suggest a little lube next time......

A little something to start your morning.

[Baruch]

Thanks but no thanks ;-)

[SGOS]

The article focuses on medical ethics, but I want to know what happens to the Imam.  Will suicide bombers still blow themselves up for a leader who will be known forever as "that Imam who puts cucumbers up his ass?"  Who knows?  Perhaps he will start a whole new religion, a cucumber cult.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Any word on how the cucumber is doing?

People apparently like to shove stuff up their, uh, lower, uh, you know. Once when working for Provo City we got a call to rescue a lady that had been masturbating with a coke bottle (this is the old days; plastic bottles hadn't been invented yet) I wasn't on the call, but apparently her husband wasn't "man enough" for the job. Hey, shit happens.

"Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the medics."

Now, who's up for the salad bar for lunch?

[stromboli]

"Hey Imam is that a pickle in your pants or are you just happy to see me" just took on a new meaning.  Maybe he was smuggling vegetables. We'll never know.

[Youssuf Ramadan]

If he wanted to impress the ladies, he shoulda stuck it down the front of his pants, not the back. Silly imam!!   

[aitm]

Frankly, and at the risk of severe ridicule, I have a hard time understanding how a cucumber breaks apart into pieces unless perhaps it was aided by another object slamming it even more so……I mean really cucumbers seem to be pretty "stiff" objects, how the hell do they simply break apart into pieces without some pretty heavy ….er……beating? Really I don't have a clue but I have examined a cucumber and they are petty stout little veggies….


….so did I ask too much?

[The Skeletal Atheist]

Frankly, and at the risk of severe ridicule, I have a hard time understanding how a cucumber breaks apart into pieces unless perhaps it was aided by another object slamming it even more so……I mean really cucumbers seem to be pretty "stiff" objects, how the hell do they simply break apart into pieces without some pretty heavy ….er……beating? Really I don't have a clue but I have examined a cucumber and they are petty stout little veggies….


….so did I ask too much?

Well, we've always said the religious were a tight ass bunch.

[Flanker1Six]

There's actually a perfectly valid medical reason for this.  Haven't you ever seen pics of women at beauty spas; with cucumber slices on their eyes?  It helps reduce age induced wrinkles.   Logically......................if they're good for wrinkle reduction.....................they'd work on hemmorhoids too.   


And.......................on a more business orientated note.........................I'm seeing an untapped market for Adult Stores in Anatolia!   

[Atheon]

Well, it's not like he had a dick in there, so it should be OK, right?

[drunkenshoe]

Well, we've always said the religious were a tight ass bunch.

I swear I exploded laughing.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Are we sure this wasn't Mark Ruffalo's penis?

[stromboli]

Are we sure this wasn't Mark Ruffalo's penis?

What I didn't see was the explanation by the Imam as to how it got there. Based on what I've heard out of the mouths of Imams, it would amount to a tirade against the satanic western culture. As in violated by evil American salad.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

What I didn't see was the explanation by the Imam as to how it got there. Based on what I've heard out of the mouths of Imams, it would amount to a tirade against the satanic western culture. As in violated by evil American salad.

Or there was a rent-boy who refused to wear a burqa?

Hey, makes as much sense as anything like to come out of the imam.

[stromboli]

Or there was a rent-boy who refused to wear a burqa?

Hey, makes as much sense as anything like to come out of the imam.

What did come out came out, apparently, in chunks.