1 Year Out of Mormonism

[elconquistador]

(TL ; DR -----scroll down.)

Hey Everyone,

I know I haven't posted here in a long while but I just wanted to leave a sincere sentiment of graciousness to all those who had assisted me in posts and private messages. I truly just want to thank everyone who had reached out and gave me a hand of reassurance this past year.

Tomorrow will be my one year anniversary in leaving Mormonism. One year tomorrow I had attended church for the last time. I left those doors and never came back. I wrote my resignation letter to the church and rid my life of much unwanted superstition and guilt.

Yes, in fact this past year had been a year of trial and failure. Hurt and loss. Sickness and poor mental health. But after hospitals, therapy programs, loss of job, loss of friendship, near homelessness, loss of identity, and almost losing my life, my family, and my wife...I may stand with confidence and proclaim "I'm still kicking."

Now I am no longer under intensive medical care, my marriage is healing, and I am living with my mormon family who are quite amazing...though they are Mormon. A few more thoughts and question would definitely set my father on the clear road of agnosticism but at least he loves to use the sentence "You know what? I don't even know if the bible is true." That in itself is something to be happy about. My sister seems like she will soon leave the church. It pains me, though. One of two reasons: 1) I hope she is not leaving out of spite of my parents or because her big brother (me) left and 2) it really kills my mother to see me in disbelief and it hurts her to see another one of her children leave the ideological flock. But as long as she is doing it for the right reasons and to be happy then I am happy. Luckily, she is not as combative as I am or was. And luckily, things aren't very awkward. There is mutual respect.

But wow, this year was crazy. I'm so overwhelmed just thinking about it. So here are maybe a couple of thoughts that run around in my mind after this wild year:

1) To my astonishment and shameful embarrassment because of my past hostility, my family is a lot less Mormon than the shitty ass Mormons I was surrounded by when starting college. And to my joy, my family is a lot more liberal, anti-fundamental and less religious than their counter parts. I keep trying to explain to them this fact but they don't see it. So I tell them I am going to write a book titled "Why My Mormon Family is Better Than The Mormon Church."

2) Man, a shit load of terrible things were said by my family and myself. But this happens. Thankfully, was slightly aforementioned, my family is a whole lot reasonable and it's easy to consolidate and build healthy relationships when your mormon father loves using science to enhance doubtfulness in the bible. That's more than most atheist blacksheep can ask for.

3) Damn...you know..again...I'm just so damn lucky my parents are so much cooler than the asshole mormon populations of california.

4) Wow, most people from my generation don't care too much about religion and if they do, they definitely don't go to church to believe in Jesus. I think that's awesome. By all means, use Jesus to cure your fear and depression...I totally understand. I just prefer Marvel and DC. hehe.

5) It's almost baffling and damn near inspirational coming from a natural perspective of existence than a religious one.

6) I'm going to make a lot of atheists free thinkers angry when I say: belief isn't the problem with this world...religion is. But, they are mutually exclusive. One cannot exist without the either. Which is really sad. Theism is not terrible, just the men that seek to leverage that belief into profit.

7) It's amazing how much personality I am regaining as I contimue to dismantle my warped mormon perception. I had lost myself so much in religion, even more when I left home for college. It was devastating. I am happy to know I can be ME and nothing else...even as I am still discovering who ME is.

8) Since experiencing all the nonsense one experiences when leaving a societal structure, I believe the worst has past. Now I can focus on a few simple things: my marriage, my mental health, my physical health, my job, and my education. That is AMAZING. No more guilt and time wasted in something that truly does not matter.

9) Atheism is depressing for someone raised in a theistic lifestyle. Which is why I think most Christian are half assed believers, for them belief is more appetizing than disbelief. I'm like, when I left the church I left my networking opportunities, my social activities, my identity, and a welfare structure that would cover food if I ever did need it. It's great security living in belief and there is so much uncertainty in disbelief. I think much can be done to switch those realities. Secular Humanism might be that medium, I think I am going to invest a lot of time and effort in that as I get older. I think many people sit on the fence and it's a shame. The fence needs to be plowed or a gate secured for those needing to leave a destructive religion.

10) My favorite: anger. Being an angry atheist is important...covertly. There is no use arguing a philosophical argument that is already won by secular thought and cursing the religious. It's more important to use anger like Malcom X or Martin Luther King used it. Use tact and serious political activism to do so. Softening the atheist conversation does not mean giving in, it means taking a different perspective to better solution. Hostility will not win the religious and neither will logic and rational. Faith is not logic or rational...it's this silly little idea that believing in something makes people more hospitable. Atheism and secular opinion is hospitable, but the faithful cant see it. Public opinion must be swayed and it cannot be swayed through being an asshole all the time.

Anyways, I'm just happy to know that my life is my own and all I have to do is take care of my health, my wife, be kind, and do what make me happy...not what makes the mormon church happy.

TL ; DR: Basically I have had a shitty year coming out of mormonism. From sickness, to unemployment, to hospitals...I've done it all! But  gratefully I have had wonderful people on forums like this to help me through it. I've learned lots of things and I think I am better off at a happier life than I was a year ago. 2015 is my year. A year for good laughs, new friends, new accomplishments, and common human decency!

[Cocoa Beware]

I very much admire your strength and bravery if you dont mind me saying.

One of my least favorite aspects of religion is how faith tends to take precedent over family, which has the potential to needlessly and imo nonsensically strain relationships between family members, all too often to the tragic point of causing a separation. It sounds like you and your family have for the most part overcome that hurdle and I think thats the most important and positive thing. Since being open with your family has helped so far, perhaps talking to your sister about your concerns would be helpful.

Those who think ill of you are probably blind to such values to the point where I doubt they would have the wisdom to reconcile the matter if it was present in their own lives, so I doubt their opinions on the matter of your leaving the faith bear much consideration. They simply cant understand that religion offers nothing but a hopelessly subjective, therefore in all probability worthless, specific guideline on how life should be lived and theists are hopelessly oblivious to this.

[_Xenu_]

Some people here don't really grasp the difference between a cult and a religion, but I do. Coming from something like Mormonism requires alot more mental deprogramming than other faiths. When you were younger, you were likely taught to become a copy of certain leaders instead of developing on your own. I'm sure its quite liberating.

[Solitary]

You are a great inspiration for others that think they can't leave churches behind. Bravo!    Take care of yourself and family!  It takes guts to let go of a security blanket and seek the truth. Any time you need a little help from your friends, let us know! I never had to leave a Church, or church, but what I have read from others here, it can't be easy, but nothing in life that is worth anything is easy. Solitary