Opinions about Children

[Shol'va]

I'm confused.  On one hand you say "you can have a kid and THEN decide to become infertile" but on the other you say you shouldn't do it the other way around.  That seems to be a bit biased to the decision of having children as opposed to deciding early that you don't want them.

Let me first say that none of what I am saying is intended to judge your decision. I definitely respect it and the fact that you've figured out so early that you definitely do not want to have kids. I'm just offering my personal perspective.
No, my reasoning isn't biased to the decision of having children, but rather it takes into account what I've already mentioned, the fact that our views on the subject of kids changes with age.

So as long as I HAVE a child then it is okay for me to become infertile from there?

That's not what I'm saying. What I was saying was that personally I would not have a vasectomy in my twenties or worse, my teens. I'm not saying "have a kid THEN have a vasectomy", I was saying "wait a bit more".
So this was never about "never become infertile before having a kid".

Opting out of children leaves you with the option to go back.

If this statement also includes sterliziation, then I am all for it.
Since you've had the procedure done, I'm sure you know more. In males, what is the rate of successful reversal overall? What are the risks and complications and to what extent do they present themselves?
My understanding is that, especially for women, some of the ways to become sterile are pretty irreversible.

Since contraceptives frequently fail because no one is perfect and because there are some shady people out there

Speaking of shady people, snipped or not I'd still wear a condom, no?

[Naru]

My girlfriend and I both want to have one child then we will cut the cord.

[Munch]

Maybe its just the asshole in me, but even with my nephews, when I watch them play, more often whats going through my head is how its like being in an chimp cage at the zoo, seeing how chimps behave with one-another, its so similar to that, and makes me debate on how far evolved as a species we a really are. I feel like I should document them.

Something else, I dunno what anyones opinion of this but would like to hear, was a situation that occurred yesterday when I was with my mum helping to babysit my new nephews. First, my older nephew whose 4 wanted toast for lunch, but being a kid he was impatient and while it was doing he came into the kitchen and went to touch the toaster, right away my mum yelled out for him to stop, but he already touched it and withdrew, and started to cry, both because it hurt and because mum yelled out, causing him to run out into the garden and sit out their crying in a ball. Mum tried to coddle him after.

When later on when my brother came to pick his kids up, my older nephew saw his 2 year old brother heading for the front door, which was locked, but he assumed his brother was going to escape, so he got it in his head to grab his little brothers top and hold him, dragging him from the door, causing a massive screaming fit between them, leading to their dad yelling at the older one for being so heavy handed, and that its up to him (my brother) what to do with this, not him (my nephew), despite always being told that he's the older brother and he has to look after his little brother.

Anyway, to sum up the point, my brother is a very heavy handed man who dominates his household with his rules, and even tries to enforce them on others to comply with his life, you break any of his rules and he pops a blood vessel, so of course if any of his kids do not follow what he says, its punishment or belittling time, Where as my mum is so soft touch with my nephews, she'll always coddle them every moment she can.

Now I'm a believer in balance, you can't have one thing without a consequence coming from it, and you need to balance the good and bad in all situations. I personally believe if my brother were to tone his attitude down with his kids not following the rules all the time, and my mum was a bit more firm with her rules, it might be a better situation.

Its like if you try to be overprotective of children their entire lives, keeping them from being in any dangerous situation, never experiencing pain or loss or fear, then they are not going to be prepared for it when they grow up, and that'll cause more problems later. However I also believe you shouldn't just make soldiers out of kids and coddle them all the time, just let them be kids and don't bring down a military attitude on them, it'll fuck them up just as much as keeping from from all dangers will.

[ParaGoomba Slayer]

So adopting a kid from the same country as yours is also xenophobic?

No. But it's xenophobic to disregard adoption as a whole because the child wouldn't share your 'blood' or genes or whatever. That the child would be someone else's and not really yours. Perhaps xenophobic isn't the right word.

[Hijiri Byakuren]

No. But it's xenophobic to disregard adoption as a whole because the child wouldn't share your 'blood' or genes or whatever. That the child would be someone else's and not really yours. Perhaps xenophobic isn't the right word.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2y8Sx4B2Sk

[Munch]

For what its worth, I hold great respect for people who adopt. It takes a special kind of person who wants to willingly take children into their lives not by accident like some people do when they have sex and pop one out, but for those actually wanting children and to raise them.
likewise to gay couples who can't have children the conventional way, and do so with surrogates.

[CarlyRoxanne]

I'm a 32 year old woman and I have 2 stepchildren but will never have a child of my own. I suffer from depression and extreme anxiety and get overwhelmed very easily. I know I couldn't handle it, and my husband supports and agrees with my decision. I know people think I am selfish and I couldn't give a fuck less.

[CarlyRoxanne]

I know people who believe that it's basically your obligation to reproduce. It's not for everyone, people are different, and  that's the problem with these people. They want everyone to think like them. And they will use shaming, manipulation and lies if necessary and think nothing of it. I live in Southern Arkansas and I have been exposed to so much willful ignorance it makes me sick. I've told people I don't plan on having a baby and the same people will ask me just a few months later when we're finally going to have "a little one." I guess they think if they nag me enough, I'll change my mind. Sorry for the rant, but the people where I live are horrible. No exaggeration.

[Munch]

I know people who believe that it's basically your obligation to reproduce. It's not for everyone, people are different, and  that's the problem with these people. They want everyone to think like them. And they will use shaming, manipulation and lies if necessary and think nothing of it. I live in Southern Arkansas and I have been exposed to so much willful ignorance it makes me sick. I've told people I don't plan on having a baby and the same people will ask me just a few months later when we're finally going to have "a little one." I guess they think if they nag me enough, I'll change my mind. Sorry for the rant, but the people where I live are horrible. No exaggeration.

I hear you. The mind of baby boomers and child worshipers is something people like you or me get faced with often, of course though well I have the advantage of being gay and so not able to have a baby unless in very special circumstances or adoption, I still hear from all the baby worshipers how amazing children are like its some form of drug.
I never even realized before having to be invested in a portion of kids lives that I not only didn't want to have children, but I flat out don't like them, which compared to my mother is the polar opposite, she's always loved children, her own and other peoples, and while I'm very thankful for having a mother who did love and still loves her children, I don't want it being something expected of me to follow.

My cousins the same, who moved away from where the family all lives around, she meet a guy, and decided she never wanted kids of her own, and is perfectly happy. People have every right to have children if they can look after them, love them and get a joy form raising them. But for those of us who don't want kids and never want to raise them, I wish they would tone it the fuck down in telling us how amazing kids are.

I mean I think gay porn is amazing and the idea of having an orgy with 7 guys would be the greatest thing ever, but I'm not going to talk about this with these baby boomers, that would be considered' taboo' with them, so I'd appreciate the subject of kids around me to be taboo as well. 

[AllPurposeAtheist]

My son won't have kids because his SO had her baby making parts removed so instead he gets to play papa to her two criminal sons who are both in and out of prison on the revolving credit plan. The weird part is that my son is really great around kids and they're attracted to him and he would probably be a great father, but he doesn't want to do it.  Her kids were already in and out of juvenile justice system when they meet so I can't blame my son for that. Their natural father is a criminal..
I don't have a problem with people who opt out of parenthood, but do have a problem with the asswipes who think getting as many females as possible pregnant and think they shouldn't take responsibility for where they put their dicks then brag about all the kids they don't care for and all their 'baby mamas'..  I'd have zero problems locking them up the rest of their natural born lives.

[Munch]

My son won't have kids because his SO had her baby making parts removed so instead he gets to play papa to her two criminal sons who are both in and out of prison on the revolving credit plan. The weird part is that my son is really great around kids and they're attracted to him and he would probably be a great father, but he doesn't want to do it.  Her kids were already in and out of juvenile justice system when they meet so I can't blame my son for that. Their natural father is a criminal..
I don't have a problem with people who opt out of parenthood, but do have a problem with the asswipes who think getting as many females as possible pregnant and think they shouldn't take responsibility for where they put their dicks then brag about all the kids they don't care for and all their 'baby mamas'..  I'd have zero problems locking them up the rest of their natural born lives.

oh christmas I could tell you so many stories from my family of this same thing. My cousin has been married 3 times, with more men then that, and her first husband was a drug dealing asshole, whos first son with her he never even acknowledged existed, and as a result the kid himself became a drug dealer and member of a gang. At least his brother became a decent human being.
But then when he, my cousins oldest son, became old enough he did the exact same thing, had kids and fucked girls without a care, and the two women who had his kids were just as fucked up as he was, so both of the children born from this little shits fucking around ended up being adopted by my cousin, there own grandmother, because it was the only 'stable' home that could be offered to him.
And just to make matters more complicated, my cousin had a third son, who is the same age as his own nephews..

yeah... getting your head round that.. *facedesk*

[aitm]

 

nice, do the two older ones like candy?   

[stromboli]

My son won't have kids because his SO had her baby making parts removed so instead he gets to play papa to her two criminal sons who are both in and out of prison on the revolving credit plan. The weird part is that my son is really great around kids and they're attracted to him and he would probably be a great father, but he doesn't want to do it.  Her kids were already in and out of juvenile justice system when they meet so I can't blame my son for that. Their natural father is a criminal..
I don't have a problem with people who opt out of parenthood, but do have a problem with the asswipes who think getting as many females as possible pregnant and think they shouldn't take responsibility for where they put their dicks then brag about all the kids they don't care for and all their 'baby mamas'..  I'd have zero problems locking them up the rest of their natural born lives.

My oldest son married a woman with a child who had an irresponsible father- a foreigner no longer in the US. She, as a single mother, raised him responsibly and he is a fine young boy. My son took to him and has since adopted him. Yesterday watched him at Soccer, where he excels. He has some learning disabilities but my son is patient with him and he has grown and gained confidence in himself and is now a very outgoing and responsible young man in his own right.  We are all now expecting a new grandchild, quite happily. Responsibility is a big word. I'm fortunate my kids learned it, and applied it to their lives.

[Mike Cl]

Children should be seen and not heard.  No, wait---they should be be neither seen nor heard.  No, wait.........they should all be sent to an island somewhere, and be allowed to enter society at age 30--if they survive.

[Munch]

Children should be seen and not heard.  No, wait---they should be be neither seen nor heard.  No, wait.........they should all be sent to an island somewhere, and be allowed to enter society at age 30--if they survive.

Actually I was thinking they could invent a biokenetic gel and suspend children in capsules, and in there have imagiry feed to there minds about growing up, childhood, school, knowledge and all that, and when age 20 they get to be released into the world.
This would solve so many problems, no more tragic child deaths to disease or accidents with scissors, no more adults dying due to stress because of raising children, no need to pay out excessive funds on pointless crappy toys for them they'd throw away in a year or so after, and because of the false memories, they will all grow up in a happy environment until they face the cruel cold world.

Ah.. I love the matrix.