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8 reasons everyone should learn to code

Started by PickelledEggs, April 13, 2016, 06:10:49 PM

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PickelledEggs

http://www.clickhole.com/article/8-reasons-everyone-should-learn-how-code-2985



QuoteLet’s face it: We’d all like to have more programming knowledge. But why should you invest the time and energy into actually learning to code? Here are eight reasons that will convince you.

1. You get to italicize text without having to call a professional: One of the most basic perks of coding is that you immediately learn to italicize all the text you want just as good as any professional. This could save you hundreds of dollars every year.

2. Potential employers will start jumping in front of your car: With a valuable skill like coding, you’ll notice a sharp uptick in potential employers immediately throwing themselves in front of your vehicle. Just another advantage of being a programmer!

3. You get to spend more time with your computer: That feeling! Your chair pressing against your body, the fingers of both of your hands colliding with great pleasure against alphabet-themed keys. There’s nothing better, and when you’re a coder, you have an excuse to do it all the time.

4. Doctors will treat you like an equal: When you meet a physician or surgeon and tell them how you perform the computer surgery, they will look you in the eye, shake your hand, and say, “Continue doing your noble work, peer.”

5. You will understand what’s happened when your banking info is stolen: While others will be left in the dark wondering how hackers managed to rip off their life savings, you will know exactly how it was done and be able to explain it to your loved ones.

6. You will meet girls with colored hair: If you’re sorely lacking in female acquaintances with neon red, blue, or green hair, learning to code will be a great way to finally introduce them into your social circle.

7. You will be able to run 3D simulations of a praying mantis getting smashed by a Bible: Have you ever wondered what it would look like if a praying mantis got smashed by a Bible? If you learn to code, you can use the power of the computer to create highly accurate 3D simulations depicting this dream scenario.

8. You can code Theresa back to life: It has to be possible. It is possible. Yes, she may have a machine mind and a code body, but it will be the same Theresa, the same one, just the same. Yes, everything exactly as it always was. Ah, Theresa, soon, soon…

Mr.Obvious

#1
Quote
7. You will be able to run 3D simulations of a praying mantis getting smashed by a Bible: Have you ever wondered what it would look like if a praying mantis got smashed by a Bible? If you learn to code, you can use the power of the computer to create highly accurate 3D simulations depicting this dream scenario.

...

Alright, fuck it.
I can only conclude this author and I would not get along.
"If we have to go down, we go down together!"
- Your mum, last night, requesting 69.

Atheist Mantis does not pray.

stromboli

I love Praying Mantises. They are a beautiful example of evolutionary adaptation. I am sad.

PickelledEggs

Quote from: Mr.Obvious on April 13, 2016, 06:31:10 PM
...

Alright, fuck it.
I can only conclude this author and I would not get along.
lol it's a satire of click-bait websites like buzzfeed. It's supposed to be just nonsensical. :lol:

Hydra009

Are we going to talk about how the woman in the picture looks like horribly contorted?

stromboli

Quote from: Hydra009 on April 13, 2016, 08:18:40 PM
Are we going to talk about how the woman in the picture looks like horribly contorted?

That vest she's wearing looks like the protective apron they wear when doing xrays. Might be an xray technician.

PickelledEggs

Quote from: Hydra009 on April 13, 2016, 08:18:40 PM
Are we going to talk about how the woman in the picture looks like horribly contorted?
That is how everyone looks when they write code, obviously.

Gawdzilla Sama

I've never coded.

I've done COBOL, but that doesn't count.
We 'new atheists' have a reputation for being militant, but make no mistake  we didn't start this war. If you want to place blame put it on the the religious zealots who have been poisoning the minds of the  young for a long long time."
PZ Myers

Baruch

She is a SJW .... and she is wearing a flack jacket ... just in case there is incoming MRA fire ... geeks can't stand girls breaking up their boy's club ;-)
Ha’át’íísh baa naniná?
Azee’ Å,a’ish nanídį́į́h?
Táadoo ánít’iní.
What are you doing?
Are you taking any medications?
Don't do that.

AllPurposeAtheist

I'm completely forgiving of the author for suggesting employers will throw themselves in front of moving cars.. Most employers should do just that..
All hail my new signature!

Admit it. You're secretly green with envy.

Mike Cl

Quote from: Gawdzilla Sama on April 14, 2016, 07:15:10 AM
I've never coded.

I've done COBOL, but that doesn't count.
Never coded either.  But I also did BASIC.  But that was so long ago that I've forgotten the most basic part of that and can't even remember the basis for the basic.
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?<br />Then he is not omnipotent,<br />Is he able but not willing?<br />Then whence cometh evil?<br />Is he neither able or willing?<br />Then why call him god?

AllPurposeAtheist

#11
Quote from: Mike Cl on April 14, 2016, 09:08:17 AM
Never coded either.  But I also did BASIC.  But that was so long ago that I've forgotten the most basic part of that and can't even remember the basis for the basic.
I used to be able to write all the crap that goes into web pages, but that and a dollar wouldn't buy me a cup of coffee so I gave up on it. I can still make things ITALIC .. big fucking WOOPTEEDOOOOOOOOO*!



*extra O's for emphasis
All hail my new signature!

Admit it. You're secretly green with envy.

stromboli

As a dude who failed Algebra twice and is pretty much useless past long division, I am not even going there. Not even. Btw, it appears I am allergic to maths. In high school I took an Algebra class- came down with Measles, then Strep Throat and then The other kind of Measles. Nearly died twice. Almost failed out of high school. Sort of a psychosomatic response to Algebra now.

Gawdzilla Sama

Quote from: Mike Cl on April 14, 2016, 09:08:17 AM
Never coded either.  But I also did BASIC.  But that was so long ago that I've forgotten the most basic part of that and can't even remember the basis for the basic.
For a while BASIC was my GOTO language.
We 'new atheists' have a reputation for being militant, but make no mistake  we didn't start this war. If you want to place blame put it on the the religious zealots who have been poisoning the minds of the  young for a long long time."
PZ Myers

PopeyesPappy

BinaryConverter {
   
    public static void main(String[] args){
        for(int i = -5; i < 33; i++){
            System.out.println(i + ": " + toBinary(i));
            System.out.println(i);
            //always another way
            System.out.println(i + ": " + Integer.toBinaryString(i));
        }
    }
   
    /*
     * pre: none
     * post: returns a String with base10Num in base 2
     */
    public static String toBinary(int base10Num){
        boolean isNeg = base10Num < 0;
        base10Num = Math.abs(base10Num);       
        String result = "";
       
        while(base10Num > 1){
            result = (base10Num % 2) + result;
            base10Num /= 2;
        }
        assert base10Num == 0 || base10Num == 1 : "value is not <= 1: " + base10Num;
       
        result = base10Num + result;
        assert all0sAnd1s(result);
       
        if( isNeg )
            result = "-" + result;
        return result;
    }
   
    /*
     * pre: cal != null
     * post: return true if val consists only of characters 1 and 0, false otherwise
     */
    public static boolean all0sAnd1s(String val){
        assert val != null : "Failed precondition all0sAnd1s. parameter cannot be null";
        boolean all = true;
        int i = 0;
        char c;
       
        while(all && i < val.length()){
            c = val.charAt(i);
            all = c == '0' || c == '1';
            i++;
        }
        return all;
    }
}
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