Author Topic: Court Disqualifies God Status of FSM  (Read 1080 times)

Offline SGOS (OP)

Court Disqualifies God Status of FSM
« on: April 15, 2016, 09:42:13 AM »
Pastafarianism is under attack by the court.  In a recent case, the judge ruled that it is not a religion.  WTF??  How does one decide whether one bullshit is a certified religion, while another one is not?  Sure, the FSM had satirical beginnings, but now it has a following of over 3 billion sincere followers (that's my estimate, or course).  You can't simply reject a religion, because it's incorrect, flawed, or self contradictory, but you can arbitrarily identify it as a satire and reject it on that personal bias alone.  This should horrify 7 billion loyal followers, who only seek to be given the right to practice their religion under the protection of The Religious Freedom Act.

http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2016/04/14/3769357/what-happens-when-religious-liberty-meets-the-flying-spaghetti-monster/

Quote
Federal District Judge John Gerrard explains in his opinion disposing of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti monster:  Pastafarianism appears to be an elaborate joke.... “The conceit of FSMism,” Gerrard writes, “is that, because intelligent design does not identify the designer, its ‘master intellect’ could just as easily be a ‘Flying Spaghetti Monster’ as any Judeo-Christian deity.”

But is it a religion? And does [its] professed belief in an all-powerful clump of pasta and meatballs grant freedom not to follow certain legal restrictions in much the same way that the owners of Hobby Lobby do not need to provide their employees with birth control coverage?

This question, Gerrard writes, turns out to be much more difficult than it initially may seem. “Candidly,” the judge admits in his opinion, “propositions from existing caselaw are not particularly well-suited for such a situation, because they developed to address more ad hoc creeds, not a comprehensive but plainly satirical doctrine.” (WTF?? does this mean?)

As Gerrard notes, a court of appeals decision that is binding in his court considered factors such as whether a professed belief “addresses fundamental and ultimate questions having to do with deep and imponderable matters” and whether it “consists of a belief system as opposed to an isolated teaching” to determine if that belief constitutes a religion. Pastafarianism, at least on the surface, meets this test. “This case is difficult,” Gerrard says, “because FSMism, as a parody, is designed to look very much like a religion.”  (WTF?? Imponderable matters?  Where does it say that religion must address imponderable matters?).

Supreme Court doctrine, moreover, instructs judges to be very cautious about probing the legitimacy of a professed religious belief.

How can one judge rule against 13 billion sincere Pastafarians?  Do we live in a Christian Theocracy with only one true god, albeit with thousands and thousands of often times glaring variations?  This is an outrage.  We should all write letters to the editor.

Re: Court Disqualifies God Status of FSM
« Reply #1 on: April 15, 2016, 10:39:56 AM »
FSM has a deity, an afterlife, and a holy book consisting of a creation myth, eight "I'd rather you didn'ts", and a guide to evangelizing.  Doesn't get more religious than that.  Sure, you could say it's fake and elaborate joke, but one could say that about any religion.
« Last Edit: April 15, 2016, 12:11:34 PM by Hydra009 »

Re: Court Disqualifies God Status of FSM
« Reply #2 on: April 15, 2016, 10:44:09 AM »
Arrr. We'll be drawin' and flayin' that lubber on the Celestial Quarterdeck, up yonder. Arrrr.  :fsm:

Offline AllPurposeAtheist

Re: Court Disqualifies God Status of FSM
« Reply #3 on: April 15, 2016, 12:09:47 PM »
Well be honest now..I mean let's get real here! ..Pastafarians don't really have people who live in the guts of whales, talking snakes and bushes and we don't really have any zombie action figures who died for breaking the law our sins the way some other religions do..

Maybe we do..I'm not really into it either way..
« Last Edit: April 15, 2016, 12:12:21 PM by AllPurposeAtheist »
All hail my new signature!

Admit it. You're secretly green with envy.

Offline Baruch

Re: Court Disqualifies God Status of FSM
« Reply #4 on: April 15, 2016, 01:39:51 PM »
Well be honest now..I mean let's get real here! ..Pastafarians don't really have people who live in the guts of whales, talking snakes and bushes and we don't really have any zombie action figures who died for breaking the law our sins the way some other religions do..

Maybe we do..I'm not really into it either way..

You don't want judged or lawyers doing anything.  They have no sense of humor ;-)

In the US court system, they make exceptions ... Amish and Mormon polygamists and peyote smoking Native Americans.  Not part of those groups?  Then you are out of luck.
שלום

Offline SGOS (OP)

Re: Court Disqualifies God Status of FSM
« Reply #5 on: April 15, 2016, 04:07:56 PM »
FSM has a deity, an afterlife, and a holy book consisting of a creation myth, eight "I'd rather you didn'ts", and a guide to evangelizing.  Doesn't get more religious than that.  Sure, you could say it's fake and elaborate joke, but one could say that about any religion.

If you look at only the last 5 years or so, the Pastafarian movement is probably the fastest growing religion on the planet.

Well be honest now..I mean let's get real here! ..Pastafarians don't really have people who live in the guts of whales, talking snakes and bushes and we don't really have any zombie action figures who died for breaking the law our sins the way some other religions do..

 

At this rate, someday they may be taken seriously, and then we can start thinking about sticking it to the Christians.


I'm not really into it either way..

I'm thinking about joining up.  It might be a good way to meet women.


Offline kilodelta

Re: Court Disqualifies God Status of FSM
« Reply #6 on: April 15, 2016, 04:19:42 PM »
All I really want is "In FSM We Trust" on some of our currency. Give FSM the dimes and ten dollar bills. The tens represent each noodley appendage (only heathens believe in more or less appendages).
Faith: pretending to know things you don't know

Re: Court Disqualifies God Status of FSM
« Reply #7 on: April 15, 2016, 05:05:13 PM »
Sure, you could say it's fake and elaborate joke, but one could say that about any religion.

Yeah, that happens a lot right here... :agreenod:
God Not Found
"I'd watch a Catholic more closely than an atheist if booze was involved. An atheist doesn't have to wonder if it's possible to get drunk on the Blood of Jesus."
Blackleaf

Re: Court Disqualifies God Status of FSM
« Reply #8 on: April 15, 2016, 05:06:53 PM »
All I really want is "In FSM We Trust" on some of our currency. Give FSM the dimes and ten dollar bills. The tens represent each noodley appendage (only heathens believe in more or less appendages).

In a couple of years it might be "In God We Trump"





 :what:
« Last Edit: November 09, 2016, 03:50:15 PM by Unbeliever »
God Not Found
"I'd watch a Catholic more closely than an atheist if booze was involved. An atheist doesn't have to wonder if it's possible to get drunk on the Blood of Jesus."
Blackleaf

Re: Court Disqualifies God Status of FSM
« Reply #9 on: April 15, 2016, 05:19:21 PM »
God Not Found
"I'd watch a Catholic more closely than an atheist if booze was involved. An atheist doesn't have to wonder if it's possible to get drunk on the Blood of Jesus."
Blackleaf

Offline AllPurposeAtheist

Re: Court Disqualifies God Status of FSM
« Reply #10 on: April 15, 2016, 05:24:59 PM »
What we have here is failure to communicate. We need someone with a slow southern drawl who is charismatic enough to make young girls peel their panties off and make old folks just open their bank accounts with the firm, unyielding belief that by sending 10-20% of their income to FSM will entitle them to eternal spaghetti dinners at the Italian restaurant of their choice upon death. DEATH is the key here.We need to make people scared shitless of dying even when they're convinced that they're not going to hell. They need to be sooo fucking scared of dying and ONLY the FSM can offer them a path to eternal spaghetti dinners because let's face it..What else is there after this life comes to an end?  There's no pizza shops after death. No seafood places. Walmart won't even be around.
THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES THIS LIFE REMOTELY WORTH LIVING is of course the notion of eternal spaghetti dinners at the Italian restaurant of your choice and you can only get there by accepting the FSM into your heart.

Can I have an AMEN brithers and sisters? ...uhh..I might have spelled something wrong there..
« Last Edit: April 15, 2016, 05:26:46 PM by AllPurposeAtheist »
All hail my new signature!

Admit it. You're secretly green with envy.

Re: Court Disqualifies God Status of FSM
« Reply #11 on: April 15, 2016, 05:27:56 PM »
Ramen!  :high5:
God Not Found
"I'd watch a Catholic more closely than an atheist if booze was involved. An atheist doesn't have to wonder if it's possible to get drunk on the Blood of Jesus."
Blackleaf

Offline AllPurposeAtheist

Re: Court Disqualifies God Status of FSM
« Reply #12 on: April 15, 2016, 05:31:36 PM »
Quote
I'm thinking about joining up.  It might be a good way to meet women.
Probably easier to join the YWCA or get a job in a women's prison..
All hail my new signature!

Admit it. You're secretly green with envy.