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Rate the latest movie you've seen.

Started by GalacticBusDriver, February 16, 2013, 12:37:09 AM

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aitm

Quote from: "SGOS"Pathfinders 2/10

WWII paratroopers drop into France the day before "D" Day.  They set up radio signals and ground lights to guide the Allied "something or other" to do "whatever".  I'm not exactly sure what that was, but it must have been something important and dangerous.  

This independent film was produced by someone called the Portland Film Group, which I'd guess must be a group of first year students at a community college in down town Portland, Oregon, who opted for making a movie as a class project, rather than having to write a term paper.

There is so much wrong with this highly uninteresting movie that you ought to watch it just to see how boring it is.  Every last character in the movie is totally forgettable.  They all act the same, without any personality, just human robots carrying out an assignment.  You can't tell one from the other.  If they die, you won't care.  If they succeed, you won't care either.  

The paratroopers are up against highly trained German units specializing in "anti-paratrooper" warfare.  I'm not kidding.  The movie calls them "highly specialized anti-paratrooper units", not that it makes any difference, because the Germans are even dumber than the Americans.  They whistle and sing German marching songs.  They do this with a loud gaiety at the top of their lungs, while they wait in ambush.  So it's no problem for the Americans to locate and kill them.

There's lots of mind boggling heroics by the Americans.  Soldiers sacrifice themselves by throwing themselves on grenades that could have easily been picked up and thrown back at the Germans.  One guy lays on a grenade that takes so long to explode I thought it was a dud.  Finally, it exploded after 10 seconds.  

The Americans play it cagey sneaking around and doing their secret stuff, but sometimes, for no explainable reason, one will rush wildly at the Germans while yelling and firing his rifle.  He might die or not.  You won't care.  You can't even remember which guy he was in the movie anyway.

one of the most enjoyable reviews I have read. You missed your calling.
A humans desire to live is exceeded only by their willingness to die for another. Even god cannot equal this magnificent sacrifice. No god has the right to judge them.-first tenant of the Panotheust

NitzWalsh

Quote from: "Hydra009"
Quote from: "NitzWalsh"I give them all 30/10.
You, my friend, are either the most forgiving critic I have ever met or unclear on the whole critic scores core concept.

1/10 = purge it with fire, assassinate the production staff
2/10 = makes me die a little inside, probably killed the franchise
3/10 = vomit-inducing
4/10 = horrid
5/10 = average
6/10 = okay, but could've been much better
7/10 = pretty good, despite several flaws
8/10 = amazing
9/10 = I want to marry this movie!
10/10 = exceptional quality, this will be a cultural touchstone for generations to come.

I'm aware, and only forgiving when it comes to Star Trek.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
~ Arthur C. Clarke

Plu

I watched Amelie again. It shall remain my favorite film ever for a while longer.

I give it a 10/10. The atmopshere, the characters, the story, all both heartwarming and tear-inducing.

Hydra009

Dungeons and Dragons:  The Book of Vile Darkness

[youtube:ctee09j6]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVwPgrQ_R_s[/youtube:ctee09j6]

Judging from the trailer, I expected an utterly crappy movie.  I was ready to lay into this stinker and mock it mercilessly.  But then I actually watched it.

It was actually good.  I have been pleasantly surprised.

The movie is nowhere near as bad as it is portrayed in the trailer.  It's not without it's flaws - some of the acting isn't great (others surprised me by just how well they pulled off their characters, especially the vermin guy), the special effects definitely needed some work, the first few scenes were kinda boring, and the script could use a rewrite to really flesh things out a bit more.  But for such an obviously low-budget film, it turned out pretty damn enjoyable and entertaining.  Maybe I'm just a sucker for Team Evil, but I genuinely liked these characters.

Plot:
It tells the story of a holy knight aspirant on the moment of his knighthood, who seeks a blessing from his God, Pelor, The Shining One.  A sign to signify His approval.  Nothing happens.  And soon after, the holy order is massacred by their enemies and the aspirant's father taken captive.  To save his father, this holy knight infiltrates an evil adventuring party and starts down on a path of darkness...

Score:  6/10.  It's okay for what it is.

Reasons to watch:
* Boobies.  Lots of them.
* Evil Feels Good.
* The evil adventuring party is great.  My favorite by far is the guy who can transform his body into a cloud of vermin (cockroaches, centipedes, scorpions, etc) and swarms over people, killing them horrifically.  He is disturbing as hell and I love him for it.
* Some really satisfying deaths.  They're pretty hardcore in this movie.  This is not a family friendly film in the slightest.
* The zombie scene freaks me the hell out.  I'm seriously going to have nightmares about that.  *shudders*

NitzWalsh

D&D3, I didn't even know there was a second one.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
~ Arthur C. Clarke

Hydra009

Quote from: "NitzWalsh"D&D3, I didn't even know there was a second one.
Wrath of the Dragon God, a made-for-tv movie, so I don't blame you for not knowing about it  I dimly remember it myself.

rickcopeland648

Quote from: "Plu"I watched Amelie again. It shall remain my favorite film ever for a while longer.

I give it a 10/10. The atmopshere, the characters, the story, all both heartwarming and tear-inducing.


Yeah, "Amalie" is a movie The Rick Copeland should really hate. It's quite cloying and cutsie, the main character has elements that he would hate if they were portrayed by... say Zooey Deschanelle... but it really is a cute, sweet movie. And Audrey Tautou is cute as all get out. C'mon, that bit where you see her through the observation glass waving...

The Rick Copeland is eagerly looking forward to watching the second part of the comedy epic "Atlas Shrugged". Nooooooooo!
"It was then I understood my mission. I knew I must overthrow the white man and all he stood for. But that would not be easy. I would need the help from my organizing brothers and sisters. But most of all, I\'d need the help of Allah. All thanks be to Allah, praise be his sweet and blessed name."
   -- From "Dreams From my Father: The Unexpurgated Version THEY don\'t Want You To Read". By B. Obama Hussein, Forward By Jerome Corsi"

"Syphilis is the algebra of infection."

rickcopeland648

Quote from: "NitzWalsh"I watched Star Trek First Contact, a 1996 film featuring the Star Trek The Next Generation cast. I've seen it multiple times. Great movie, it's got a lot of Borg(the zombies of Star Trek). I give it 30 stars out of a possible 10.

The Rick Copeland hasn't see that since it was in theaters. He never cared for ST:TNG and had no real knowledge of the Borg before the movie. He recalled thinking the movie was ok, but that the Borg were kinda dull. Somewhat like Jehovas's Witnesses.... But with that cool cube spaceship thing....
"It was then I understood my mission. I knew I must overthrow the white man and all he stood for. But that would not be easy. I would need the help from my organizing brothers and sisters. But most of all, I\'d need the help of Allah. All thanks be to Allah, praise be his sweet and blessed name."
   -- From "Dreams From my Father: The Unexpurgated Version THEY don\'t Want You To Read". By B. Obama Hussein, Forward By Jerome Corsi"

"Syphilis is the algebra of infection."

rickcopeland648

Quote from: "Aroura33"Tucker and Dale vs Evil. 8/10

Surprisingly funny.  I laughed a lot during the first half, hard enough to almost fall off the couch.  The second half was a little slower on the laughs, but still good.
I would totally recommend this to anyone with a dark sense of humor.

"Tucker and Dale vs Evil" is worth watching just for the best scene ever involving a chainsaw and bees...
"It was then I understood my mission. I knew I must overthrow the white man and all he stood for. But that would not be easy. I would need the help from my organizing brothers and sisters. But most of all, I\'d need the help of Allah. All thanks be to Allah, praise be his sweet and blessed name."
   -- From "Dreams From my Father: The Unexpurgated Version THEY don\'t Want You To Read". By B. Obama Hussein, Forward By Jerome Corsi"

"Syphilis is the algebra of infection."

SGOS

Quote from: "rickcopeland648"The Rick Copeland is eagerly looking forward to watching the second part of the comedy epic "Atlas Shrugged". Nooooooooo!
They're really going to do the second part?  Who is funding the thing?  Part one was a box office bomb (it didn't even play in local theaters here), and what producer would want to build on that?

Not to say I didn't half way enjoy the first part.  I would categorize it as "so so Sci Fi".  If you think of it that way, the stupidity of the central message can be overlooked.  I'm actually looking forward to see how Hollywood recreates the secret Utopian society hidden away in the Colorado mountains.  I've always pictured that as a bunch of eccentric rich guys living in 1700 hundreds village that looks like early Salem Massachusetts.

rickcopeland648

Quote from: "SGOS"
Quote from: "rickcopeland648"The Rick Copeland is eagerly looking forward to watching the second part of the comedy epic "Atlas Shrugged". Nooooooooo!


Quote from: "SGOS"They're really going to do the second part?  Who is funding the thing?  Part one was a box office bomb (it didn't even play in local theaters here), and what producer would want to build on that?

What do you mean "going to"? Brother, they already did it. It's out on video now.

The Rick Copeland hopes they make the third part. He also hopes the last forty or so minutes consists solely of a radio playing a speech. Sweeeeeet...
"It was then I understood my mission. I knew I must overthrow the white man and all he stood for. But that would not be easy. I would need the help from my organizing brothers and sisters. But most of all, I\'d need the help of Allah. All thanks be to Allah, praise be his sweet and blessed name."
   -- From "Dreams From my Father: The Unexpurgated Version THEY don\'t Want You To Read". By B. Obama Hussein, Forward By Jerome Corsi"

"Syphilis is the algebra of infection."

SGOS

Quote from: "rickcopeland648"What do you mean "going to"? Brother, they already did it. It's out on video now.
I better get a move on then.  Hell, it hasn't even shown up on Netflix new releases page.  Course, none do until the interesed core group of fans have finished renting them.  Or maybe they only have one disk to rent out.

QuoteThe Rick Copeland hopes they make the third part. He also hopes the last forty or so minutes consists solely of a radio playing a speech. Sweeeeeet...

I think I skipped the speech when I read the book.  I probably started it, but lost interest.  I vaguely remember a speech at the end of the book.  As I recall reading somewhere, Ayn Rand's publisher didn't want to put the speech in the book, but Rand threw a hissy fit, so he left it in.

the_antithesis

Atlas Shrugged Part III is set for release on July 4, 2014.

rickcopeland648

Quote from: "SGOS"I better get a move on then.

Yes you should. The first installment is required viewing for lovers of cheesey, bad movie making. The Rick Copeland is hoping the second is at least as good...

Quote from: "SGOS"I think I skipped the speech when I read the book.  I probably started it, but lost interest.  I vaguely remember a speech at the end of the book.  

Yeah, it's a pretty dull seventy page (?) speech that only beats the reader up with a point she had already made countess times thoughout the book. Kinda like the end of a He-Man episode where it wasn't enough for the silly moral to be obvious. At the end He-Man had to come out and tell the viewer to be themselves, or eat their greens, or some other shit.

Quote from: "SGOS"As I recall reading somewhere, Ayn Rand's publisher didn't want to put the speech in the book, but Rand threw a hissy fit, so he left it in.

And with those gapped teeth and bug eyes she was probably a sight to behold...
"It was then I understood my mission. I knew I must overthrow the white man and all he stood for. But that would not be easy. I would need the help from my organizing brothers and sisters. But most of all, I\'d need the help of Allah. All thanks be to Allah, praise be his sweet and blessed name."
   -- From "Dreams From my Father: The Unexpurgated Version THEY don\'t Want You To Read". By B. Obama Hussein, Forward By Jerome Corsi"

"Syphilis is the algebra of infection."

rickcopeland648

Quote from: "the_antithesis"Atlas Shrugged Part III is set for release on July 4, 2014.


Does it have the same cast as the second part or are they going to change it again? The Rick Copeland hopes they shit can everyone again and replace them with an all midget cast, or people with Down Syndrome. That would be amazing...
"It was then I understood my mission. I knew I must overthrow the white man and all he stood for. But that would not be easy. I would need the help from my organizing brothers and sisters. But most of all, I\'d need the help of Allah. All thanks be to Allah, praise be his sweet and blessed name."
   -- From "Dreams From my Father: The Unexpurgated Version THEY don\'t Want You To Read". By B. Obama Hussein, Forward By Jerome Corsi"

"Syphilis is the algebra of infection."