Confessions: When will my deconversion be complete?

[AllPurposeAtheist]

I don't know that anyone ever has an AHAH moment then all the bullshit we once bought into just magically goes away and  *DING* deconverted. I kind of liken it to as a kid the day before my birthday I sort of expected to hear a *DING* I'M 9 NOW! But of course it never happens and the *DING* I'M DECONVERTED never really happens..

[the_antithesis]

There was a sense of innocence that went away for me, when I left faith. Innocence might not be the best word to describe this, but it's the best I can muster right now.

Funny thing about innocence. It doesn't last.

Children have a bad habit of growing up.

[AllPurposeAtheist]

There's a very fine line, OK, not so fine between innocent and buying just any old dumb shit someone tells you.

[Mequa]

I have read this blog of yours on another forum Deidre, and find I still very moving and sincere.

You really seem to express and articulate your deepest emotions well, and in a very genuine way. Your articulating your very human yearning for comfort, expressions of sincere grief, and expressing your vulnerability, is very brave and courageous in my assessment. 

Atheism is not mandatory, at the end of the day follow your own heart and mind and "stay true to you". I am really glad you can process the often difficult emotions which can come with abandoning the comfort blanket of faith.

Like I said though in all sincerity, I would have no problems accepting you if you did decide to revert to theism, although I get the sense that atheism is mostly where you are at now. Either way, such ideological divisions can be petty when they come between people.

For me this does bring home the tragic nature of the human condition, how we ultimately all face death alone and yearn to be loved and accepted as we are, as we struggle against an often hostile and harsh world. Faith is just a crutch some people rely on to deal with the human condition. It is quite tragic when you really think about it. For such reasons I prefer to be tactful when dealing with the private faith of others.

I find it helpful to share thoughts and ideas with like-minded individuals, personally.

[stromboli]

To me, getting the message was more like living in a book where everything was dimly lit and everyone was pointing you in different directions, then you finally figured out you were in a cave and stepped outside to see daylight in the last chapter. Not an "ah ha!" moment, but a realization of the truth. Religion is something you do en masse, a common experience. Atheism is a personal realization arrived at independently.

What makes it difficult is that there are so many commonalities in human experience that can be expressed different ways. Spirituality is no less real to me in the wilderness seeing a beautiful sunrise than in a church experiencing what I thought was the holy spirit. You give it a different slant it becomes a different thing. I think now of spirituality as a sense of harmony with nature and the universe, an innate understanding of the deep processes involved in creating life and growing. In nature it is there for you, a living and breathing thing you can partake in. My wife has often asked to say longer when camping, because the peace we feel there is so much more desirable than the reality we go back to.

Atheism isn't just a realization but also a casting off, getting rid of; like stepping on the scale and seeing you are ten pounds lighter. Another weight you aren't carrying any more.

[stromboli]

                                                                                           


This is my cathedral.