Herd Mentality

[Deidre32]

I lost a few Christian "friends" who dumped me after I "left their herd." It hurt to know that our friendship was only in existence because we had religion in common. :( I don't know if I've ever intentionally pushed someone out of my life because he/she didn't share my values/beliefs.

[stromboli]

I lost a few Christian "friends" who dumped me after I "left their herd." It hurt to know that our friendship was only in existence because we had religion in common. :( I don't know if I've ever intentionally pushed someone out of my life because he/she didn't share my values/beliefs.

Lol, shoulda been there when I left the mormon church. I said hi to a guy I had gone to church with for 8 years and he looked away like I didn't exist. You can imagine what it did to my wife. I joined a Christian church as much to give her a new set of peers as anything else. This is religion- anyone who leaves the fold is suddenly diseased, in the old term a pariah. I've always been a loner and outsider, so I can wear that as a badge, but my wife is much more gregarious than I am. It was tough, but we survived.

[AllPurposeAtheist]

Just go with the flow.. It always works out..

[Mike Cl]

Lol, shoulda been there when I left the mormon church. I said hi to a guy I had gone to church with for 8 years and he looked away like I didn't exist. You can imagine what it did to my wife. I joined a Christian church as much to give her a new set of peers as anything else. This is religion- anyone who leaves the fold is suddenly diseased, in the old term a pariah. I've always been a loner and outsider, so I can wear that as a badge, but my wife is much more gregarious than I am. It was tough, but we survived.

Nothing that dramatic for me.  I married (second marriage) a recovering catholic.  Because of the battering I took from my first marriage, I felt I needed some 'spiritual'  uplifting.  So, we joined the Unity church--after awhile my wife became the board president; I did too about 6 years later.  Both of us grew weary of the 'christian' crap we had to endure, and so just quit going.  Lucky for me my wife felt the same.  My wife is also much more gregarious than I am; but in this area we see pretty much the same thing.  But I find I will endure things for her that I will not for anybody else.

[the_antithesis]

I remember back in high school, when everyone was concerned with conforming and being accepted.

Is that what I was supposed to be doing?

Interestingly, I've noticed this same behavior where I work, in occasional social settings, and online. So, I decided to a little research, and apparently...''herd mentality'' is a survival tactic and a rather 'natural' human behavior. This author of this article suggested that as humans, we wish to be accepted by our peers, our communities, and our co-workers. Okay, I get that. But, suppose the herd is a bunch of douche bags? Suppose the herd is full of bullies, and people who, if you dissent from the herd, will shun you? So, a person should merely go along with the herd, for survival? To be liked? To be accepted?

You seem to forget just how stupid human beings are. We're really fucking dumb and tend to do what's easiest. What's easiest is following our biological impulses, including following the crowd, even when it's to lynch a negro or beat up a fag.

Humans are quite terrible and don't like to think about what they're doing.

[MattMVS7]

To me, I find that life is about your own path and strength and not caring about anything negative anyone has to say about you.

[Deidre32]

Lol, shoulda been there when I left the mormon church. I said hi to a guy I had gone to church with for 8 years and he looked away like I didn't exist. You can imagine what it did to my wife. I joined a Christian church as much to give her a new set of peers as anything else. This is religion- anyone who leaves the fold is suddenly diseased, in the old term a pariah. I've always been a loner and outsider, so I can wear that as a badge, but my wife is much more gregarious than I am. It was tough, but we survived.

yes, I know that feeling you both had...it makes me sad, still. Because I thought they were such good friends. We were always there for each other, but now I realize they only cared for me because I was a Christian. :(

[Deidre32]

To me, I find that life is about your own path and strength and not caring about anything negative anyone has to say about you.

I agree. But, it can be hard to feel rejected, perhaps is the word I'm looking for? But, I'd rather suffer that I suppose, than stay where I don't really agree with the herd, but am doing so to avoid rejection, if that makes sense. Life's probably simpler than we make it. lol

[Deidre32]

Is that what I was supposed to be doing?

You seem to forget just how stupid human beings are. We're really fucking dumb and tend to do what's easiest. What's easiest is following our biological impulses, including following the crowd, even when it's to lynch a negro or beat up a fag.

Humans are quite terrible and don't like to think about what they're doing.

True to some degree, but not all humans follow the herd even if it costs them a lot. I'm reminded of the movie Schindler's List...and other great examples of powerful people who were part of their respective herds, and risked a lot to break free from them.

(I don't know how to multi quote here, I don't see a feature? Sorry for all the posts, everyone) lol

[the_antithesis]

True to some degree, but not all humans follow the herd even if it costs them a lot. I'm reminded of the movie Schindler's List...and other great examples of powerful people who were part of their respective herds, and risked a lot to break free from them.

Yes, there are a few aberrations. It usually doesn't work out for them.

[AllPurposeAtheist]

If it comes to burning at the stake then, well...MOOOOOO! BAAAAAAAAAH!

[agnostic]

Personally, I've never felt the need to be part of the herd, although at one point I was a bit of an attention seeker (although I still wasn't a herd seeker) if that makes sense.