Peer pressure

[musicharmony87]

Hello! I'm musicharmony87!

I'm not gonna give my whole testimony because it would be long and mixed up. But because of peer pressure I've always gone back to God. This pressure comes from my dad. I'm afraid if I told him I didn't believe that he would throw me out and not help me anymore. So for now I'm pretending to be a Christian. I've strayed away in the past but because of peer pressure always gone back. Well not anymore! I wish I could tell my dad the whole truth but I'm scared of being shunned. And that's why Christianity is poison. The none believers are shunned! I thought Christians were not supposed to judge. I guess not. I write a lot about Christianity and how much I don't like it. I feel like I'm in denial of my new found beliefs because of how I was raised. Did anyone go through that? Did you get to the acceptance part? The only thing my parents know is that I'm struggling in believing in God. So I keep it at that. I haven't told them I don't believe. I hate going to church. I'd rather sleep in. I don't usually go anyway. But my dad likes to guilt trip me sometimes. I'm 33 yro!!!! Let me do what I want!!! Ugh! I'm hopefully moving out next year so I'll have more freedom!!!

[Solomon Zorn]

Welcome.

A lot of atheists go through similar family conflicts when they admit they no longer believe. My advice is that when you do, you reassure your Dad that you still love him, and that you still embrace the Golden rule (do unto others as you would have them do to you). I don't know if that will help, but it can't hurt. Chances are he will be fearful for your eternal soul, so try not to misunderstand him.

Are you a man, or a woman, by the way? Men and women have different relationships with their fathers, as a rule. Either way, you'll find many sympathetic individuals here. I hope you decide to stay awhile.

[musicharmony87]

I'm a girl. I don't think I'll ever tell him though. At least not right now.

[aitm]

welcome to the forum. In time you will know everything there is to know as we are the smartest peeple in the hole wirld.

[josephpalazzo]

You're 33 yrs old?!? WTF is wrong with you. Get TFO of there.

[Mike Cl]

Welcome.  And what Joe said, but not so strong.  As long as you are under his roof you will have to go along with your dad's agenda.  Or pretend to.  And you are doing that.  Sounds like you are pretty good at it tho.  When you are able to leave and be on your own, then you can breath easier.  You can still think what you want; and while your dad believes in his sick fantasy, you can actually think inside your head without him knowing.  I'm trying to drive home the point that you are now thinking and reasoning--your dad does neither.  So, when you have to go to church, think of all the reasons you disagree with what is being said there.  At least it will give you some way to let off a little mental steam.  And then when you get to your computer you can share some of what you thought of that particular message.  That may help in giving you a positive outlet.  In any case, I do wish you luck.

[Baruch]

Yes every human being needs a certain amount of personal autonomy.  You have found the internal part ... but getting the external part is hard work, particularly if you don't live by yourself.  Because of handicap, my daughter might never leave home (she is with her mom).  Fortunately they are alike in a lot of ways.  Good luck on getting your external autonomy.  Getting to a healthy relationship with your parents, can take you well past 30 years old i am afraid, even if you are living on your own.

[musicharmony87]

You're 33 yrs old?!? WTF is wrong with you. Get TFO of there.

Thanks to subsidized housing I'll be able to live my dream of having my own place! I plan to move out next year. I have to pay off my credit cards. (Thanks ex bf!) Can you believe my dad wants me to tithe? Ugh! I'm not tithing to God or any church because I just don't believe. I hated tithing all of growing up. I could've used that money elsewhere.

But yes I have to pretend and go along with my dad and step mom. (My mom passed away in 2011 to a heart attack. Did God answer my prayer? No he allowed her to die. He broke his promise so I don't believe. He didn't answer any of my other prayers and is still not answering today. My parents pray for me when my back hurts and it still hurts. I pulled it at a previous job) anyway Christianity is just sick imo.

Thanks for the warm welcome! I'm glad I have a place to rant and rave. :)

[Baruch]

We all suffer from trouble as we go thru life.  I am sorry for yours as well.  Yes ... a lot of people don't understand prayer, and so when it doesn't work as advertised (that is a clue that one doesn't understand) then of course greater disappointment results than would have happened otherwise.  You are not the first person to have a problem with G-d's actions or inactions.

[Solomon Zorn]

Sorry Baruch, but it seems to me that she understands prayer perfectly: communication with the non-existent God of all creation. Jesus promised, “He who asks shall receive, he who seeks shall find, to him who knocks the door will be opened,” Any child can figure out that his promise isn't true. But believers make excuses for him, because we are far more faithful to him, than he is to us.

I have seen a cousin who was the most devoted lifelong Christian I have ever known, and played piano in the worship service every Sunday, die of ovarian cancer, despite what must have been thousands of prayers offered by hundreds of believers.

Then I see the backup quarterback for my favorite team apparently joining in a prayer circle after the game, Thursday, and I think, “What a fucking moron. God couldn't be bothered with intervening to stop the school shooting this week, but he was all over your fucking football game."

[Munch]

Then I see the backup quarterback for my favorite team apparently joining in a prayer circle after the game, Thursday, and I think, “What a fucking moron. God couldn't be bothered with intervening to stop the school shooting this week, but he was all over your fucking football game."

I'm certain southpark made an episode similar to that, where a dying cancer kid wants Stan to win the game for his team, which might inspire the cancer kid to get better, but it ended up Stan and his team lost (mostly because the team he was playing against were full grown adults) and at the end while the other teams cheering their victory, the cancer kid dies, saying "no hope..". Southparks way of giving the middle finger to all these movies that play that narrative of "if  I pray for my football team to win, god will make it so, and I'll get better" movies.

Its funny how it works with god worshipers in first world countries, where they think because they are devoted to this entity so much, that all good things will happen to them by praying for it to happen (kind of like how Cartman prays for 1 million dollars) while these same yuppies ignore other parts of the world that if god was real, wouldn't praying for them to have fresh water and medication have some results if he was real?
It never happens of course, and even if some of them do pray to end world hunger, when it doesn't happen, they just say:

[Baruch]

Solomon - and I understand your example too.  Empirical observation tells one, that ... dying happens to everyone and that G-d has apparently never prevented anyone's death (not even Jesus').  Though of course I am not happy about anyone's ovarian cancer.  But your cousin may have prayed about learning the piano and about how to lead a life of service ... and that did happen ... naturally of course ;-)  Seculars would call that the power of positive thinking.  My kidney specialist may or may not have prayed to survive medical school ... but his learning and experience (very much like your example) was fortunately effective, as was the neurosurgeon who worked on my mother's back.  Praying for someone else, only impacts the person doing the praying, not the intended target generally.

[Green Bottle]

Hi musicharmony an welcome to the madhouse.......

[Solomon Zorn]

I'm certain southpark made an episode similar to that, where a dying cancer kid wants Stan to win the game for his team...

Southpark may be the funniest (and most relevant) cartoon ever. I don't have cable TV anymore, so I never get to see it.