I worked with juvenile offenders for over 40 years. And you fall into the worst group of those I've dealt with. Those who tortured and injured animals were the worst--I don't know of any that ever amounted to anything other than an inmate in prison. You are sick--probably beyond repair. You do belong in a 10 by 10 cell for whatever days you have left.
I was a child and had no sympathetic emotions and ı still suffering from non-understanding of others' feelings.
Oh Man, i already suffered my sentence. İ need to go deep in my psycology and to have a professional therapist help but have no chance to physically reach one, maybe i can get online help.
Because of genetic tendency from two of My parents' familial history and because i have personality disorders, i have improved alcoholism and psycological problems which i cannot solve even if i try hard. İ will not be able to catch happiness and saticfaction in my life, i have understood.
One issue iş organic, which is neurochemical; the other one is from personality and because of the style of My upbringing and happennings i have underwent.
Whatever, i am suffering my sentence, enough is enough.