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Exercising w/ The woman

Started by wolf39us, January 26, 2014, 09:02:32 AM

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wolf39us

Stepping on the scale lately has been proving to be pretty depressing.  Holy shit when did I get to 208 @ 5'9??  I used to be so fit wtf.

Anyways, that's to be expected when all I do is go to work (desk job), come home.. eat.. sleep and repeat.  Every once in awhile I'll manage to get out and do something.

Now I've been trying to get my girlfriend to come exercise with me and in my case I'm pretty avid with cycling (road). I did convince her to get a bike and come around town with me which worked for a bit but after a few months though she stopped wanting to go!

Now of course this doesn't necessarily stop me from going, but we have no days off together and I try to spend my free time with her.  At this rate though, I'll never lose this weight.  

Now I love my share of indoor activities (Anime, gaming, movies etc.) but it seems this is all she wants to do.  Everytime I say "hey hun let's hit up the park!" she'd rather do something inside... ugh.

I'm starting to think I'll need to just put aside some time and just say "I'm going cycling for a bit, you wanna come or not?"

Anyone here ever have problems with a significant other that prefers to be lazy?

stromboli

My wife and I go camping together and other activities, but we never exercised together. We also have separate activities. I would suggest not to make a big issue of it. People do different things. If she starts porking out and putting on weight, you might want to nudge her into exercise. But after 37 years, I spend as much time as I can on my own because we have different interests. I bicycle, my wife can't. she spends part of her day in a wheelchair and doing stretching exercises, but mostly watches television. She doesn't get fat. I exercise and I do. Go figure.

Mermaid

I don't understand why this is a problem. You can't make your activities dependent on her! Don't try to guilt her into going with you if she doesn't want to. Your priorities are not hers, remember.
Sure, it's nice to have a workout buddy, but you can't make her want to if she doesn't. Having independent interests is generally part of having a healthy relationship.
I recently had a significant weight loss and feel great because of it. I would never dream of involving my husband in my food choices or exercise routine because I know that if he wanted to, he'd tell me.

And Stromboli, I strongly disagree with you here:
QuoteIf she starts porking out and putting on weight, you might want to nudge her into exercise.
She's presumably an adult and can make her own decisions. If she doesn't want to, nudging her might only serve to alienate her.
A cynical habit of thought and speech, a readiness to criticise work which the critic himself never tries to perform, an intellectual aloofness which will not accept contact with life’s realities â€" all these are marks, not as the possessor would fain to think, of superiority but of weakness. -TR

stromboli

I have been properly chastised.  :(

wolf39us

Quote from: "Mermaid"I don't understand why this is a problem. You can't make your activities dependent on her! Don't try to guilt her into going with you if she doesn't want to. Your priorities are not hers, remember.
Sure, it's nice to have a workout buddy, but you can't make her want to if she doesn't. Having independent interests is generally part of having a healthy relationship.
I recently had a significant weight loss and feel great because of it. I would never dream of involving my husband in my food choices or exercise routine because I know that if he wanted to, he'd tell me.

And Stromboli, I strongly disagree with you here:
QuoteIf she starts porking out and putting on weight, you might want to nudge her into exercise.
She's presumably an adult and can make her own decisions. If she doesn't want to, nudging her might only serve to alienate her.

Hmm, did I say I was trying to guilt her?

aitm

Yeah go off on yer own, get all fit and stuff and then you can walk in all sweaty and say "bitch...make me a sammich!"
A humans desire to live is exceeded only by their willingness to die for another. Even god cannot equal this magnificent sacrifice. No god has the right to judge them.-first tenant of the Panotheust

Mermaid

Quote from: "wolf39us"
Quote from: "Mermaid"I don't understand why this is a problem. You can't make your activities dependent on her! Don't try to guilt her into going with you if she doesn't want to. Your priorities are not hers, remember.
Sure, it's nice to have a workout buddy, but you can't make her want to if she doesn't. Having independent interests is generally part of having a healthy relationship.
I recently had a significant weight loss and feel great because of it. I would never dream of involving my husband in my food choices or exercise routine because I know that if he wanted to, he'd tell me.

And Stromboli, I strongly disagree with you here:
QuoteIf she starts porking out and putting on weight, you might want to nudge her into exercise.
She's presumably an adult and can make her own decisions. If she doesn't want to, nudging her might only serve to alienate her.

Hmm, did I say I was trying to guilt her?
No, you didn't. And I didn't mean to chastise anyone. Maybe I could have been more diplomatic about it, but I guess it's a hot button for me. It's respecting each others boundaries and not trying to push your agenda on someone who clearly isn't interested. That is what I should have said. Please don't take this as angry or aggressive. I am just sharing how I would feel if someone tried that with me.
A cynical habit of thought and speech, a readiness to criticise work which the critic himself never tries to perform, an intellectual aloofness which will not accept contact with life’s realities â€" all these are marks, not as the possessor would fain to think, of superiority but of weakness. -TR

Mermaid

Quote from: "aitm"Yeah go off on yer own, get all fit and stuff and then you can walk in all sweaty and say "bitch...make me a sammich!"
You crack me the hell up almost constantly.
A cynical habit of thought and speech, a readiness to criticise work which the critic himself never tries to perform, an intellectual aloofness which will not accept contact with life’s realities â€" all these are marks, not as the possessor would fain to think, of superiority but of weakness. -TR

wolf39us

Quote from: "aitm"Yeah go off on yer own, get all fit and stuff and then you can walk in all sweaty and say "bitch...make me a sammich!"

HA!  I love this response.

stromboli

Quote from: "aitm"Yeah go off on yer own, get all fit and stuff and then you can walk in all sweaty and say "bitch...make me a sammich!"

Once.

Mermaid

Quote from: "stromboli"
Quote from: "aitm"Yeah go off on yer own, get all fit and stuff and then you can walk in all sweaty and say "bitch...make me a sammich!"

Once.
Truth.
A cynical habit of thought and speech, a readiness to criticise work which the critic himself never tries to perform, an intellectual aloofness which will not accept contact with life’s realities â€" all these are marks, not as the possessor would fain to think, of superiority but of weakness. -TR

AllPurposeAtheist

Quote from: "aitm"Yeah go off on yer own, get all fit and stuff and then you can walk in all sweaty and say "bitch...make me a sammich!"
I'm pretty sure my ex was related to Elana Bobbit. She has a sister named Elana.  :shock:
All hail my new signature!

Admit it. You're secretly green with envy.

Jack89

I like to bike as well, but it does take some time.  I recommend simple bodyweight circuit training 3 times a week at the house, for about 15-20 minutes a pop.  I found this to be the best way to lose weight and keep it off.  And since it take virtually no time, I can't blow it off as easy.  It also works the upper body which often gets ignored.

Bike ride on your days off if you have time and lose even more weight.

stromboli

Yeah, I concur. I used to know a Cardiologist/fit nut who basically said you should run for cardio, because biking just wasn't as effective. weight lifting should be included. I've blown my right arm bicep completely with both tendons destroyed, so I can't lift. I have a Popeye right arm because all the muscularity is in the lower arm and not the upper.

I mountain bike because I have actual mountains.  My son- the Army guy- does a Muay Thai workout that is very effective. I might look into that.

wolf39us

Quote from: "stromboli"Yeah, I concur. I used to know a Cardiologist/fit nut who basically said you should run for cardio, because biking just wasn't as effective. weight lifting should be included. I've blown my right arm bicep completely with both tendons destroyed, so I can't lift. I have a Popeye right arm because all the muscularity is in the lower arm and not the upper.

I mountain bike because I have actual mountains.  My son- the Army guy- does a Muay Thai workout that is very effective. I might look into that.

I've read studies that say otherwise.

Not because you get more burn out of the same work, but because biking is easier to sustain in the end (for most people).  While running a distance could burn an almost negligible amount more than biking... biking has little to no impact on your joints and reduces fatigue giving you the ability to go for much longer.

That's not to say of course that there aren't ridiculous runners that can run until their heart stops beating.  I've done upwards of 65 miles in a single biking session which is a shit ton of burn... I'd like to see a runner do that :-)