Jesus entered the marketplace and sat beside the money-changers. He said, "Blessed be the elite, for they are the job creators!"
He then looked at the treasury where many rich people put in large sums. A poor widow came up and put in two copper coins. Agitated, Jesus shouted, "Why do you only have two copper coins?! Where is your wealth? My friend here - this guy can take a straw, dump it into the ground, and oil pours out. His hard work and ingenuity has earned him great sums of wealth. Where is your hard work?" The widow stood there, ashamed. Jesus admonished her again, "You should be inspired by this man to work hard and pull yourself up by the loose threads of your tunic. No matter. Depart from me, ye that work infrequently."
After the widow departed, Jesus grabbed large handfuls of coins from the treasury and said unto the money-changers. "Rejoice and be glad, for those whose wealth is great, so too is their reward in heaven!"