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Why I am beginning to hate water bottles

Started by Hijiri Byakuren, October 11, 2013, 12:08:57 PM

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Hijiri Byakuren

I used to be a "fan of water bottles".

This has dramatically decreased the past 2 years, though. The reason for this is because water bottles cannot fit ice cubes into the opening, and are increasingly being frozen in people's freezers, an utterly irresponsible practice.

For example, mentally unstable people will get angry, take these frozen water bottles out, and beat someone to death. The trend of freezing water bottles paved the way. We are not talking about normal people who commit a crime, but people who may or may not be sociopaths.

Today the Danish government went one step further: They want to make it a duty for Danish citizens, if chosen, to freeze a supply of water bottles for the common good of society.

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Denmark
(Danish article).

Today, the the local municipality already have the opportunity to force thirsty individuals to receive frozen water bottles (FWB). They can also force mentally ill people to freeze their own supply.

This law will inevitably lead to a massive abuse of our basic human rights. All in the name of water bottles.

I hate water bottles!
Speak when you have something to say, not when you have to say something.

Sargon The Grape - My Youtube Channel

AllPurposeAtheist

Now you're just being cruel.
I don't mind cruelty under certain circumstances, but... :shock:

Never mind..be cruel.. :wink:
All hail my new signature!

Admit it. You're secretly green with envy.

TrueStory

I used to be a fan of "ice".

This has dramatically decreased the past 2 years, though. The reason for this is because ice causes more harm than good, and are increasingly being frozen in people's freezers, an utterly irresponsible practice.

For example, mentally unstable people will get angry, and start an all out war, and threaten the survival of all humans. The trend of freezing water bottles paved the way. We are not talking about normal people who commit a crime, but people who may or may not be sociopaths.

Today the Danish government went one step further: They outlined a plan to setup a moon base at the north pole:

http://www.defensenews.com/article/2013 ... c-Security
(Danish article).

Today, the the local municipality already have the opportunity to force warm loving people to turn their water into ice. They can also force mentally ill people to freeze their own supply.

This law will inevitably lead to a massive abuse of our basic human rights. All in the name of war.

I hate ice!
Please don't take anything I say seriously.

Hydra009

I used to be a "fan of school".

This has dramatically decreased the past 2 years, though. The reason for this is that public schools are run by the government - the same government that runs the army.

For example, governments have fought wars.  Sometimes, multiple times.  Hitler was in the government.  And so was Obama.

Kumquats

Jason78

QuoteEsta webada no está disponible durante el cierre del Gobierno.

Unless google translate is way off, your hatstand is absent of bobcats.

People NEED ice damnit!  Especially in emergencies, which is why every Danish household is required by law to have a rifle, a box of ammunition, a cheese grater and a hot pastry in the event of a country wide catastrophe.
Winner of WitchSabrinas Best Advice Award 2012


We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real
tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. -Plato

Hydra009

Consider this:

You lose an eye in a surprise nailgun battle.

You know that if you get cured, you can no longer wear your totally bitchin' eyepatch.

Who'd like to be cured from that? You got to be stupid if you want that cure!
To want a cure for a serious disability that grants you access to pirate-themed parties every day and night is political, emotional, and infraordermetric suicide!

AllPurposeAtheist

I used to be a big fan of water, but then I tried to breath in the bath tub and it was hot soapy water. Logically my lungs should have been nice and clean, but it just didn't work out that way.
Of course I was quite young back then.
All hail my new signature!

Admit it. You're secretly green with envy.

Jutter

Drink tapwater, or else the terrorists win.
No religion for me thank you very much; I 'm full of shit enough as it is.

Being flabbergasted about existence never made anyone disappear in a poof of flabbergas, so nevermind why we're here. We ARE here.

Colanth

Afflicting the comfortable for 70 years.
Science builds skyscrapers, faith flies planes into them.

Hijiri Byakuren

Quote from: "Colanth"Anyone a fan of dihydrogen monoxide?  Dangerous stuff.
I hear cancer cells are loaded with the stuff.
Speak when you have something to say, not when you have to say something.

Sargon The Grape - My Youtube Channel