Has anyone seen my Helmet of Faith?

[1liesalot]

I can't find my Helmet of Faith. If God smites me before I can find it, I will be fucked and will burn in eternal hell fire. Have you ever made the same mistake and what did you do about it?

[Termin]

 Did you look under the couch ?

[aitm]

Thank goodness, I thought this was going to be something completely different.

[peacewithoutgod]

If it happens to be made of tinfoil, just make another one - when you believe you're fucked by an all-knowing god who sees everything, there may be nothing you can do about that other than to find out for sure what this god really knows. Think of it as Pascal's Wager in reverse - maybe you aren't really fucked because god isn't really what he's said to be.

[CrucifyCindy]

Did you roll the 20 sided dice and use your Wand of Finding Hidden Objects?

[Unbeliever]

I can't find my Helmet of Faith. If God smites me before I can find it, I will be fucked and will burn in eternal hell fire. Have you ever made the same mistake and what did you do about it?

You'll probably find that it's somewhere north, east, south and west of Baghdad. Maybe around Tikrit.

[josephpalazzo]

It's called a Helmet of Salvation... idiot atheists 

[Mike Cl]

It's called a Helmet of Salvation... idiot atheists 

I thought that was the Helmet of Salivation.

[stromboli]

FOUND IT!

     

[GrinningYMIR]

Did you roll the 20 sided dice and use your Wand of Finding Hidden Objects?

he rolled a 1 and found a half eaten twix and a used condom

[ApostateLois]

It's the SHIELD of faith, you sillyhead! It gives you something to hide behind whenever a mean old atheist attacks you with logical arguments about evolution. Ideally, your Jesus-armor should be of First Century Roman design. I don't know why, but God likes that style best.

And don't forget the most important part: the visor of blind belief!

[Baruch]

Now I know that all cats go to Heaven ... they are prepared ;-)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2539109/Ready-CAT-tle-Now-cat-BODY-ARMOR-turning-unstoppable-force-slaughter-just-500.html

For the more serious and less cost conscious:

http://www.rpgbooster.com/battle-kittens-armour-for-your-cats/

[1liesalot]

Did you look under the couch ?

Yes, but all I could find was my Salvation Helmet.

[josephpalazzo]

Problem with it is that it's too big. You can't tell someone to shove it up your ass.

[1liesalot]

It's the SHIELD of faith, you sillyhead! It gives you something to hide behind whenever a mean old atheist attacks you with logical arguments about evolution. Ideally, your Jesus-armor should be of First Century Roman design. I don't know why, but God likes that style best.

And don't forget the most important part: the visor of blind belief!

Damn you to hell, scoffer! You're in trouble now for today is the end of the world and you have no Helmet of Salvation.