New Child Rape Denier Elected

[widdershins]

Got it!  It's a power the comes and goes.  He can only get it AFTER he becomes pope and "when, in the exercise of his office as shepherd and teacher of all Christians, in virtue of his supreme apostolic authority, he defines a doctrine concerning faith or morals to be held by the whole Church".  So there really is no magic transformation, no escape to the Pope Cave, no toxic sludge...very disappointing.

[SvZurich]

Now that he has it, has he miraculously regained his missing lung?  God gives to those who ask!  

[SGOS]

White smoke seen from the Sistine Chapel just announced.

And I've been beside myself from the anticipation.  But thank God they found a new Pope before the deadline.  Today, we have all witnessed an important moment in history.  I can't wait to see what he's like; Questions, questions, questions:  What dramatic changes will he make?  What new proclamations will he issue?  Will he be more transparent?  Will there be a new Spanish inquisition?  What's his stand on world peace?  Does he read in the bathtub?  Does he like pickled herring?  Does he abhor a vacuum?  Will he confer with the old Pope, or will he just have him killed?

[widdershins]

White smoke seen from the Sistine Chapel just announced.

And I've been beside myself from the anticipation.  But thank God they found a new Pope before the deadline.  Today, we have all witnessed an important moment in history.  I can't wait to see what he's like; Questions, questions, questions:  What dramatic changes will he make?  What new proclamations will he issue?  Will he be more transparent?  Will there be a new Spanish inquisition?  What's his stand on world peace?  Does he read in the bathtub?  Does he like pickled herring?  Does he abhor a vacuum?  Will he confer with the old Pope, or will he just have him killed?

Does he like blonds or brunets?  6 year olds or more mature 12 year olds?  Boys or girlish boys?

[Brian37]

Popes are not elected, they are appointed. In real elections you have a population that votes.

[stromboli]

You forgot the ring. When he becomes Pope he gets a special ring with powers in it. Like Sauron.

[caseagainstfaith]

So, wait...was he infallible going into this or was he magically transformed because of the vote?  At exactly what point do his super powers kick in?

I'm no expert on Catholicism, but, I am pretty sure that not even the Pope is supposed to be infallible all the time.  He is supposed to be able to make infallible proclamations, but, I don't know what the alleged requirements are before any specific proclamation is deemed infallible.  But, in short, it isn't as simple as, "he's the Pope, he is infallible".

[Wheatthins]

>new pope praised as first non-european to hold the position, ever
>comes from Argentina, literally the whitest country outside of Europe
>pathetic attempt to appear like the church is a modern institution NOT RUN by white old pervy men
>mfw

[SilentFutility]

South America has seen some of the largest rises in HIV/aids contraction rates in the past couple of decades.

Wonder what the new pope will do about that?

Nothing.

Doubt it.
He'll probably make it worse by pushing for less and less contraceptive use in his home country.

The new guy's opposed to gays and abortions. But at leat this one wasn't involved in any molestation cover-ups. (That we currently know of.)

Well it is part of his new job description.

[Shiranu]

Has he been active in the child rape scandals?

[Colanth]

Now that he has it, has he miraculously regained his missing lung?

No.  Evidently his faith is smaller than a mustard seed.

[mnmelt]

Wait till WE, the church of the dental deity elect a new Tooth Fairy.. Fucking pope won't be Jack Francis Shit!

Hey..!!! My dad was an oral surgeon.... that makes me the Daughter of god!! kneel,.. bow,.. bend..!!!

[mnmelt]

Wait till WE, the church of the dental deity elect a new Tooth Fairy.. Fucking pope won't be Jack Francis Shit!

Hey..!!! My dad was an oral surgeon.... that makes me the Daughter of god!! kneel,.. bow,.. bend..!!!

Ok.. Ok... Can I at least get a genuflection or two..???  Please..??!!!

[GurrenLagann]

So they democratically elected God's chosen? Lulzy indeed.

[Mermaid]

I can now go back to not caring about something I didn't care about.