Twitter/Forum/Texting Interaction...

[Mr.Obvious]

LOL same.  I legit don't understand why people cheat.  Either stay or go.  You can't do both.

I don't even understand how people cheat. At least 'longterm'. Not like a drunken mistake or something. How do you manage an affair on an emotional level? Knowing that you are hurting your partner(S) for such selfish reasons? How much can you compartimentalize, because if you can't doesn't it shred your spyché? Doesn't it completely drain your self-worth to the point That you can' t look your cowardice self in the mirror  anymore? Doesn't the guilt and loathing strip you entirely of you?

And aside of al that? Where do you get the fucking time anyways? How the fuck do you fit that in? Things have to be going bad already if you are spending so little time with your spouse that you can add a second partner.

[bob nelson]

 It's all just one giant echo chamber.

[Baruch]

It's all just one giant echo chamber.

Self selected echo chambers, but like equality, some echo chambers are more echo-y than others ;-)

[Cassia]

I don't even understand how people cheat. At least 'longterm'. Not like a drunken mistake or something. How do you manage an affair on an emotional level? Knowing that you are hurting your partner(S) for such selfish reasons? How much can you compartimentalize, because if you can't doesn't it shred your spyché? Doesn't it completely drain your self-worth to the point That you can' t look your cowardice self in the mirror  anymore? Doesn't the guilt and loathing strip you entirely of you?

And aside of al that? Where do you get the fucking time anyways? How the fuck do you fit that in? Things have to be going bad already if you are spending so little time with your spouse that you can add a second partner.

Yeah, there will be no second chances. I don't knock people who give them, I just can't understand how they do it. In fact, the whole idea of 'forgiveness' is so wrapped up in religion and the concept of sin. I don't forgive or forget. I just move to a new situation where I regain my happiness. I don't give a fuck if a liar needs forgiveness, not my problem.

[SGOS]

Have you heard of Neuro-Linguistic Programing (NLP)?  It was big in the 70's.  I was in the Army active reserve in the late 70's and we spent 6 full days (3 weekends) studying NLP.  Apparently, at that time the Army used these techniques to train their competitive 45 cal. pistol team.  The part that pertained to my unit was the 'reading' of body language and eye movements when questioning a person.  (I was in a Counter Intelligence unit; we were not integrators officially, but we did run several types of investigations.)  Anyway, the Army was so impressed with it that they spent 6 full days teaching it to us.  I have since forgot most of it and have long since thrown away all the handouts that we were given.  I do remember that if we asked someone a question and their eyes looked up and to the left, they were accessing their memories; if they looked down and to the left, they were using their imagination (lying).    I don't know if the Army still thinks it a good tool to use or not.  Here is an article dealing with the subject:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuro-linguistic_programming   

But now that you spilled the beans and let out all the secrets, scam artists will be looking up and to the left, to make you think they are thinking, and never looking down and to the left when they are lying, which leaves you back where you were when you started.  But I still think there are non verbal ques that are unscripted that we pick up on.  How they affect the relationship is probably important, but probably no more predictable of the actual value of the relationship itself.  Codependents still find their partners, and con artists still find their marks, and it's a combination of a lot of faulty sensory experiences.  I have picked up a lot of ques in my life, which often proved to be embarrassingly inaccurate.  Or did I pick up the cues just fine, but fumble in my responses.  Who knows?  Communication is a mess.  Maybe in a perfect world we would all be high functioning autistics who said only what they meant, and understood only what was said.

[Mike Cl]

But now that you spilled the beans and let out all the secrets, scam artists will be looking up and to the left, to make you think they are thinking, and never looking down and to the left when they are lying, which leaves you back where you were when you started.  But I still think there are non verbal ques that are unscripted that we pick up on.  How they affect the relationship is probably important, but probably no more predictable of the actual value of the relationship itself.  Codependents still find their partners, and con artists still find their marks, and it's a combination of a lot of faulty sensory experiences.  I have picked up a lot of ques in my life, which often proved to be embarrassingly inaccurate.  Or did I pick up the cues just fine, but fumble in my responses.  Who knows?  Communication is a mess.  Maybe in a perfect world we would all be high functioning autistics who said only what they meant, and understood only what was said.

It was more complicated than just that.  It was learning how to read body language--how you sit, how stand, how you say what you say--and on and on.  And it is surprisingly difficult to change your own nonverbal cues even when trying.  I enjoy learning that kind of stuff so I had an enjoyable 6 days.  And I remember hoping this info would help with my teaching.  But I'm not sure it had much of a lasting impact and I don't know if the Army still uses it.  One part of the training that I think is legit was the imaging part of it.  An experiment was used as an illustration was this one:  Three groups; all basketball players.  One group did nothing, one group physically practiced shooting and the last group saw themselves take the proper stances for a successful shoot in their minds.  I think this was of a 2 week period.  Anyway,  on retest of each groups shooting abilities, the group that physically practiced and the group that saw themselves shooting scored the same.  The group that did nothing finished last.  They used these types of techniques for the Army .45 pistol team.  As I've said, I don't really know if the Army still does any of this stuff.  And as I remember it, NLP training also swept thru the countries police forces.

[Baruch]

Yeah, there will be no second chances. I don't knock people who give them, I just can't understand how they do it. In fact, the whole idea of 'forgiveness' is so wrapped up in religion and the concept of sin. I don't forgive or forget. I just move to a new situation where I regain my happiness. I don't give a fuck if a liar needs forgiveness, not my problem.

How I feel about all politicians ;-(

On cues ... the idea now is to use autonomic pupil dilation, measured automatically, when viewing porn, to measure response, for example of pedophiles.  They should do this with politicians, by showing them pictures of money ;-)