Being permanently on guard is not doable. This is exactly what made me a grumpy, snappy person, sometimes an ass. I'm an ambivert and between extreme as the personality traits go. It's the worst combination you can have as a human being, trust me. Then you come as a nihilistic, pessimistic, misanthropic ass to everyone around you, to potential friend or love.
Rarely, someone gets the situation and if you are lucky they're a someone you can fall for. Then there comes another problem because then there is no guard, because they know how soft and emotional you actually are. So that person should have a much better balanced personality in my case. I got that lucky one time. It was a long relationship.
When I said 'I'm a sucker for a strong man' before in the Last Post thread this was actually what I meant, but yeah it is sexist. I was young and madly in love, and had no idea it took strength at the other side and that I'm a certain type of difficult person in a different way. That has run its course for different reasons and ended. But then years later another man left me because "You don't get me into your life" which I didn't get a thing then. I got it later. He was right from his point of view. He also wanted to get marry and have children and I think that played a big role too.
Myeh...I got used to being single so long, it looks like another universe to me now.