Believers got us dead to rights, lets give up.

[AllPurposeAtheist]

I was promised eternal life, but the kicker did it for me.. I'd have to die first..  That's like Warren Buffet promising to give his fortune just as soon as you die and it's non transferable to anyone else..

[stromboli]

Nuwaubianism. Created by a guy named Dwight. You can't go wrong.

[Brian37]

Come on guys! Admit it, we became atheists after we found out that babies taste great when barbecued. 

You sick fuck, who the hell eats babies? Barbecue kittens are what "true(copywrite trademark) atheists" eat.

[AllPurposeAtheist]

You sick fuck, who the hell eats babies? Barbecue kittens are what "true(copywrite trademark) atheists" eat.

I'm compelled by my Toothfairian faith to point out a true atheist would have the © symbol on their keyboard.. Not only that, but the â,,¢ AND ® as well.  To be fair it's not actually on my keyboard. I had to switch to my Atheistic Android© phone to put that there..