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Do you need a friend?

Started by NitzWalsh, March 23, 2013, 09:11:49 AM

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NitzWalsh

I work security for a bank in a local mall. Some of the local proselytes like to make their rounds in the mall leaving their little scraps of Jesus papers everywhere. This is much to the chagrin of the mall security who have been trying to catch them in the act so they can ban the Jesus creepers from the mall.

I collect their propaganda tracts whenever I see them because they are good for a laugh. I have four of them right here and thought I'd share them with everyone along with what I think about them. I'm going to link to the tract distributor websites so you can go there and read them in their entirety if anyone here is a sadist like me.

Do You Need a Friend?
https://www.evangelicaltract.com/comers ... Product=47

My answer to that is, sure, who couldn't use a friend every now and then. The tract opens with an emotional appeal, saying that "our lives can be full of so much tragedy, hurt, heartbreak and misery." It's pretty much appealing to people who have experienced loss in their lives, people who need some sort of solace, and telling them that Jesus is that solace.

It talks about real friends letting us down, but Jesus is always there. He wants to be your friend. He already knows you, so you should get to know him. It tells you to talk to him, turn to God, and you will never be lonely again.

Essentially it's telling the readers that they are never too old to have an imaginary friend.

Christmas and YOU
https://www.evangelicaltract.com/comers ... Product=57

The first paragraph of this one says that "The birth of Jesus is not simply an interesting fact of history wholly unrelated to your present life... but rather it has a direct bearing upon it." I didn't realize it was a fact of history. I thought it was more of a "hey, this guy Jesus might have existed, but we don't know for sure because we don't have enough evidence." It talks about the birth of Jesus even though if the bible stories are right about his birth, it wasn't on Christmas.

I celebrate Christmas with my family, but we never talk about Jesus or his birth, we just have fun, spend time together, exchange gifts, and scratch lotto tickets.

Won't You Love My Jesus?
https://www.evangelicaltract.com/comers ... roduct=422

This one has a picture of a cute little curly haired girl on the front of it. It tells a sad little story about the daughter of a mans old friend who gets sick and dies, the man, feeling guilty about saying something derogatory about Jesus in front of the girl prior to her being sick converts as she is dying to help make her happy as she croaks. It's pretty much "I'm sad, you're sick, so Jesus saves"

Someone Cares http://www.crossway.org/tracts/someone-cares-2794/

This one is pretty much like the "Do You Need a Friend" one. Jesus died for you, believe in him so you don't disappoint him.

I hope the mall security guys can catch the proselytes before they cut down all the trees for these idiotic tracts. The mall security guy told me that every day they end up throwing out a few hundred of these stupid things.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
~ Arthur C. Clarke

leo

I don't want Christian friends .
Religion is Bullshit  . The winner of the last person to post wins thread .

ApostateLois

1st one: I don't need an imaginary friend because I have real-life friends. I can go to lunch with them, talk on the phone, go for walks, do fun things together, have a laugh, watch a movie, commiserate with them when they are down, and many other things. No matter how hard you try, you can't send an e-mail to God. You can't cry on his shoulder. You can't meet up for lunch at the mall, or go shopping with him, or ask his advice, or anything else that REAL friends do with, and for, each other.  The best you can do is pretend you are having conversations with him in your head, and pretend that he is responding. But pretending is not the same as doing.

2nd one: Same boring stuff I heard in sermons every year at Christmas time. You'd think by now they could come up with a new angle. Something like, "Jesus was born with NINJA POWERS to defeat the devil straight out of the womb! And we all know that ninjas make Christmas even better!"

3rd one: The glurge about Bessie... Ugh! Terrible! Who the hell would convert to a religion for no other reason than that they felt sorry for a dying little child? What disease did she have? If she was terminal, why was she at home and not at a hospital, receiving medical care and pain killers and oxygen? The girl nearly goes into a coma and is obviously sick and dying, and nobody thinks to call 9-1-1? They must be a bunch of crackpot religious nutters who withhold medical care from their children in the firm belief that Jesus will heal them. If I had been invited to that household, I'd have called child welfare services.

4th one: Really just a different version of the 1st pamphlet, emphasizing that you need an invisible friend to get you through life's hard times. Also, you are a "sinner," and "sin" needs to be forgiven by this invisible friend before he will actually bother to be your friend. "Sin" is of course not defined, but we all know what it is: it's whatever the preachers don't want you to do. Giving your hard-earned money to them, when you really should be spending on your own and your family's needs, is not a sin; withholding that money is, because it makes God mad. Also, anything to do with sex, unless it's in the missionary position with a person of the opposite gender to whom you are legally married.
"Now we see through a glass dumbly." ~Crow, MST3K #903, "Puma Man"

The Non Prophet

Even though this was not supposed to be a serious thread, one problem I think a lot of Atheists have is not having enough friends or at least like-minded friends. Another problem is also being isolated from freethinkers like some of us who live in small towns, have religious friends/family or just in highly religious areas in general. Maybe instead of this thread, we should provide resources for having Atheists connect; like a friends network or social programs in our areas. Religions have all the perks over us, they have togetherness in community, tax exempt status, huge funding, political rule, majority rule and most of all consensus. Your title was a bit disappointing I must say, I would love to make atheists friends but nobody in my life is except one person. We should be banding together to make friendships and ultimately political representation that Atheists and Non Believers clearly need in the U.S. as we as the biggest minority in America and with no representation.