Patron Saint Of Atheism. Seriously.

[stromboli]

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Patron Saint of Atheists
Saint Otteran (or Oran) was a monk who lived on the tiny, beautiful Scottish island of Iona, a sacred isle which became a burial place for Scottish and Viking rulers. When Saint Colomba was exiled from Ireland in 563, he founded a monastery on Iona with several companions, one of whom was Saint Otteran.

Legend has it that Saint Colomba's attempts to build a chapel on Iona were thwarted as the building was myseriously destroyed every night. A voice told Saint Colomba that the chapel could not be completed until a man was buried alive in the foundation. Obliging soul that he was, Saint Otteran volunteered for the task and was buried alive so that the chapel could be finished.

Some time later, Saint Otteran, whom all had supposed to be long dead, pushed his head up out of the floor and informed the congregation that contrary to popular belief, there actually was neither a heaven nor a hell. Saint Colomba, aghast at this impertinent revelation, pushed Saint Otteran back into the ground and had him buried more securely beneath the chapel, where he remains to this day.

a sacred isle which became a burial place for Scottish and Viking rulers.

How fucking cool is that? No shit, I'm calling Saint Otteran down on every meat brain theist I meet. I have both Scottish and Swedish in my genealogy, so fuck yeah. 

[AllPurposeAtheist]

I want to be the patron saint of gibberish..

[doorknob]

I'm scottish and german. I love both. I have quite a superiority complex though

[AllPurposeAtheist]

Fuck it..I decsended directly from the sun.. if I start losing you had better be prepared to jab a knife right into your own gut!

[stromboli]

I figure that since the FSM or Cthulhu or the Tooth Fairy or other deities of a sort have been invoked by atheists, nothing wrong with our very own saint. Might as well use their own beliefs to show the stupidity of them.

And I honestly do worship the sun. I am now wearing shorts and a short sleeved shirt and will be getting a tan while working in my yard.  That is sun worship in the orthodox tradition.

[The Atheist]

It seems like something an atheist made up to be funny.

Edit:

I did some googling, and it turns out that there are several versions of the story. The version which has him popping his head up quotes him as saying, "There is no such great wonder in death, nor is Hell or Heaven what it has been described.”

In other words, he says that heaven and hell are beyond anything that has been described. Someone just misinterpreted the quote to make St. Otteran seem atheistic.

St. Otteran's biographer and contemporary Adamnan doesn't even relate this event, so it's most likely a pious myth that develop long after St. Otteran's death.

[drunkenshoe]

Besides the oxymoron, there is no linguistic ground to support an atheistic world view in 16th century, let alone in the 6th. Its a perk of the modern world we were born into. (The usage of the word modernity 500 years ago has nothing to do with it.) It's a result of Wissenschaft.

Saying 'there is no hell or heaven' is not an atheistic view.

[Unbeliever]

I have quite a superiority complex though

But that's not a bad thing, if you really are superior.