Author Topic: I Touched Myself "Down There"  (Read 4352 times)

Offline stromboli (OP)

I Touched Myself "Down There"
« on: February 04, 2014, 11:29:18 PM »
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/02/0 ... down-there

Quote

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is the level of control the LDS wants to instill in all the little minions. Get caught, totally stigmatized and carrying guilt for the rest of your life. And I bet it winds up on their permanent record. Seriously.

Re: I Touched Myself "Down There"
« Reply #1 on: February 04, 2014, 11:58:43 PM »
hey, internet porn is a gateway drug. One minute he's looking at porn on the internet the next he's wearing a fursuit and a pair of fuzzy handcuffs while a sexy dominatrix whips him repeatedly, thus bringing about the end times.

It's all in revelations, probably.
Quote from: \"Tony Harrison\"
"This is an outrage!"

Quote from: \"Plu\"
When you can\'t wield logic, everything sounds like an insult.

Offline AllPurposeAtheist

Re: I Touched Myself "Down There"
« Reply #2 on: February 05, 2014, 12:02:41 AM »
NO! DON'T! God will burn you forever and ever and ever and ever and... When you have to pee just piss on the floor the way god intended!  :rollin:
All hail my new signature!

Admit it. You're secretly green with envy.

Re: I Touched Myself "Down There"
« Reply #3 on: February 05, 2014, 12:28:53 AM »
I masturbated for the first time yesterday and look what happened to me:


That's right, I turned into a motherfucking t-rex. You may think that's awesome, but now I can't masturbate due to my tiny arms.

DON'T MASTURBATE!
Some people need to be beaten with a smart stick.

Kein Mehrheit Fur Die Mitleid!

Kein Mitlied F�r Die Mehrheit!

Offline AllPurposeAtheist

Re: I Touched Myself "Down There"
« Reply #4 on: February 05, 2014, 12:31:01 AM »
Oh bite me... No..wait. That didn't come out right.  :shock:
All hail my new signature!

Admit it. You're secretly green with envy.

Offline Hijiri Byakuren

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Re: I Touched Myself "Down There"
« Reply #5 on: February 05, 2014, 12:39:43 AM »
Quote from: "The Skeletal Atheist"
That's right, I turned into a motherfucking t-rex.
[youtube:1eobm7x9][/youtube:1eobm7x9]

Offline Atheon

Re: I Touched Myself "Down There"
« Reply #6 on: February 05, 2014, 01:13:29 AM »
Quote
"...the video admonishes his students that not reporting your masturbating roommate to your friendly Bishop..."
Report to the Bishop about "beating the Bishop"?
"Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful." - Seneca

Offline stromboli (OP)

Re: I Touched Myself "Down There"
« Reply #7 on: February 05, 2014, 01:22:48 AM »
Send young men on missions. Some discover, after sleeping in the same apartment with a male other, they are gay. So get rid of the gay ones. Not allowed to jerk off in school so they will be horny little monsters that will be continually urged to marry soonest and replicate little Mormons, thus keeping numbers up. All part of the plan.

Re: I Touched Myself "Down There"
« Reply #8 on: February 05, 2014, 01:30:49 AM »
I can't believe there's a social stigma on intruding in people's private lives, making them feel guilty over something that's pretty much harmless, and then proceeding to preach at them.  Egads, where have we gone wrong as a society?!

Also "wounded soldier" is slang for a masturbation-related injury.  Just fyi.
« Last Edit: February 05, 2014, 01:31:27 AM by Hydra009 »

Offline AllPurposeAtheist

Re: I Touched Myself "Down There"
« Reply #9 on: February 05, 2014, 01:31:07 AM »
All good old fashioned,  American,  man on top, woman on bottom,  get it over with quick sex...in the dark, under covers in your magic underwear!  Damned, that makes me wanna touch myself.  8-[  :-$
All hail my new signature!

Admit it. You're secretly green with envy.

Offline GrinningYMIR

Re: I Touched Myself "Down There"
« Reply #10 on: February 05, 2014, 11:40:58 AM »
Oh, you should have seen the shit they used to do to you for masturbating back in the medieval eras, they'd burn the sin away, or they'd put a chastity belt on you. Yes they made them for men, and they were quite painful

They were actually designed to stick a needle in your boy when you got a hard on  :shock:  :shock:  :shock:
"Human history is a litany of blood shed over differing ideals of rulership and afterlife"

Governor of the 32nd Province of the New Lunar Republic. Luna Nobis Custodit

Offline stromboli (OP)

Re: I Touched Myself "Down There"
« Reply #11 on: February 05, 2014, 12:00:44 PM »
Which gives me a great idea. A line of chastity belts, advertised by churches around the world. I'll be wealthy.  :-D

Offline Atheon

Re: I Touched Myself "Down There"
« Reply #12 on: February 05, 2014, 12:21:04 PM »
Interesting how these aging men are obsessed with the idea of young guys jacking off.
"Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful." - Seneca

Re: I Touched Myself "Down There"
« Reply #13 on: February 05, 2014, 12:33:04 PM »
Quote from: "Atheon"
Interesting how these aging men are obsessed with the idea of young guys jacking off.
Religious types are fixated on the bedroom and controlling what goes on in it.

Offline AllPurposeAtheist

Re: I Touched Myself "Down There"
« Reply #14 on: February 05, 2014, 01:20:48 PM »
In the whole vast universe and beyond there's only one thing that will send all those planets & stars into a cataclysmic tizzy.. YOU KNOW you're responsible for keeping order in the cosmos so plesse, I beg of you! DON'T touch "it"! :shock:  [-X  :-$
All hail my new signature!

Admit it. You're secretly green with envy.