"When did you first notice that men were looking at you in a sexual way?"

Started by Valigarmander, April 12, 2015, 02:23:37 AM

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Mermaid

Quote from: Draconic Aiur on April 12, 2015, 08:10:34 AM
yes I read accounts. they were just looking and we all know how perverted oldmen can be
Okay, so let's just assume, for the sake of argument that we do know how perverted old men can be. Is this something that should be accepted as a rule then? Does this do any sort of damage to the girls in question? I'd like your perspective on that.
A cynical habit of thought and speech, a readiness to criticise work which the critic himself never tries to perform, an intellectual aloofness which will not accept contact with life’s realities â€" all these are marks, not as the possessor would fain to think, of superiority but of weakness. -TR

Gawdzilla Sama

Quote from: Mermaid on April 12, 2015, 08:08:35 AM
Apologies if I misinterpreted what you said, honestly. But that's how I read it. I take it I'm wrong? Can you clarify then?
If I look at you, how is the determination made as to whether I'm looking at you in a sexual way, as a possible mark for a confidence game, or with cannibalistic intent? In most cases it would be because you perceive me to be looking at you that way. You may be right, you may be wrong, but in either case you can't be sure.

And, premptively, I do not approve of looking at young girls in a "sexual manner". However, I'm a male, and I was in the Navy for 20 years, so I have looked at women in a manner that could be construed as "sexual", but I was never, ever aggressive with a woman. Just not my style.

BTW, I'm currently 64 years old and most of my "looks" are based on "what the hell are you wearing?"
We 'new atheists' have a reputation for being militant, but make no mistake  we didn't start this war. If you want to place blame put it on the the religious zealots who have been poisoning the minds of the  young for a long long time."
PZ Myers

Mermaid

Quote from: Gawdzilla Sama on April 12, 2015, 08:14:54 AM
If I look at you, how is the determination made as to whether I'm looking at you in a sexual way, as a possible mark for a confidence game, or with cannibalistic intent? In most cases it would be because you perceive me to be looking at you that way. You may be right, you may be wrong, but in either case you can't be sure.

And, premptively, I do not approve of looking at young girls in a "sexual manner". However, I'm a male, and I was in the Navy for 20 years, so I have looked at women in a manner that could be construed as "sexual", but I was never, ever aggressive with a woman. Just not my style.

BTW, I'm currently 64 years old and most of my "looks" are based on "what the hell are you wearing?"
Ok, thanks for that.

Do you think these women could have misinterpreting the intent of the men they are talking about when they were little girls then?


A cynical habit of thought and speech, a readiness to criticise work which the critic himself never tries to perform, an intellectual aloofness which will not accept contact with life’s realities â€" all these are marks, not as the possessor would fain to think, of superiority but of weakness. -TR

Gawdzilla Sama

Quote from: Mermaid on April 12, 2015, 08:19:15 AM
Ok, thanks for that.

Do you think these women could have misinterpreting the intent of the men they are talking about when they were little girls then?



I don't know, and neither does anyone else, including the person making the reports. That's the problem with polls like this. I agree that the issue should be discussed and am in no way trying to stifle the matter, but I do think we need to be accurate about the quality of the data, insofar as it's possible to be accurate with a poll. If it works out that this leads to a reduction in sexual predation of children then I'd be glad to give the pollsters a big hug and kiss.
We 'new atheists' have a reputation for being militant, but make no mistake  we didn't start this war. If you want to place blame put it on the the religious zealots who have been poisoning the minds of the  young for a long long time."
PZ Myers

Draconic Aiur

Quote from: Mermaid on April 12, 2015, 08:12:40 AM
Okay, so let's just assume, for the sake of argument that we do know how perverted old men can be. Is this something that should be accepted as a rule then? Does this do any sort of damage to the girls in question? I'd like your perspective on that.

if touch yes, if not no. It's totally natural.

Mermaid

Quote from: Draconic Aiur on April 12, 2015, 08:22:12 AM
if touch yes, if not no. It's totally natural.

I see.

Herein lies the issue. It's very hard not to get emotional about this sort of thing, but I urge you to stop and think about this. Why was that little girl afraid while in the dressing room? The man didn't touch her. Why was the young girl upset when the man blocked her path in the restaurant and talked to her in a sexual manner, and asked her mother if she had done something wrong? Is it damaging or upsetting for a girl or a woman to witness a man jerking off in front of her, such as the veterinarian described in the story above?

I think this is the crux of the issue here--that until people walk a mile in each other's shoes, they just do not see it.
A cynical habit of thought and speech, a readiness to criticise work which the critic himself never tries to perform, an intellectual aloofness which will not accept contact with life’s realities â€" all these are marks, not as the possessor would fain to think, of superiority but of weakness. -TR

Draconic Aiur

i didnt read anything about jerking in front of her or stalking. Al I saw were comments saying men looked at the girls in a sexual way.

Mermaid

A cynical habit of thought and speech, a readiness to criticise work which the critic himself never tries to perform, an intellectual aloofness which will not accept contact with life’s realities â€" all these are marks, not as the possessor would fain to think, of superiority but of weakness. -TR

Draconic Aiur

I read 20 of them anthe page is too long.  I say you are offended because I declare all people on earth are perverts and you want it just to be men

Mermaid

Quote from: Draconic Aiur on April 12, 2015, 08:37:58 AM
I read 20 of them anthe page is too long.  I say you are offended because I declare all people on earth are perverts and you want it just to be men
I'm sorry, what?

I am attempting to discuss what is in the OP. I am unclear on why you are participating if you don't care to read it and understand the context.
A cynical habit of thought and speech, a readiness to criticise work which the critic himself never tries to perform, an intellectual aloofness which will not accept contact with life’s realities â€" all these are marks, not as the possessor would fain to think, of superiority but of weakness. -TR

Draconic Aiur

"Ha! It reminds me of my first time in the context of this thread. A school mate came up to me - I was maybe 12/13 - and said point blank "I'm inviting you to my party because you have big boobs." I have no idea what I replied, but I remember the moment with utmost clarity. And.... I just realized I actually still kinda know the guy, peripherally. I wonder if he remembers that moment too?"

hes a pervert that likes boobs i like boobs lesbians like boobs gays like man boobs girls like boobs
everyone is a pervert

girls go crazy over little things like this. atleast you know hes attracted to the girl

Mermaid

Have you ever stopped to think about why "girls go crazy over 'little' things like this"?
Or ever considered that because YOU don't understand it, that doesn't make it a "little thing" that is unimportant or not valid? Your logic concerns me a great deal.
A cynical habit of thought and speech, a readiness to criticise work which the critic himself never tries to perform, an intellectual aloofness which will not accept contact with life’s realities â€" all these are marks, not as the possessor would fain to think, of superiority but of weakness. -TR

Solitary

I have always wondered why woman like men after knowing how men are. When I was 15 I was short and thin ice skating wearing Levis and my sister's white ice skates and red hooded jacket when a guy in his early thirties came behind me and put his arm around me and then grabbed my butt and asked me if I wanted to have a good time. I pulled the hood down and asked him what the fuck he was doing? He asked me why I had white ice skates on looking embarrassed. I asked him if he always does that to young girls, "you fucking pervert!" I'm a guy, and later in life I had a lesbian say I had a nice tush when I walked by her. I sat down by her and said, "nice hair!"  I was androgynous looking then with long hair and make up on my eyes. It was during the Glam Rock period. Solitary
There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.

PickelledEggs

I read a couple first lines of about 3 posts... and I don't think I can read through that. Too depressing.

stromboli

I grew up in a patriarchal society and a farm community where parents were often not home and children were left to their own devices. Girls raised in that environment are taught that looks are paramount and their sexuality-subliminally- makes them desirable. Some cultures like the U.S. version of Irish Travelers hold "fairs" where they essentially line girls up to be taken as brides to older men
http://www.irishcentral.com/news/irish-travellers-in-us-marry-young-girls-off-as-young-as-13-to-older-men-video-220166991-237770921.html

Not much different dressing girls up in Sunday finery and sending them to Mormon mutual to be ogled by the boys when in puberty. Girls are taught from a young age to dress up and look good for the boys at church and in school. And of course the FLDS and other polygamous groups that have arranged marriages and allow the marriage of younger women-hopefully of legal age- to much older men.

And I have heard stories after the fact of girls that were molested, sometimes by their own fathers or brothers.

I have stood in a group of Mormon elders and had them actually critique young girls and make comments like "wow, like to have that for a second wife" or "Boy, she bloomed early". Seriously. The patriarchal attitude is very real, even today. Professional Mormon women are wives and mothers first, even if they are bread winners third.

Just look at Mitt Romney and his family and realize he represents an ideal Mormon.