Author Topic: Christianity Defined  (Read 945 times)

Christianity Defined
« on: June 03, 2019, 08:42:04 PM »
I found You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login that provided what might be described as a β€œclothes-off” definition of Christianity. My paraphrase of that definition is the following:

    Christianity - the belief that some cosmic Jewish Guy-in-the-Sky who got a virgin pregnant with himself without a penis can make you live forever if you pretend to eat his flesh and drink his blood and also tell him telepathically that you accept him as your master to be obeyed at all cost even to the point of death the purpose of doing so being to have him remove an  independent, self-sufficient attitude from your mind that all people are born with and need to survive because a woman born as a rib was convinced by a talking snake to eat some fruit growing on a tree that magically gave her the ability to understand what is good and what is evil.

(Note that the vast majority of scholars are completely convinced that the Jewish Guy urging symbolic cannibalism and vampirism existed although many of them do not insist that his being in the sky and getting a virgin pregnant with himself is necessarily historical.)

Can anybody here point out any inaccuracies in this definition?

Yes, it's an absurd idea, but it is what Christians believe!

Re: Christianity Defined
« Reply #1 on: June 03, 2019, 08:50:26 PM »
Nope, looks about right to me! :-D

I didn't have time to watch the video, though, so I'll check it out tomorrow.
« Last Edit: June 03, 2019, 08:52:29 PM by Unbeliever »
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"An experiment is a question which science poses to Nature, and a measurement is the recording of Nature's answer."
Max Planck, Scientific Autobiography and Other Papers (1949)

Re: Christianity Defined
« Reply #2 on: June 03, 2019, 11:10:01 PM »
Love Carrier!!  Your definition sounds about right.
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent,
Is he able but not willing?
Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able or willing?
Then why call him god?

Offline Cavebear

Re: Christianity Defined
« Reply #3 on: June 04, 2019, 04:29:53 AM »
That seems about the right amount of "stupid" for all theisms...
Atheist born, atheist bred.  And when I die, atheist dead!

Offline Baruch

Re: Christianity Defined
« Reply #4 on: June 04, 2019, 05:52:21 AM »
The infancy gospel was only in one telling (in the canon).  There was another version outside of the canon.  But it wasn't essential to the story, in that the Gospel of Mark starts with the baptism of Jesus, and Paul starts with the crucifixion.

There wasn't just one story, or just one group.  The Last Temptation of Christ comes close as a story about the story.  Jesus was a failed messiah, and Paul was a con artist.

The reality of ancient religion isn't something we are familiar with today, blood animal sacrifice for instance.
πŽπŽœπŽœπŽŸπŽŒπŽ€πŽπŽŽπŽ€πŽ€πŽšπŽ€πŽŸπŽπŽœπŽœπŽŸπŽπŽ€πŽπŽ‰πŽ€πŽ€πŽšπŽ€
luu shalmaata luu balt’aata
May you be well, may you be healthy

Offline Cavebear

Re: Christianity Defined
« Reply #5 on: June 04, 2019, 06:02:18 AM »
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The infancy gospel was only in one telling (in the canon).  There was another version outside of the canon.  But it wasn't essential to the story, in that the Gospel of Mark starts with the baptism of Jesus, and Paul starts with the crucifixion.

There wasn't just one story, or just one group.  The Last Temptation of Christ comes close as a story about the story.  Jesus was a failed messiah, and Paul was a con artist.

The reality of ancient religion isn't something we are familiar with today, blood animal sacrifice for instance.

I sure won't disagree with you that "Jesus was a failed messiah, and Paul was a con artist",  But assuming that there really was a "jesus" is also an assumption.  There certainly may have been one of many wandering preachers,  but to me, by definition, they were all false given no actual deity they claimed to represent.
Atheist born, atheist bred.  And when I die, atheist dead!

Offline Baruch

Re: Christianity Defined
« Reply #6 on: June 04, 2019, 06:07:07 AM »
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I sure won't disagree with you that "Jesus was a failed messiah, and Paul was a con artist",  But assuming that there really was a "jesus" is also an assumption.  There certainly may have been one of many wandering preachers,  but to me, by definition, they were all false given no actual deity they claimed to represent.

There were false messiahs.  Doesn't really matter if one was named Jesus or not.  The idea that the messiah is false, pretty much cuts the Christians off at the knees regardless.

False Messiah = the Romans weren't magically destroyed.
πŽπŽœπŽœπŽŸπŽŒπŽ€πŽπŽŽπŽ€πŽ€πŽšπŽ€πŽŸπŽπŽœπŽœπŽŸπŽπŽ€πŽπŽ‰πŽ€πŽ€πŽšπŽ€
luu shalmaata luu balt’aata
May you be well, may you be healthy

Offline Cavebear

Re: Christianity Defined
« Reply #7 on: June 04, 2019, 06:24:26 AM »
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There were false messiahs.  Doesn't really matter if one was named Jesus or not.  The idea that the messiah is false, pretty much cuts the Christians off at the knees regardless.

False Messiah = the Romans weren't magically destroyed.

All messiahs are false by logic.  If one was real, we wouldn't be sitting around discussing it, would we?
Atheist born, atheist bred.  And when I die, atheist dead!

Re: Christianity Defined
« Reply #8 on: June 04, 2019, 08:56:35 AM »
The Jesus story could very easily be the rehashing of typical Cynic: a member of a school of ancient Greek philosophers founded by Antisthenes, marked by an ostentatious contempt for ease and pleasure. The movement flourished in the 3rd century BC and revived in the 1st century AD.

The Gospel of Thomas most likely came from such a source.
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent,
Is he able but not willing?
Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able or willing?
Then why call him god?

Offline Cavebear

Re: Christianity Defined
« Reply #9 on: June 04, 2019, 09:27:35 AM »
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The Jesus story could very easily be the rehashing of typical Cynic: a member of a school of ancient Greek philosophers founded by Antisthenes, marked by an ostentatious contempt for ease and pleasure. The movement flourished in the 3rd century BC and revived in the 1st century AD.

The Gospel of Thomas most likely came from such a source.

Or Mithras...
Atheist born, atheist bred.  And when I die, atheist dead!

Re: Christianity Defined
« Reply #10 on: June 04, 2019, 10:28:05 AM »
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Nope, looks about right to me! :-D

Over at Debating Christianity a Christian objected to my saying that Christians pretend to eat the flesh of Christ and drink Christ's blood--so he thinks it's the real deal!

Re: Christianity Defined
« Reply #11 on: June 04, 2019, 10:32:18 AM »
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Love Carrier!!  Your definition sounds about right.

There's nothing like telling people the "emperor is naked."


Offline Baruch

Re: Christianity Defined
« Reply #12 on: June 04, 2019, 11:16:06 AM »
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All messiahs are false by logic.  If one was real, we wouldn't be sitting around discussing it, would we?

All politicians are false, by brazen lying.
« Last Edit: June 04, 2019, 02:25:10 PM by Baruch »
πŽπŽœπŽœπŽŸπŽŒπŽ€πŽπŽŽπŽ€πŽ€πŽšπŽ€πŽŸπŽπŽœπŽœπŽŸπŽπŽ€πŽπŽ‰πŽ€πŽ€πŽšπŽ€
luu shalmaata luu balt’aata
May you be well, may you be healthy

Offline Baruch

Re: Christianity Defined
« Reply #13 on: June 04, 2019, 11:17:28 AM »
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Over at Debating Christianity a Christian objected to my saying that Christians pretend to eat the flesh of Christ and drink Christ's blood--so he thinks it's the real deal!

Yes, that is one theology.  But for Zwingli ... it wasn't the "real presence" or some variation, but "in remembrance".
πŽπŽœπŽœπŽŸπŽŒπŽ€πŽπŽŽπŽ€πŽ€πŽšπŽ€πŽŸπŽπŽœπŽœπŽŸπŽπŽ€πŽπŽ‰πŽ€πŽ€πŽšπŽ€
luu shalmaata luu balt’aata
May you be well, may you be healthy

Re: Christianity Defined
« Reply #14 on: June 04, 2019, 11:54:18 AM »
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Or Mithras...
And many, many others. 
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent,
Is he able but not willing?
Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able or willing?
Then why call him god?

 

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