MUST SEE VIDEO, A HERO TO HUMANITY, NOT JUST WOMEN!

[Brian37]

This women is flat out fucking amazing! Now the poem she reads in the video is rightfully blasting the superficial nature of "pretty". But image roles are bullshit even for men. The same unrealistic standards are projected on men too. I was expected to be physically strong and emotionally strong growing up, but was neither. I had pimples and braces and was picked on and bullied for not matching up to social norms.

http://www.upworthy.com/this-womans-bee ... ss?c=ucfb1

[surly74]

yeah i don't see her as a hero, just angry at her mother and is going to go overboard dealing with her own kids.

20 years from now we will have a generation of women with different self esteem issues.

[the_antithesis]

20 years from now we will have a generation of women with different self esteem issues.

Well, awesome.

[surly74]

i got into a facebook argument with my sister when she posted a link about not telling a five year old girl she was pretty. Don't do it ever again, anymore, the article said. No, in moderation, no balancing, just don't do it.

Now, i'm not saying the woman in the video is saying that, she did say "you are pretty and amazing", just meaningless self esteem BS but the message was really the same. in 20 years women who grown up just hearing a certain thing will have esteem issues in another area. That's based on comments of women at the first article's site on what they went through. One woman expressed how all she heard was how smart she was, good in school, and grew up thinking she was ugly and not attractive to men. She still had esteem issues.

In the facebook argument i was told complimenting a five year old girl "why don't you look pretty" was the same as a racial or homophobic slur. The posts should still be up there. That is the level in which some people think. no moderation, no nothing.

physical attractivness is important to esteem. it always has been, it always will be. as long as there will be sex, looks will be important (on a sliding scale combined with alcohol). If someone doesn't want to play the game fine, their choice. Just keep your bitching to a minimum when someone doesn't reciprocate in the "suitabley fuckable" category.

[hillbillyatheist]

I see this as two things.

on one hand there are people that sum up a persons entire value on how they look. you get some singer for instance with pipes straight from heaven, but she's fat, and in youtube comments, many people aren't talking about her amazing voice but what a fat bitch she is.

to me this is disgusting.

but on the other hand, there's who you want to fuck, and in THAT case looks matter alot.

I don't think you're a philistine because you'd rather bang Shania Twain than Rosane Barr.

to claim that "real men" are physically attracted to Roseanne Barr is just nuts.


and I say this as a fat guy. women preferring to fuck Brad pitt over me makes perfect sense. I would too if I was  chick.

but if you sum up a person completely on their physical attractiveness, THEN you're shallow.

and there's alot of these people out there. its why most pop singers have to be hot to be successful.

too many people play beauty over talent, and that  is where I come to consensus with the "lookism is bad" crowd.

[Brian37]

yeah i don't see her as a hero, just angry at her mother and is going to go overboard dealing with her own kids.

20 years from now we will have a generation of women with different self esteem issues.

WHAT? Are you kidding? It would not surprise me in the least if some girl/woman, however they did come across this, with mass media being so easy to access now, if that girl/woman was stuck in an abusive relationship or some religious oppression saw this and decided that their parents/boyfriend/husband/society's baggage did not have to be theirs.

Saying that our species will always have insecurities as individuals does not negate the power of the human voice to over come the baggage of others.

Even outside the issue of gender roles, I know where the atheist voice was in 01 and where it is now. I know that if it were not for the voice of an atheist nurse whose opinion article I read shortly after 9/11, I myself might not have become as outspoken myself. I think you underestimate the power of one voice.

She is my hero, not because of her sex, she is my hero because she is a growing voice in humanity that says "I don't have to be defined by you". She represents a human struggle.

[Brian37]

I see this as two things.

on one hand there are people that sum up a persons entire value on how they look. you get some singer for instance with pipes straight from heaven, but she's fat, and in youtube comments, many people aren't talking about her amazing voice but what a fat bitch she is.

to me this is disgusting.

but on the other hand, there's who you want to fuck, and in THAT case looks matter alot.

I don't think you're a philistine because you'd rather bang Shania Twain than Rosane Barr.

to claim that "real men" are physically attracted to Roseanne Barr is just nuts.


and I say this as a fat guy. women preferring to fuck Brad pitt over me makes perfect sense. I would too if I was  chick.

but if you sum up a person completely on their physical attractiveness, THEN you're shallow.

and there's alot of these people out there. its why most pop singers have to be hot to be successful.

too many people play beauty over talent, and that  is where I come to consensus with the "lookism is bad" crowd.

No no no no, I bet if you talked to her personally she would admit you cant help who you are attracted to, and we cant. But what I do agree with is no one has the right to tell you what to do or how to look. And marketing in media does use sex and image allot.

I think she is right because even outside the issue of "pretty" again, I too suffered from my own ignorance do to lack of age, being too young. I was falsely taught by my mom and dad that guys should be strong physically and mentally and I was neither, no matter how much I wanted to please them, it still was not me.

But I do not think she is saying "Date or marry someone you are not physically attracted to". I think she was merely saying "You don't define me, I define myself".

[surly74]

yeah i don't see her as a hero, just angry at her mother and is going to go overboard dealing with her own kids.

20 years from now we will have a generation of women with different self esteem issues.

WHAT? Are you kidding? It would not surprise me in the least if some girl/woman, however they did come across this, with mass media being so easy to access now, if that girl/woman was stuck in an abusive relationship or some religious oppression saw this and decided that their parents/boyfriend/husband/society's baggage did not have to be theirs.

Saying that our species will always have insecurities as individuals does not negate the power of the human voice to over come the baggage of others.

Even outside the issue of gender roles, I know where the atheist voice was in 01 and where it is now. I know that if it were not for the voice of an atheist nurse whose opinion article I read shortly after 9/11, I myself might not have become as outspoken myself. I think you underestimate the power of one voice.

She is my hero, not because of her sex, she is my hero because she is a growing voice in humanity that says "I don't have to be defined by you". She represents a human struggle.

great, so she doesn't want to be defined by society. i wouldn't confer hero worship on her but that might be hyperbole. I'm all for healthy self esteem but like experience it's usually the bad exeperiences that nurture it and lessons learned. In the bigger picture society wants to protect children from every negative aspect, so they don't feel left out and so on, making them completely incapable of being able to solve their own problems as adults. kids are being told they are exceptional for being merely average.

What happens if this daughter (of the woman in the video) is beautiful but not smart? Telling kids they are amazing for merely existing is a recipe for disaster. We have a whole generation of children that if something doesn't go their way to blame society and not look in the mirror.

[Brian37]

i got into a facebook argument with my sister when she posted a link about not telling a five year old girl she was pretty. Don't do it ever again, anymore, the article said. No, in moderation, no balancing, just don't do it.

Now, i'm not saying the woman in the video is saying that, she did say "you are pretty and amazing", just meaningless self esteem BS but the message was really the same. in 20 years women who grown up just hearing a certain thing will have esteem issues in another area. That's based on comments of women at the first article's site on what they went through. One woman expressed how all she heard was how smart she was, good in school, and grew up thinking she was ugly and not attractive to men. She still had esteem issues.

In the facebook argument i was told complimenting a five year old girl "why don't you look pretty" was the same as a racial or homophobic slur. The posts should still be up there. That is the level in which some people think. no moderation, no nothing.

physical attractivness is important to esteem. it always has been, it always will be. as long as there will be sex, looks will be important (on a sliding scale combined with alcohol). If someone doesn't want to play the game fine, their choice. Just keep your bitching to a minimum when someone doesn't reciprocate in the "suitabley fuckable" category.

Physical attractiveness is important to self esteem, yes, but since evolution is a range, it is just as important not to define yourself by other people's standards, otherwise I would have killed myself long ago because I was not a jock and didn't look like Brad Pit. You can accept that you are not as attractive without wanting to kill yourself because you are not "HOT" yourself.

I've seen couples where one is butt ugly and the spouse is hot, either the man OR the woman. I also accept about myself that many women would NOT find me attractive. That does not mean I don't have self esteem. Looks do have an evolutionary function, but since people are a range and people look different it is better accept that we are all different.

[Sal1981]

Uhm, I'm against poetry slam to begin with - and this didn't help much on my view. There are few reasons to why I don't like poetry slam, one being that it uses mannerisms.

Now, to the word "pretty"; the way I traditionally use it, admittingly, has been to designate on a variable scale the level of good looks. I don't usually use the word "pretty" to designate someone being pretty intelligent or pretty creative or pretty amazing.

Now that I think of it, it has a derogatory feel to it using the word as an adjective to a noun, although I'm no linguist.

[surly74]

Physical attractiveness is important to self esteem, yes, but since evolution is a range, it is just as important not to define yourself by other people's standards, otherwise I would have killed myself long ago because I was not a jock and didn't look like Brad Pit. You can accept that you are not as attractive without wanting to kill yourself because you are not "HOT" yourself.

I've seen couples where one is butt ugly and the spouse is hot, either the man OR the woman. I also accept about myself that many women would NOT find me attractive. That does not mean I don't have self esteem. Looks do have an evolutionary function, but since people are a range and people look different it is better accept that we are all different.

and everyting you said works for you but I don't know what exactly this has to do with the video or defining yourself by other people's standards, a phrase I don't exactly know what it means. The more I think about things the more i realize that in some areas i don't adhere to societies standards and in some areas I do. Everyone does.

The original video screams "hipster" or "new age" because of the trend to stay away from what people call social norms to prove a point. She doesn't want to be defined by being pretty, ok, good luck attracting a mate because the first thing anyone notices about anyone else is appearance. that's life. some ugly guys get the hot models. they've done something to make the hot model want to be with them. they've figured it out. the woman in the video's message is the hot model should be with the ugly guy just because.

[Nonsensei]

I don't know how it would be possible to have a society and not have a set of external standards to live up to. You might be able to change what the standards are but there will always be standards.