Sorry about that, to further elaborate I will tell you about myself so you guys can further understand. I think I have been questioning my own faith for the past month now. This may be a little long.
I live in a place where there is church on every corner , "Have a blessed day" is a greet and random people invite you to their church 10 minutes after meeting you. Admittedly, I didn't go to church as a "good christian" should have but, I was definitely the type they prayed everyday and wanted to better myself an be "Christ-like".
Anyway my best friend of 15 years was raised very sheltered in a fundamentalist christian family, she told me she was scared I was going to hell just because I said I wasn't opposed to same-sex marriage since I think government and religion should be separate. Then she kept saying all these homophobic things and telling me that I should hate and judge others because God does. I had never in my life had a conversation with her like this before and it made me rethink my own religion. Then weeks later she was questioning if I really believed in the bible and she said I needed to get saved. I then said that I had been questing that for weeks now. Her response was that college classes can cause turn away from God and that I should come to her church. Her dad has this very cult-like church service held in their living room which is why I tried to avoid it but, I eventually agreed.
The house church started off normal and I thought "This isn't so bad" but, it was 4 hours long and her father went on some weird racist rant on how [insert race here] had sodomite demons in them and he said as a child that all the men of that race looked gay to him . Then he passed around this paper about this prophecy that he had of the Apocalypse starting in 2 years. Although my brother and parents are Christians they warned me not to go there. Going to her dad's church didn't make it any better to me.
Anyway, I feel like I have been going through depression. I had been reading parts the bible more and comparing it to other stories written before it and the similarities. I've been reading scientific and historical findings and comparing them. At 20 years old I am seeking what the truth is and what makes more sense. I hope it all made sense to everyone lol.
