Religion in a nutshell

[Hydra009]

Try lobster, it's good!

"Try some, you'll love it.  I promise."
"You don't like it?!  What's wrong with you?!!"
"Lobster makes our lives complete!"
"Our nation was founded on Lobster."
"Non-Lobster meat is forbidden here by law."
"That town a couple miles away is just crazy about Crab.  Those people are lunatics."
"Maybe you like Lobster and you just don't know it."
"Are you coming out for the Lobster Day parade?"
"Maybe you like Lobster but you don't want to admit it."
"Did you know that eating Lobster regularly cures cancer?"
"Maybe your dead grandmother just didn't eat enough Lobster?"
"Of course Lobster is the best.  It says right here in my book, entitled Lobster Is The Best."
"You prefer crab??!"
"You prefer fish??!"
"You prefer chicken??!"
"You're a vegetarian??!  Why do you hate Lobster-eaters so much???"

MAYBE BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE ABOUT IT!  

And also because you represent everything I despise in humanity.   If you people actually knew how you sound, you'd be ashamed.

[NitzWalsh]

Thanks, now I want lobster.

[St Giordano Bruno]

Lobster cures cancer!!!!, well that is one claim to fame crabs can't deliver with their strong association with the word "Cancer" in a certain star constellation.

[WitchSabrina]

...but...but.... some people are allergic.   :shock:

[widdershins]

...but...but.... some people are allergic.   :shock:

Being allergic to lobster is a choice, not something you're born with.

[Hydra009]

Being allergic to lobster is a choice, not something you're born with.

Exactly.  And it's a lie concocted by vegetarian scientists to suppress Lobsterism.

I run a camp where so-called "allergic" people are put on a strict diet of Lobster.  Some have rashes and swelling, but only because they haven't yet cleansed their palates and fully embraced the light of Lobsterism.  In time, that'll go away and they'll be released as normal citizens with stories about how their lives were terrible before Lobsterism and now they're happy and healthy.

[WitchSabrina]

Being allergic to lobster is a choice, not something you're born with.

Exactly.  And it's a lie concocted by vegetarian scientists to suppress Lobsterism.

I run a camp where so-called "allergic" people are put on a strict diet of Lobster.  Some have rashes and swelling, but only because they haven't yet cleansed their palates and fully embraced the light of Lobsterism.  In time, that'll go away and they'll be released as normal citizens with stories about how their lives were terrible before Lobsterism and now they're happy and healthy.

Ah yes...... even the allergic can be rehabilitated.  Why didnt I think of that?
*hangs head in shame*

[stromboli]

And of course the onus of Lobster Thermadorists, who persecute all other forms of nutrition and force lobster on their children and society at large. The horror.

[Mathias]

I think that "rehabilitated" is wrong. The allergic ones are possessed by horned shrimp and need an exorcism!!!

[widdershins]

I think that "rehabilitated" is wrong. The allergic ones are possessed by horned shrimp and need an exorcism!!!

A very good point.  Only a demon shrimp could make them willingly reject lobster.

[Thumpalumpacus]

I think you assholes are all being shellfish.

[SGOS]

Yummm... Lobster!  It's like pizza for rich people.

[Zatoichi]

May you be pinched by his briney claw, and anointed in drawn butter, my child.

[widdershins]

I think you assholes are all being shellfish.

Hey, we're only speaking truth.  You know it's truth because I said it was.  It's self-affirming.

[mnmelt]

You DO realize that Lobsterism is funded by Big Iodine corps??!!!