Author Topic: Romantic Love  (Read 1259 times)

Offline Baruch

Re: Romantic Love
« Reply #30 on: August 31, 2020, 05:20:31 PM »
What you describe isn’t love. It’s just as you say - ego stroking and such. Love is sacrificing. And when you find someone special to connect with, you’ll gladly make sacrifices together. I never believed in love tbh, until I met someone who changed my mind on it all.

Same here.  For while it lasts, real love is a rare bird, but possible.  My Ex made me a man, my daughter makes me human.
Ha’át’íísh baa naniná?
Azee’ ła’ish nanídį́į́h?
Táadoo ánít’iní.
What are you doing?
Are you taking any medications?
Don't do that.

Re: Romantic Love
« Reply #31 on: September 26, 2020, 08:17:49 AM »
I especially avoid starting a romantic relationship, but who knows, it hits by chance or accident with no signal...

Why i avoid is because it steals my time that i should give to my other special interests...

However, a beautiful woman can help me cure... I have multiple addictions and need to divert my attention to another things in life; things that relates to living my life full.

I am also an Anglophile... I don't know, in my aestetic understanding, them are so very beautiful things...

I am open to Anglophone situations.. :D

Offline Baruch

Re: Romantic Love
« Reply #32 on: September 26, 2020, 12:51:54 PM »
I especially avoid starting a romantic relationship, but who knows, it hits by chance or accident with no signal...

Why i avoid is because it steals my time that i should give to my other special interests...

However, a beautiful woman can help me cure... I have multiple addictions and need to divert my attention to another things in life; things that relates to living my life full.

I am also an Anglophile... I don't know, in my aestetic understanding, them are so very beautiful things...

I am open to Anglophone situations.. :D

Enjoy the romantic feeling, but don't think with your organ.  Enjoy obsessions, but don't let it dominate you (I know a guy who collects never worn collector Nikes).  You have a tendency to over do.  A loving partner will not stop your personality traits, but you can use your personality traits to ruin any relationship.  There is no cure to being you.  Your circumstance is to fight your tendency every day, or give into it.  Which shows greater character?  Is great character from being perfect and having no flaws to overcome?



This applies to your ultimate opponent, not what you hate, but what you love.  It might also help to know the Law of Attraction ;-)  Did you remember to bathe and groom?  Start with making your bed every day, but don't stop there.
« Last Edit: September 26, 2020, 01:09:02 PM by Baruch »
Ha’át’íísh baa naniná?
Azee’ ła’ish nanídį́į́h?
Táadoo ánít’iní.
What are you doing?
Are you taking any medications?
Don't do that.

Offline aitm

Re: Romantic Love
« Reply #33 on: September 26, 2020, 02:03:58 PM »
He is very young. LOL I love watching men with great age difference disagreeing about love. And some pretending as if it doesn't change at all...cough aitm cough...
I calls it as I see it my dear forum wife. Now of course I love yo u very much. 😁
A humans desire to live is exceeded only by their willingness to die for another. Even god cannot equal this magnificent sacrifice. No god has the right to judge them.-first tenant of the Panotheust

Offline drunkenshoe

Re: Romantic Love
« Reply #34 on: September 26, 2020, 03:07:26 PM »
I calls it as I see it my dear forum wife. Now of course I love yo u very much. 😁

Pffft....that's why you bonded with your real wife for life, right. Because you call it as you see it? Oh, you love small dogs so much you just can't see them all live in a shelter? I wuv you too honey.  You're a lucky man, enjoy it. It's not 70s. ;) :smooch:
"I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are good people and bad people. You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides." Havelock Vetinari

Re: Romantic Love
« Reply #35 on: September 26, 2020, 03:29:37 PM »
If you have a high IQ and your romantic partner is lesser in that respect you will have many interesting conundrums. And also if they are not the skeptical type and you are.

 You have figured out the plot to a movie within the first 1/2 hour.. do you just keep your mouth shut? When as a passenger you calculate the next 3 likely traffic events about to occur.... they will lead to disaster and your loving partner at the wheel is oblivious. Do you just inhale and grip the dashboard? When the extended warranty seems like a good idea to them. When they are a financial mess and it is costing you both dearly. From booking flights to starting a BBQ grill they just fuck it up. Do you "help"?, LOL. When you know someone in your social circle is full of shit and your partner does not. Or it can be physical as well. Your lover has let himself go and is tired all the time. You are in tip-top shape. What to do?

There needs to be a deal. And it will not be romantic.

Offline aitm

Re: Romantic Love
« Reply #36 on: September 26, 2020, 03:49:13 PM »
Pffft....that's why you bonded with your real wife for life, right. Because you call it as you see it? Oh, you love small dogs so much you just can't see them all live in a shelter? I wuv you too honey.  You're a lucky man, enjoy it. It's not 70s. ;) :smooch:
I waited till I was 30...kinda Greek folklore...but I did actually look for “love”, but if it wasn’t a “boner” whenever she wasn’t around, it wasn’t “love”. 😘
A humans desire to live is exceeded only by their willingness to die for another. Even god cannot equal this magnificent sacrifice. No god has the right to judge them.-first tenant of the Panotheust

Offline drunkenshoe

Re: Romantic Love
« Reply #37 on: September 26, 2020, 04:40:47 PM »
I waited till I was 30...kinda Greek folklore...but I did actually look for %u201Clove%u201D, but if it wasn%u2019t a %u201Cboner%u201D whenever she wasn%u2019t around, it wasn%u2019t %u201Clove%u201D. %uD83D%uDE18

What does that even mean? "I loved her but I fucked around?" Do you really think that fucking someone else when convenient would stop you loving another one for life? How old are you, again?
« Last Edit: September 26, 2020, 04:42:22 PM by drunkenshoe »
"I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are good people and bad people. You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides." Havelock Vetinari

Offline aitm

Re: Romantic Love
« Reply #38 on: September 26, 2020, 05:24:43 PM »
What does that even mean? "I loved her but I fucked around?" Do you really think that fucking someone else when convenient would stop you loving another one for life? How old are you, again?
Sweetheart...you went from 1 to wheelbarrow awful fast. I waited till I was 30, found “my love”, but if I didn’t have a boner whenever she was around...it wasn’t love...love.
A humans desire to live is exceeded only by their willingness to die for another. Even god cannot equal this magnificent sacrifice. No god has the right to judge them.-first tenant of the Panotheust

Offline drunkenshoe

Re: Romantic Love
« Reply #39 on: September 27, 2020, 03:27:23 AM »
Of course it wouldn't happen without sex. But you describe it as if it is a very conscious thing we decide to do. It is confusing. Or maybe you knew the exact thing you want. It doesn't or so far didn't happen to me that way.
"I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are good people and bad people. You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides." Havelock Vetinari

Offline aitm

Re: Romantic Love
« Reply #40 on: September 27, 2020, 06:37:50 AM »
Of course it wouldn't happen without sex. But you describe it as if it is a very conscious thing we decide to do. It is confusing. Or maybe you knew the exact thing you want. It doesn't or so far didn't happen to me that way.
Of course it didn’t happen to you that way. To that I refer back to my original post.
A humans desire to live is exceeded only by their willingness to die for another. Even god cannot equal this magnificent sacrifice. No god has the right to judge them.-first tenant of the Panotheust

Offline Baruch

Re: Romantic Love
« Reply #41 on: September 27, 2020, 11:31:40 AM »
Of course it wouldn't happen without sex. But you describe it as if it is a very conscious thing we decide to do. It is confusing. Or maybe you knew the exact thing you want. It doesn't or so far didn't happen to me that way.

"What do women want?" - Sigmund Freud

"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar" - Sigmund Freud ... conundrum solved by President Clinton and Ms Lewinsky
---

"Man gets thrown from boat after marriage proposal fail in viral video" ... see what happens with women?
« Last Edit: September 28, 2020, 12:43:27 AM by Baruch »
Ha’át’íísh baa naniná?
Azee’ ła’ish nanídį́į́h?
Táadoo ánít’iní.
What are you doing?
Are you taking any medications?
Don't do that.

Re: Romantic Love
« Reply #42 on: September 28, 2020, 09:08:41 PM »
Is there a kind of love that's not romantic?
Not mentioning about the affection of a mother to her baby.
Love is by nature consists of romanticism.

Online Hydra009

Re: Romantic Love
« Reply #43 on: September 28, 2020, 09:55:20 PM »
If you have a high IQ and your romantic partner is lesser in that respect you will have many interesting conundrums. And also if they are not the skeptical type and you are.

 You have figured out the plot to a movie within the first 1/2 hour.. do you just keep your mouth shut? When as a passenger you calculate the next 3 likely traffic events about to occur.... they will lead to disaster and your loving partner at the wheel is oblivious. Do you just inhale and grip the dashboard? When the extended warranty seems like a good idea to them. When they are a financial mess and it is costing you both dearly. From booking flights to starting a BBQ grill they just fuck it up. Do you "help"?, LOL. When you know someone in your social circle is full of shit and your partner does not. Or it can be physical as well. Your lover has let himself go and is tired all the time. You are in tip-top shape. What to do?

There needs to be a deal. And it will not be romantic.
The right thing to do is to offer help, in the form of pointers or hands-on assistance.  If it's rejected, don't push it further.  If it's accepted, try to as assist as gingerly as possible so as to not offend the person receiving assistance - it helps to make it a joint effort.  Most people are very touchy about this sort of thing, interpreting poorly performing task as a personal failing (when the problem is likely due to a lack of knowledge or a bad habit or maybe it's just an inherently difficult task).

For the exercise problem, you may have to dig a little deeper to get to the root cause (exercise laxity could be a symptom of depression).  You have to talk about goals and where you two match up, then figure out how to get there.  It's perfectly reasonable for one person to want to be super-duper fit and the other person to want to be fairly fit and for both people to pursue their individual goals while respecting the other person's decision.

Personally, I've had a lot of problems with other people not respecting boundaries and trying to force their methodology/opinions/etc on me.  I'm naturally a fairly pliable person, and some people mistake that for me being their personal doormat.  I have since had to change my stance to being permanently on guard with such people, which I find exhausting and likely contributes to my introversion and mild misanthropy.

Change has to be self-chosen - if you're forcing someone to do what you want, not only are they not going to do it outside of your influence, they're likely angered by such intervention into their affairs and seek to change this dynamic.

I struggle with this a little myself, I tend to enthusiastically advertise my own interests and annoy people who may interpret that as me trying to 'force' them to like it too.  I have to make it clear that me saying "I like cheese!" or "provolone is the best cheese, imo!" does not in any way obligate someone else to like cheese or prevent them from declaring that they like some other cheese more.  My advertisement is more like an invitation than a command - the audience can agree or disagree or whatever and that's totally fine.  (though at the same time, if someone were to badmouth something I really love, I can't say that it wouldn't annoy me)
« Last Edit: September 28, 2020, 10:42:57 PM by Hydra009 »

Re: Romantic Love
« Reply #44 on: September 28, 2020, 10:28:35 PM »
It is a lot of work. When lifespans were only 40-ish years, you could deal with it. Now you may be together 60 or 70 years.....
I recall "The War of the Roses"

"Because. When I watch you eat. When I see you asleep. When I look at you lately, I just want to smash your face in.”