Jehovah's Witnesses Michael Jackson and Smurfs

Started by stromboli, June 02, 2015, 09:27:15 PM

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stromboli

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/daylightatheism/2009/11/jehovahs-witnesses-hate-the-smurfs/

QuoteIn the early 80′s, the primary preoccupations of the Jehovah’s Witnesses were Armageddon, Smurfs, Michael Jackson and demonic attack, but not necessarily in that order. As a young Jehovah’s Witness girl, my worldview was what you might describe as surreal. Smurfs were little blue imps disguised as Saturday morning cartoon characters. They were capable of murder, rape, violence and general mayhem, and, as such, all Smurf paraphernalia had to be either banished or burned or both from any respectable Jehovah’s Witness home. Armageddon was regarded with frenzied anticipation. We couldn’t wait for the bloodletting of the wicked to begin. Demons roamed the earth, along with Satan the Devil. They lurked behind every corner, literally, just waiting for an invitation to wreak havoc on one’s mind and body. And Michael Jackson was the subject of many rancorous sermons at the Kingdom Hall. Michael Jackson and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom replaced the Smurfs as the most blatant signs of the end times, the last days of this system of things.

I didn’t know whom Michael Jackson was when I began to hear his name breathlessly bandied about with great agitation and interspersed amongst the cautionary tales of Smurfs and demon-possessed antiques. I knew I didn’t have any of his tapes or records. I felt much relieved. When news of the Smurfs’ demonic nature had come to light, I had to rid my bedroom of Smurfs, and I wasn’t able to sleep for months thereafter. I was convinced I had inadvertently invited demons into my life.
Apparently there was something quite different about this Michael Jackson. He had been one of us. He had been a Jehovah’s Witness. This information blew my little mind. What?!? How could a Jehovah’s Witness do the horrible things the elders accused Michael Jackson of having done? How could someone abandon Jehovah God after having learned the truth? Was he demon possessed?
We were given explicit instructions in how to handle the Michael Jackson situation. He was definitely NOT a Jehovah’s Witness. We were told to deny him. A Jehovah’s Witness would not do the things he did. A Jehovah’s Witness is not merely someone who claims the identity. A Jehovah’s Witness must walk the walk, not just talk the talk. A Jehovah’s Witness demonstrates his identity via his behavior. Michael Jackson might have attended a few meetings. His mother might be a Jehovah’s Witness, but that did not make Michael Jackson a Jehovah’s Witness. Deny, deny, deny. We were read an official letter from the governing body of the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society in New York.

All of this commotion was very exciting and titillating. We had a betrayer in our midst. He was the purveyor of worldly sex and sin and demonic imagery. We secretly relished the notoriety and the attention his fame brought us. What good was it to be God’s chosen people, the only ones with the truth, to be better than everyone else, unless everyone else knew of our superiority? Battle lines were drawn. There was a fight to be had, in the public eye, in the center of a scandalous controversy. It was so delicious.
It was also a matter of life and death and demons. JWs love to whip themselves up into a veritable frenzy. They love to terrorize themselves and their children. Everything is a cosmic battle to the death between the forces of good and evil. Even Smurfs and Michael Jackson and Indiana Jones.


 

I provide these as a means of warding JW's from your door, like Wolfbane or Garlic.

You're welcome.

kilodelta

If this wasn't a real thing, it'd be a funny television series or cartoon.
Faith: pretending to know things you don't know