I never Knew Jesus H. Christ Had So Many Names

Started by Solitary, October 17, 2014, 07:08:39 PM

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Solitary

Names of Jesus Christ

    Advocate
    Almighty
    Almighty God
    Alpha and Omega
    Amen, The
    Ancient of Days
    Anointed
    Anointed One
    Author
    Author of Eternal Salvation
    Beginning
    Beginning and the Ending
    Begotten
    Beloved
    Beloved Son
    Beloved Son of God
    Blessed of God
    Bread of Life
    Bridegroom
    Bright and Morning Star
    Captain of Man's Salvation
    Captain of Our Salvation
    Carpenter
    Carpenter's Son
    Chief Cornerstone
    Chosen
    Chosen of God
    Christ
    Christ Child
    Christ of God
    Christ the Lamb
   Jesus the Son of God
    Comforter
    Consolation of Israel
    Cornerstone
    Counselor
    Creator
    Creator of All Things
    Deliverer
    Divine Son
    Door of the Sheep
    Emmanuel
    End of the Law
    Endless
    Eternal
    Eternal Father
    Eternal God
    Eternal Head
    Eternal Judge
    Eternal Judge of Quick and Dead
    Everlasting Father
    Example
    Exemplar
    Faithful and True
    Father
    Father of Heaven and Earth
    Finisher
    Finisher of faith
    First and the Last
    Firstborn
    First fruits
    Forerunner
    God
    God of Abraham
    God of Isaac
    God of Israel
    God of Jacob
    God of Thy Father
    God of Whole Earth
    God's Anointed
    God's Holy Child Jesus
    Good Shepherd
    Governor
    Great I AM
    Great God
    Great Shepherd
    Head of Every Man
    Head of the Body
    Head of the Church
    Healer
    Heir of All Things
    Holy
    Holy Child
    Holy Messiah
    Holy One
    Holy One of Israel
    Holy One of Jacob
    I AM
    Image of God
    Immanuel
    Jehovah
    Jesus
    Jesus Christ
    Jesus of Galilee
    Jesus of Nazareth
    Joseph's Son
    Judge
     Judge of Quick and Dead
    Just One
    Just, The
    King
    King of Israel
    King of Kings
    King of Zion/Sion
    King of the Jews
    Lamb
    Lamb of God
    Life, the
    Light of the World
    Light, the
    Lion of the Tribe of Judah
    Living Bread
    Living Stone
    Living Water
    Lord
    Lord from Heaven
    Lord God
    Lord God Almighty
    Lord God of Hosts
    Lord Jehovah
    Lord Jesus
    Lord of All
    Lord of Dead
    Lord of Glory
    Lord of Hosts
    Lord of Living
    Lord of Lords
    Lord of the Sabbath
    Lord Omnipotent
    Lord our Righteousness
    Lord's Christ
    Maker
    Man of Counsel
    Man of Holiness
    Master
    Mediator
    Meek and Lowly
    Messenger of the Covenant
    Messiah
    Messias
    Mighty God
    Mighty One
    Mighty One of Israel
    Mighty One of Jacob
    Minister
    Most High God
    Nazarene
    Offspring of David
    One Body
    Only Begotten
    Only Begotten of the Father
    Only Begotten Son
    Our Passover
    Physician
    Power of God
    Prince
    Prince of Life
    Prince of Peace
    Prophet
    Prophet of Nazareth
    Propitiation for Sins of Whole World
    Rabbi
    Redeemer
    Redeemer of Israel
    Redeemer of the World
    Resurrection and the Life
    Revealer
    Righteous Judge
    Righteous Man
    Rock, the
    Rock of Heaven
    Root of Jesse
    Sacrifice, the
    Savior
    Savior of Israel
    Savior of the World
    Second Comforter
    Seed of Abraham
    Seed of David
    Seed of the Woman
    Servant of Jehovah
    Servant of the Lord
    Shepherd
    Son
    Son of Abraham
    Son of David
    Son of God
    Son of Man
    Son of Mary
    Son of Righteousness
    Son of the Blessed
    Son of the Eternal Father
    Son of the Everlasting God
    Son of the Highest
    Son of the Living God
    Son of the Most High God
    Spiritual Rock
    Stem of Jesse
    Teacher Come from God
    True Vine
    Truth, the
    Unchangeable One
    Way, the
    Well Beloved
    Wisdom of God
    Wonderful
    Word of Life
    Word, the
    Worthy

Now, how does anyone know this, when nothing is written about him until 40-60 after his death?  :wall: :madu:
There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.

stromboli

Wall of text in one liners. I think that's a record.........

Mike Cl

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?<br />Then he is not omnipotent,<br />Is he able but not willing?<br />Then whence cometh evil?<br />Is he neither able or willing?<br />Then why call him god?

AllPurposeAtheist

His cousin Jesus F Christ has never really caught on in the name game thing..  I guess it's tough with a middle name like Fucking..
All hail my new signature!

Admit it. You're secretly green with envy.

Mike Cl

Quote from: AllPurposeAtheist on October 17, 2014, 09:38:01 PM
His cousin Jesus F Christ has never really caught on in the name game thing..  I guess it's tough with a middle name like Fucking..
From the Uncyclopedia

Jesus Fucking Christ
Jfc

Jesus Fucking Christ, who else?
Kusogod

You think this shit is going stop me!
Jesus Fucking Christ was the expression Mary reputedly used while giving birth to the rather fat baby boy who was to become Our Lord. At 14lbs 4oz (2.3 metric tonnes) young JC was about the size of a bowling ball and by all accounts it was not an easy birth. It just so happened that during the birth the Census Taker passed through Bethlehem, and as he put his head through the stable door and asked, "Give me your names, Jew scum!" Mary had a particularly agonising contraction, so "Mary, Joseph and Jesus Fucking Christ" was what the guy wrote. Little did he know that the baby would grow up to be a major pain in the ass for the region's governor Pontius Pilates.
Formative Years

Little is known about Jesus's youth- and for good reason. The boy was an infernal nuisance and seemed destined for a life of crime. He was always getting into trouble, and "Jesus Fucking Christ- if I catch Thee pinching stuff from my stall once more I'll crucify Thee!" was a commonly heard refrain down at the marketplace.
As Jesus grew, he got into more and more trouble, and the refrain became "Jesus Fucking Christ, get Thee away from my daughter/son/ass/concubine/cripple/leper!"
Jesus soon came to the notice of the Roman authorities, and it came as little surprise to anyone when at 16 He was arrested for bank robbery. His defence, "I was only overturning the moneylenders' tables, Roman donkeyfucker!" fell on deaf ears and Jesus was given 15 years hard labour.
The Prison Years

Banished to a distant province, Jesus was popular with the other inmates for His spirit (see Holy Spirit) which seemed unbreakable, and for His cocky abuse of the Roman guards. Even the guards themselves came grudgingly to admire the plucky lad, and it was said that they were gentler when bumming Him than with any of the other prisoners.
While in prison Jesus got the idea of starting a major religious cult from a failed prophet called The Great Steve, who it was said had once counted princes among his flock. Jesus was a clever lad and knew He could learn from The Great Steve's mistakes. As soon as He was released, he set out for Galilee- and the rest, as they say, is history.
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?<br />Then he is not omnipotent,<br />Is he able but not willing?<br />Then whence cometh evil?<br />Is he neither able or willing?<br />Then why call him god?

stromboli

I read the list. Motherfucker ain't on there anywhere.......