Author Topic: The True Story Behind Adam and Eve  (Read 1329 times)

Offline Raven (OP)

The True Story Behind Adam and Eve
« on: July 15, 2014, 03:48:09 AM »
Adam and Eve were sitting in the garden. “Damn it, the sun is burning my genitals” Adam said and he wrapped an apron of fig leaves around his waist. Eve, never having an opinion of her own, did the same. Then they went for a walk.

Halfway they came across a snake. Before the animal could utter a word - which would have been odd anyhow - Adam grabbed the snake and bit its head off. “There” he said. “Here, have an apple for dessert” Eve suggested.

God, apparently rather fond of his apples, got furious and commanded: “Get out of my garden you two! Adam you are going to work for the rest of your life, and Eve you are going to bear children”.

Naturally this wasn't much to their liking. Yet after a long debate on whether they had free will or not, they conceded to the judgement. Adam found a respectable job in the porn-industry and Eve brought forth a multitude of offspring (between whom things did not always run so smoothly, but that's another story).

Offline DunkleSeele

Re: The True Story Behind Adam and Eve
« Reply #1 on: July 15, 2014, 04:02:44 AM »
Uhmm... welcome, I guess...

Offline DunkleSeele

Re: The True Story Behind Adam and Eve
« Reply #2 on: July 15, 2014, 04:17:51 AM »
I don't mind the story, it's just that this section is for new members to introduce themselves.

By the way, when a staff member writes in black text, he's speaking as a regular member.

Welcome anyway, and please tell us something about yourself.

Offline Nam

  • Unofficial Atheist Deity "Namgod"
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Re: The True Story Behind Adam and Eve
« Reply #3 on: July 15, 2014, 04:23:30 AM »
I don't mind the story, it's just that this section is for new members to introduce themselves.

By the way, when a staff member writes in black text, he's speaking as a regular member.

Welcome anyway, and please tell us something about yourself.

(cough) phattmatt/frosty (cough).

-Nam
Mad cow disease...it's not just for cows, or the mad!

Re: The True Story Behind Adam and Eve
« Reply #4 on: July 15, 2014, 09:10:48 AM »
Raven PM'd me about my sig. Apparently never heard of Douglas Adams.

Quote
Reality is that which, if you stop believing in it, doesn't go away??? I don't know the guy who wrote that, but he must have lived a long time ago. Nowadays we don't use subject-object ideas any more. You cannot divide between reality and belief, they are intertwined with each other.

Troll.

Re: The True Story Behind Adam and Eve
« Reply #5 on: July 15, 2014, 10:48:05 AM »
There's no telling what comes out of primordial ooze, but it all smells the same..  :pidu: Solitary
There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.

Re: The True Story Behind Adam and Eve
« Reply #6 on: July 15, 2014, 12:04:38 PM »
I had a round of posts with Truth8874 and left out of boredom. The fact that Raven Pm'ed me particularly this morning makes me think they are the same people.

Re: The True Story Behind Adam and Eve
« Reply #7 on: July 15, 2014, 01:55:42 PM »
You kids and your games!  Have fun with that! 
« Last Edit: July 15, 2014, 02:02:04 PM by Mary mandilin »

Re: The True Story Behind Adam and Eve
« Reply #8 on: July 15, 2014, 02:00:36 PM »
We do have fun! We aren't restricted by religious dogma to deprive ourselves, and we don't get butt fucked by priests like you obviously have, the trademark of a troll is childhood sexual abuse. We pray you get help, but we know it doesn't work on sinners like you. Have a nice day!  :rotflmao: Solitary
There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.

Offline Raven (OP)

Re: The True Story Behind Adam and Eve
« Reply #9 on: July 15, 2014, 02:27:55 PM »
I googled Douglas Adams and I have had his book The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in my hands once, but if that's where you guys collect your information, then I am in the wrong place here. I do not take any atheist seriously unless they have read and understood Nietzsche. Does any of you practice a phenomenological method at all?

Offline Raven (OP)

Re: The True Story Behind Adam and Eve
« Reply #10 on: July 15, 2014, 02:34:59 PM »
PS Your suspicion that Truth8874 and me are the same person is false

Re: The True Story Behind Adam and Eve
« Reply #11 on: July 15, 2014, 02:38:59 PM »
Whatever. You are making decisions about us based on very little information. If Nietzsche is your only source of philosophy, then you have a very narrow focus. That all adds up to a narrow minded, judgmental individual. Or a troll who happened to look up Nietzsche before they came here. Either way you are not someone I find particularly interesting.

Offline Hijiri Byakuren

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Re: The True Story Behind Adam and Eve
« Reply #12 on: July 15, 2014, 02:55:59 PM »
I do not take any atheist seriously unless they have read and understood Nietzsche.
I do not take anyone seriously who thinks Nietzsche is the end-all be-all of philosophy.
Make America Great Britain Again.
Oh, there once was a hero named Ragnar the Red, who came riding to Whiterun from ol' Rorikstead...

Re: The True Story Behind Adam and Eve
« Reply #13 on: July 15, 2014, 03:02:01 PM »
The fact that you chose to PM me personally- and apparently no one else- before I even knew you were on the forum and comment on my sig, tends to say you had me in your sights for some reason. In any case, don't PM me again. And don't expect friendship on here.

Offline AllPurposeAtheist

Re: The True Story Behind Adam and Eve
« Reply #14 on: July 15, 2014, 03:11:21 PM »
Yeah, people sure make ya feel all welcome n shit don't they?
Of course telling lame jokes in your intro thread and PMing "total strangers" about their signature line and telling atheists the only philosophy worth bothering with is Nietzsche isn't like totally rav man.
Let's start over shall we? Go away and try again except skipping the later part of that.
All hail my new signature!

Admit it. You're secretly green with envy.