I don't take the part about changing the world in the sense of overthrowing a nazi regime, but on a smaller, more personal level. Where people, in an attempt to improve their lives will try to get others to change for them. Basically, attempting to control things they cannot control and really have no fucking business trying to. You cannot control others. But you can, theoretically, control yourself. Start there if you want to see change.
I agree that if the only skill you have (or think you have) is in changing others, you're not going to see much personal growth in yourself. It's absolutely most important to know how to take care of your own house first.
As far as being an agent of change, which I see as a strength, it's not quite the same as the domineering behavior, that I see as a weakness, which I think you are talking about. And make no mistake about it. My activist lesbian boss was very good a sorting out her own shit. I don't think she could have been as effective as an agent of change if she were not able to keep track of her own issues so well.
In my older life, I still see changing myself (I usually refer to it as understanding myself) as of first importance. That's how I derive happiness. As far as changing others, at his point in the game, I have neither the interest or the energy to try to do that. Now, I kind of hate to admit to my attitude toward others, sometimes. I don't really care what they do, and I like that in myself. If they want to be stupid assholes, then fuck em. I just avoid them. I don't want them around. If they are trying to control me, I don't want them around either. If they are trying to push my buttons, I'll ask them to leave.
Fortunately, many people aren't that bad so there are still good friends to be had.