Rudolph is a recovering addict...........NSFW or kids.

[Brian37]

Yea little known fact. He has cleaned himself up. But here is the original song that was scrapped and revised while he was in rehab.

Rudolph the coke nose reindeer
Had a very bloody nose
His cartilage disintegrated
From snorting all the blow


All of the other reindeer
Stole poor Rudolph's stash
Snorted all the blow
And threw the zip lock in the trash

Then one feaming winter's eve
Rudolph needed a fix
He shouted "where the hell's my fucking coke"
So they gave him a baking soda mix

Rudolph started to snort it
Not knowing what it was
Then he tried to go out flying
Without his usual buzz

That damned sleigh
Started losing altitude
Santa exclaimed "What the fuck?
That was rather rude"

All of the other reindeer
Were impaled upon a tree
Rudolph adamantly shouted
"NEVER FUCK WITH ME!"
(END)

But he got help and is now sober.

[stromboli]

So Rudolph was this outcast with a hideous deformity that was ridiculed by all his peers, until it was discovered that his deformity was actually a super power, and then Santa utilized it and all the other tiny reindeer to pull his ginormous sleigh packed with tons of presents for horrendous distances over long hours, while the elves he keeps in bondage have one (1) night of rest before returning to their labors. And Santa himself apparently sits around in front of a toasty fire smoking his pipe (packed with what we are never told) while the elves labor ceaselessly in their sweat shop while Mrs. Claus, apparently herself made "jolly" by what means we know not, is baking cookies and sweets in her own private hell. 

Yup, sounds like a story torn out of  pre-industrial revolution America.

[Solitary]

  Well, now we know why his nose was red. 

[FieryLocks]

[FieryLocks]

"Where's my coke fat man...I know you took it!"

[FieryLocks]

Looks like the Heat Miser has the same problem