Is Pedophilia a Choice?

[marom1963]

No, as a former teenager myself I can confirm that every teenager is as braindead as she portrays them.

Now, come on, they're not braindead - they just lack experience ... I'm not saying that it's OK for them to take up w/older lovers, mind you, no ... But, please, be fair - kids are not stupid; they just don't know because they haven't learned yet, is all. They'll learn. They're all right. You can't hold lack of experience against someone who hasn't had time and opportunity to have that experience against him/her. That's not fair ... And, no, they don't realize that they don't have the experience, and, yes, most of them come w/an attitude, and, yes, that can get on your nerves - but we were all teenagers once, so we can afford to be understanding and forgive a little bit. They don't know any better. I'm telling you - they'll learn. They'll be all right.

[Hijiri Byakuren (OP)]

Now, come on, they're not braindead - they just lack experience ... I'm not saying that it's OK for them to take up w/older lovers, mind you, no ... But, please, be fair - kids are not stupid; they just don't know because they haven't learned yet, is all. They'll learn. They're all right. You can't hold lack of experience against someone who hasn't had time and opportunity to have that experience against him/her. That's not fair ... And, no, they don't realize that they don't have the experience, and, yes, most of them come w/an attitude, and, yes, that can get on your nerves - but we were all teenagers once, so we can afford to be understanding and forgive a little bit. They don't know any better. I'm telling you - they'll learn. They'll be all right.

No they're definitely brain-dead.


Fair and balanced (like Fox News).

[FaithIsFilth]

I'm sorry but marrying girls because they were in a horrible situation (oh yes you're her hero )and that in no way is taking advantage of some one in a less fortunate situation then your self! You can help people with out marrying them and then further obligating them to your self. That's dishonest and discussing!

any one can scream and disagree but old men with teenage girl is a predator taking advantage of some one too young and stupid to defend them self. I was one of those teenage girls who was constantly attacked by OLD men. I did not solicit this! Eventually I learned how to be loud and ignorant and even that doesn't deter them. My poor sister was practically raped by a customer in a store where she worked. Her boss straight up said as long as she wasn't raped he didn't care! I even would say some one in their 20's any one older than 21 should not be messing with teenage girls. It's pretty likely that alcohol will be involved in those situations ( I know that's why I looked for men over 21 and no other reason than that). 

It's bad news no matter how you slice it! I don't give two shit's who married who at what age in the past! That was the past when we did many bad and ignorant things. We have grown as a society and know better now! It disheartens me to see so many men support teenage to adult relationships and I"m not talk a few years apart. I'm talking a grown man who knows better. It's predatory and it sickens me! If you can't tell predator behavior from normal behavior then something is wrong with you, you might want to check your self!

What is so wrong with dating some one your own age or ,at least close to it, any how? People on this forum are acting like it's their god given right to target a teenager! Other than using you for money or alcohol or drugs there isn't a teen age girl who wants a 30 + some year old man! That's not true love that's just fucked up! And the fact that so many people are trying to justify this type of behavior scares the shit out of me! No wonder I was sexually harassed and practically raped in my teenage years! Too many people are condoning this sort of behavior! Thanks for supporting predators!

BTW I didn't mean you stromboli I think you nailed it on the head when you said he was grooming her.

What I see here is an emotional outburst. Exclamation mark after exclamation mark. It sucks that you were practically raped, or that your sister was abused, but what you are arguing for here is to make teenage girls LESS safe. Upping the age of consent where it is 16 would be a very irresponsible thing to do. Younger girls are less likely to get themselves tested for STDs if you up the age of consent. That's just one of the reasons not to have it higher than 16, but people ignore things like that and can't see through the fog of emotion that is causing you to support something that would actually harm young girls. You say thanks for supporting predators? I say thanks for supporting making young girls less safe. If it makes girls safer, I have no issue with being told I "support predators".

[doorknob]

What I see here is an emotional outburst. Exclamation mark after exclamation mark. It sucks that you were practically raped, or that your sister was abused, but what you are arguing for here is to make teenage girls LESS safe. Upping the age of consent where it is 16 would be a very irresponsible thing to do. Younger girls are less likely to get themselves tested for STDs if you up the age of consent. That's just one of the reasons not to have it higher than 16, but people ignore things like that and can't see through the fog of emotion that is causing you to support something that would actually harm young girls. You say thanks for supporting predators? I say thanks for supporting making young girls less safe. If it makes girls safer, I have no issue with being told I "support predators".

I'm sorry maybe I'm miss understanding something here?

I did not say anything about upping the age of consent to 16.

Maybe you got my post mixed in with some one else's post.

[FaithIsFilth]

Sorry for the misunderstanding then. You did write that teenage girls were too young and stupid to defend themselves, so that's why I assumed you wanted to up the age. As long as you just object to old people being with teens morally and not legally, then I guess that's not as bad, but still, you are stereotyping all older people (who are breaking no laws) as predators, based on the things you've experienced in your own life. That's not fair at all, just like it's not fair to stereotype blacks as being nothing but a bunch of criminals because you happen to have been robbed by a black guy. By calling every adult who goes after a teen a predator, you are severely cheapening the word. I think the word should be reserved for those who actually have illegality in mind. It should be reserved for the molesters and the rapists, otherwise you cheapen the word to the point where it doesn't mean anything.

[doorknob]

Sorry but you're wrong. Predator is a perfect word for it.


A teenager will never be on equal footing as and older adult. Right there is a huge opening for abuse of authority. This type of relation ship is not positive. There is some knowledge and wisdom you can only gain with age. Some one who is older will likely have the upper hand.

Also you are mentally ill if you think you relate to a teenager better then your own peers. That is not NORMAL! Being attracted to one sure, I've got eyes I can see when some one is hot but the difference is I have no interest in a teenager who can offer me literally nothing but illegal sex! I don't care how mature you think a teenager is they are never mature enough to handle a relationship with an adult. There are some things you only gain with age and years of experience. 16 years or younger is not enough time to be on an equal ground with an adult.

Normal healthy men do not seek out teenagers predators do. Yes I've heard that men always think a 16 year old girl is hot (usually until they have a 16 year old daughter). Hell the young are just plain better looking all around that's a no brainer.

I'm sickened that people are trying to justify this. It is clearly taking advantage of some one younger and more ignorant and should not be encouraged for any reason. There's a reason 18 is the age of consent and it for no reason should be lowered to 16. Men are just thinking with their dicks on this one. Why is it you don't see women trying get with under age teenagers except in rare cases. You don't see women standing in groups ogling teenage boys saying "oh yeah I wish I could tap that!"

Let me tell you something it's not that we can't SEE that a teenage boy is hot or attractive, we can see it. It's just that we know looking is OK maybe even fantasizing but acting on it would be harmful for the teenage boy. Well same goes for a teenage girl.

[FaithIsFilth]

I'm wrong because what? Feelings?

So now you're not only stereotyping men who go after teens as being all predators, even when they have committed no crime and are nothing more than "icky" to you, but you are now a sexist as well?

So you do think the age of consent should be over 16. I see. That is an extremely irrational and irresponsible position to have imo. There is a reason that health organizations think that it should be way lower than 18. They actually consider health, unlike those who disagree with them and are clouded by emotion. I understand that you have had to deal with abuse in your own life, so it sickens you that people would try to justify what you are against, but your position is one that sickens many different health organizations. For instance, if you have an 18 year age of consent, people younger than that are going to be less likely to get checked out because they think society thinks they are doing something wrong by having sex before they are supposed to be having sex, so a young person may not get checked out for that reason.

Since when do people have to be on equal footing when having sex? What kind of a ridiculous notion is that? You should be on equal footing? What the heck does that even mean? You have to find a partner exactly as mature as you are? Can an intelligent adult not have sexual relations with a stupid adult? If an intelligent and very mature teenager has sexual relations with a stupid adult, does that mean the teen was the one taking advantage of the adult? Can a poor adult not be with a rich adult, because the rich person is not on equal footing with them and therefore could be taking advantage of them? Should a rich teen not be with a poor adult, because the rich teen is taking advantage of the poor adult? This equal footing thing is one of the silliest things I have heard in a while. The law in many US states is 16. They have decided that most 16 year olds are mature enough to make that choice. That means they are mature enough to decide what they are going to do with their own body, whether they choose to be with a 16 year old or a 110 year old.

You say healthy men do not seek out teenagers? There is nothing unhealthy about that at all. You just can't get past the ick. That means you are the one with the problem. Not them.

[Draconic Aiur]

I'm wrong because what? Feelings?

So now you're not only stereotyping men who go after teens as being all predators, even when they have committed no crime and are nothing more than "icky" to you, but you are now a sexist as well?

So you do think the age of consent should be over 16. I see. That is an extremely irrational and irresponsible position to have imo. There is a reason that health organizations think that it should be way lower than 18. They actually consider health, unlike those who disagree with them and are clouded by emotion. I understand that you have had to deal with abuse in your own life, so it sickens you that people would try to justify what you are against, but your position is one that sickens many different health organizations. For instance, if you have an 18 year age of consent, people younger than that are going to be less likely to get checked out because they think society thinks they are doing something wrong by having sex before they are supposed to be having sex, so a young person may not get checked out for that reason.

Since when do people have to be on equal footing when having sex? What kind of a ridiculous notion is that? You should be on equal footing? What the heck does that even mean? You have to find a partner exactly as mature as you are? Can an intelligent adult not have sexual relations with a stupid adult? If an intelligent and very mature teenager has sexual relations with a stupid adult, does that mean the teen was the one taking advantage of the adult? Can a poor adult not be with a rich adult, because the rich person is not on equal footing with them and therefore could be taking advantage of them? Should a rich teen not be with a poor adult, because the rich teen is taking advantage of the poor adult? This equal footing thing is one of the silliest things I have heard in a while. The law in many US states is 16. They have decided that most 16 year olds are mature enough to make that choice. That means they are mature enough to decide what they are going to do with their own body, whether they choose to be with a 16 year old or a 110 year old.

You say healthy men do not seek out teenagers? There is nothing unhealthy about that at all. You just can't get past the ick. That means you are the one with the problem. Not them.

Doesnt mean 16 year olds know whats good for them. Hell most are fucking stupid, and if you range all of them you can sure as hell guess when their 18 theyll still be fucking stupid. Men who are healthy tend to go for girls who are around their age sometimes younger or older but the deal is not underage (men like mature women) and that goes for mentally too. If you get off to a jailbait that are immature, your a wacko that no sane father will ever let you around their daughters. Also if were going by legally I can say if your a 110 year old man or woman you should no better.

[FaithIsFilth]

Men who are healthy tend to go for girls who are around their age sometimes younger or older but the deal is not underage (men like mature women) and that goes for mentally too. If you get off to a jailbait that are immature, your a wacko that no sane father will ever let you around their daughters. Also if were going by legally I can say if your a 110 year old man or woman you should no better.

Can you provide me with a link with a professional saying these things? That healthy men go for girls around their own age? You just made that up, didn't you? Come on now.

[Draconic Aiur]

Can you provide me with a link with a professional saying these things? That healthy men go for girls around their own age? You just made that up, didn't you? Come on now.

Basic common sense.

[doorknob]

http://www.thefrisky.com/2011-03-31/guy-talk-is-it-natural-for-older-guys-to-lust-after-young-wom

[FaithIsFilth]

Basic common sense.

lol so that's no link then, because you completely made that up? I see.

[FaithIsFilth]

Even if it were “natural,” there’s nothing innocent or harmless or healthy about older men pursuing substantially younger women. The cost is high to everyone involved. While a few young women may be attracted to much older guys (often because they falsely imagine themselves to be “so much more mature” than “other girls” their age), most are like Amber—disheartened and disgusted by the endless parade of men 10, 20, or 40 years older who harass and hit on them. These young women aren’t flattered. And even if they seem flattered at the time, it doesn’t mean the attention from older men isn’t doing great harm.

"There's nothing healthy about pursuing substantially younger women." The writer is giving her opinion here, rather than actually showing that men who pursue younger girls have a health impairment. The writer is saying that she doesn't think relationships between teens and adults are healthy. I'm sure you can find a lot of people saying that. This wasn't the claim I was disputing. I was disputing the claim that men who don't stick with women around their own age are unhealthy. Your article says that older men are doing great harm, but is that the case when you have a 65 year old man with a 24 year old woman, or a 55 year old man with a 35 year old woman? If the answer is no, then his claim about men being unhealthy unless they stick with around their own age range has been shown to be wrong.

“Girls who choose men so far out of their age ranges,” Cohen writes, “tend toward low self-esteem and depression.”

This is saying that the girls are the ones with the mental health issues.

[doorknob]

Seriously a teenager doesn't want a 30+ year old man. That is the old mans ego/fantasy. FYI it's wrong to force your self on some one and, that is the case with these types of men. Maybe in an extremely rare case will a teenager fall in love with a 30+ but that's extremely rare. We shouldn't be opening the door for these pervs to be molesting and ogling young teenage girls for something so ridiculous as a true love between teen and old man.

So yes you are supporting the predators. What's the matter did I burst your fantasy of getting it on with a 16 year old? Fantasy is one thing but reality is a totally different thing. The reality is teenagers do not fucking want you! You have no business flirting with a 16 year old that IS common sense. If you are that stupid then you deserve to go to jail and worse.

[Draconic Aiur]

Agree with above^^