Author Topic: Mama's Bible  (Read 171 times)

Mama's Bible
« on: October 24, 2021, 11:46:15 AM »
Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers.

One evening, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the 95th birthday gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who moved to Florida .

The first said, "You know I had a big house built for Mama."

The second said, "And I had a large theater built in the house."

The third said, "And I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL 600 to her."

The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot who could recite the entire Bible. It took ten preachers almost 8 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $50,000 a year for five years to the church, but it was worth it Mama only has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot will recite it."

The other brothers were impressed. After the celebration Mama sent out her "Thank You" notes.

She wrote: Milton , the house you built is so huge that I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home; I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."

"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound and it can hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing, and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious Thank you so much."

Love, Mama

Offline drunkenshoe

Re: Mama's Bible
« Reply #1 on: October 25, 2021, 09:56:41 AM »
Well, I was expecting a clever comeback from Mama about bible, but certainly not this. 
"I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are good people and bad people. You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides." Havelock Vetinari

Offline Hydra009

Re: Mama's Bible
« Reply #2 on: October 25, 2021, 11:14:04 PM »
She could've rented rooms out and sold the car for so much chicken...

Re: Mama's Bible
« Reply #3 on: October 25, 2021, 11:55:49 PM »
Well, I was expecting a clever comeback from Mama about bible, but certainly not this.

When I first read it, I was hoping for some atheist bent to the punch line. In retrospect, it does have that flavor.

Re: Mama's Bible
« Reply #4 on: October 26, 2021, 06:42:36 AM »
She's old, and the situation was gravy.
We 'new atheists' have a reputation for being militant, but make no mistake  we didn't start this war. If you want to place blame put it on the the religious zealots who have been poisoning the minds of the  young for a long long time."
PZ Myers