Muslim groups declare jihad on Cadbury eggs

[Hydra009 (OP)]

http://www.themalaymailonline.com/malaysia/article/muslim-groups-declare-jihad-on-cadbury-claims-wider-agenda-to-weaken-faith

Cadbury’s Malaysian outfit scrambled to recall two batches of chocolate products found tainted with porcine DNA by the Health Ministry on Saturday.

In a statement, the company said it was informed that samples of its Cadbury Dairy Milk Hazelnut and the Cadbury Dairy Milk Roast Almond that had been sent to the ministry had “tested positive for traces of porcine DNA”.

“They have betrayed us Muslims by putting ‘haram’ elements through the foods we consume in our body, to weaken us Muslims.

“That is why Muslims are weak, divided,” Perkasa Selangor chief Abu Bakar Yahya told reporters.

Perkid president Ustaz Masridzi Sat said most social ills and apostasy cases in the country involving Muslims stemmed from them consuming food which was not halal.

“Because the person eats pork it is difficult to guide him to the right path. When the day of judgment comes, that person will be wearing a pig-face because of what he has eaten,” he said.

“We need to unite, we must declare jihad!” said Masridzi to shouts of “Allahuakbar” (God is great!) from the others in attendance.

“Will Cadbury wash away the tainted blood in our veins? I want to wash away the tainted blood of my children who have consumed the chocolates... how will money even compensate that?” a Malay woman present shouted hysterically.

While I can understand their grievance of products labeled halal not being halal and causing people to inadvertently break their religious dietary rules, these reactions are so over the top it's not even funny.  Pork isn't responsible for any social ills or apostasy and your blood will not forever be "tainted" from pork.  WTF!

[aitm]

There is no cure for that kind of stupidity, because it is born of pure foolishness.

[AllPurposeAtheist]

We need a war on rabbits that lay foil wrapped chocolate eggs no doubt.

[AllPurposeAtheist]

Everyone knows just one drop of pork makes you a pig. Imagine them eating a hamburger. They'll all turn into cows. One grain of rice, sorry, you're Chinese. One drop of water you become a mud puddle.
The only solution for them, STOP EATING!

[Jason78]

What are they doing eating chocolate anyway?   Nowhere in the Koran does it say that cocoa is halal.

[the_antithesis]

(we don't have a special word for pork and they use the word pig).

Most languages don't, IIUC. English is different only because of the Norman invasion in 1066.

[DunkleSeele]

In the country I live, most of the products have "None of our products contain 'pig' related ingredients" (we don't have a special word for pork and they use the word pig). And here pork is legal. I can go to the mall near to my house to watch a movie in a theatre and eat bacon beef hamburger, but still can't buy bacon from the shelf from a regular shop. At least I haven't seen it. Only in this country.   

In Istanbul I've seen a butchery selling pork. And I've been at several restaurants which had pork-based meals on the menu.

[aileron]

I'll do the Malay Muslims a public service and safely dispose of all the porcine-tainted Cadbury products. Mmmmm... pig DNA laced chocolate...

[Moralnihilist]

A Cadbury rep was heard saying: "What porcine DNA?"

[StupidWiz]

Mickey Mouse, and then Cadbury chocolate... what's next?

[AllPurposeAtheist]

I would submit they stop breathing because pigs also breath air which is expelled into the atmosphere and carried to them by prevailing winds.

[Hydra009 (OP)]

I suppose I shouldn't be too scornful, considering the great anglo horsemeat freakout.  I don't really understand that either considering how awesome horsemeat is.  Seriously.  You guys don't know what you're missing out on.  If anything, there should be more horsemeat in the burgers, not less.  :P

And then there was some story about how human DNA is sometimes in pork because slaughterhouse workers occasionally cut themselves on the job.  And not a single case of vampirism reported so far.  *wry smirk revealing fangs*

[Hydra009 (OP)]

I would submit they stop breathing because pigs also breath air which is expelled into the atmosphere and carried to them by prevailing winds.

And don't forget water.

[Atheon]

They need to read their Quran. It says that if you unwittingly consume haram foods (or you have no choice but to eat them to survive), you're A-OK.

[DunkleSeele]

I suppose I shouldn't be too scornful, considering the great anglo horsemeat freakout.  I don't really understand that either considering how awesome horsemeat is.  Seriously.  You guys don't know what you're missing out on.  If anything, there should be more horsemeat in the burgers, not less.  :P

And then there was some story about how human DNA is sometimes in pork because slaughterhouse workers occasionally cut themselves on the job.  And not a single case of vampirism reported so far.  *wry smirk revealing fangs*

Over here horse meat is quite widespread. And yes, it's fucking awesome!