Help finding a book--an experiment in crowdsourcing

[Poison Tree]

There was a library book I read 5 or 7 years ago which I which I would like to find again, but I don't remember the name of it. So, I figured I'd describe parts of the plot I remember in the hope that someone else will recognize it and know what I'm talking about.

A publish company is trying to convince an author to sign up with them. He is curious as to how far they are willing to go, so he asks if they would be willing to get rid of some other author, one he picked specifically because this other author is known for being a really nice guy and only a mediocre writer. For some reason the head of the publishing company decides to higher two hit-men to kill this other author, but the two assassins want to follow the other author around to see if he deserves to die before taking any further action. The first author, not wanting the other author to actually be killed, highers a body guard for him--a man who, it turns out, used to work with the two killers. Some other people (people who I can no longer remember clearly) decide to take it upon themselves to try to protect the other author.

There is one memorable scene involving the other author, two killers, the body guard and 3 of these other people in, I think, Pittsburgh or Philadelphia (although I'm not certain it was actually either city). The two assassins are sitting at a bar, unaware that the body guard is behind them. One of them reaches for a pack of gum, a move the body guard mistakes as going for a gun, so he fires a warning shot. One of the extra people--all three of whom are out on the street--, hearing the shot, attempts to pull out a gun hidden in a hollowed out book, but accidentally fires it, sending the book somersaulting through the air. The second extra person, driving by in his car, hides below the dash sending his car careening out of control down. The third pulls out a shot gun she has concealed in a baby carriage. The other author has stepped into a store and is oblivious to all of this, while the two hit-men are left to wonder what kind of crazy town they've stepped into where people hide shotguns in baby carriages.

In the end the two hit-men decide not to kill the other author and instead confront the publisher--forcing him to increase advertizing to insure the other author's next book is a more successful--and the first author to tell him to quit fucking with people's lives. The first author defends himself by saying he brought in the body guard--who these two eventually had eventually recognized--and asked "didn't he tell you." One of the hit-men replies that in their line of work you don't just walk up to someone, even an old friend, and say "guess who I just got highered to whack"


Well, I'd really appreciate any help in identifying this book. I have my doubts that I've managed to describe the book adequately, and there is always the chance no one will have read it, but it is not like it costs me anything to ask.

[Solitary]

I will put my idiot savant son on this search. Will get back if he remembers. He's sleeping now. Solitary

[Smartmarzipan]

That sounds really good, I hope someone knows the name of it. So, bumpity bump.

[the_antithesis]

BAM!

[spoil:3p6g98ci]Foul Matter by Martha Grimes

From Publishers Weekly
Red pencils draw real blood in this delightful publishing world crime spoof by Grimes, expert storyteller and bestselling author of the Richard Jury mysteries (The Man with a Load of Mischief, etc.). When Paul Giverney, a hot suspense novelist, seeks a new publisher, he decides on the house of Mackensie-Haack under the condition that they dump their highly respected and award-winning author, Ned Isaly. Ruthless president Bobby Mackensie will stop at nothing to sign Giverney, even though breaking Isaly's contract is a legal impossibility. His solution? Sign another contract-this one with two hit men, who are hired to knock off Isaly. What Mackensie doesn't know is that Candy and Karl are killers with scruples and a keen interest in literature. Isaly, meanwhile, is totally engrossed in finishing his current novel and barely notices the two men as they mingle with Isaly and his friends at popular New York City literary watering holes. Not even when a multitude of bumblers follow him on a visit to his hometown of Pittsburgh-in one of the most humorous episodes in the book-does he realize his plight. Although verging on the caricaturish, the characters are memorable, especially the hit-men duo. Insider publishing lingo, a quirky plot, atmospheric settings and Grimes's dry sense of humor make this a delectable bonbon of a book.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.[/spoil:3p6g98ci]

[Solitary]

The book may be "Foul Matter" by Martha Grimes. Solitary

[Solitary]

There was a library book I read 5 or 7 years ago which I which I would like to find again, but I don't remember the name of it. So, I figured I'd describe parts of the plot I remember in the hope that someone else will recognize it and know what I'm talking about.

A publish company is trying to convince an author to sign up with them. He is curious as to how far they are willing to go, so he asks if they would be willing to get rid of some other author, one he picked specifically because this other author is known for being a really nice guy and only a mediocre writer. For some reason the head of the publishing company decides to higher two hit-men to kill this other author, but the two assassins want to follow the other author around to see if he deserves to die before taking any further action. The first author, not wanting the other author to actually be killed, highers a body guard for him--a man who, it turns out, used to work with the two killers. Some other people (people who I can no longer remember clearly) decide to take it upon themselves to try to protect the other author.

There is one memorable scene involving the other author, two killers, the body guard and 3 of these other people in, I think, Pittsburgh or Philadelphia (although I'm not certain it was actually either city). The two assassins are sitting at a bar, unaware that the body guard is behind them. One of them reaches for a pack of gum, a move the body guard mistakes as going for a gun, so he fires a warning shot. One of the extra people--all three of whom are out on the street--, hearing the shot, attempts to pull out a gun hidden in a hollowed out book, but accidentally fires it, sending the book somersaulting through the air. The second extra person, driving by in his car, hides below the dash sending his car careening out of control down. The third pulls out a shot gun she has concealed in a baby carriage. The other author has stepped into a store and is oblivious to all of this, while the two hit-men are left to wonder what kind of crazy town they've stepped into where people hide shotguns in baby carriages.

In the end the two hit-men decide not to kill the other author and instead confront the publisher--forcing him to increase advertizing to insure the other author's next book is a more successful--and the first author to tell him to quit fucking with people's lives. The first author defends himself by saying he brought in the body guard--who these two eventually had eventually recognized--and asked "didn't he tell you." One of the hit-men replies that in their line of work you don't just walk up to someone, even an old friend, and say "guess who I just got highered to whack"


Well, I'd really appreciate any help in identifying this book. I have my doubts that I've managed to describe the book adequately, and there is always the chance no one will have read it, but it is not like it costs me anything to ask.

The book may be "Foul Matter" by Martha Grimes. Solitary

[Poison Tree]

=D>
Thanks the_antithesis and Solitary.
And my local library even has a copy available on CD; alright, going to the library tomorrow (man, I must have a sad life that I'm so excited over this).

Quick work; a very successful experiment in crowdsourcing.

[GalacticBusDriver]

Maybe you guys can help me out. Like Poison Tree, I've been trying to find a book I read years ago and cannot remember the title.

Fantasy novel set aboard a ship (pirate maybe) that can sail into the horizon and travel incredible distances and to another/parallel world. It starts with an attack on an English office and kidnapping of a secretary and ends with a celebration in the Caribbean where Anansi possesses the main character.

[the_antithesis]

Maybe you guys can help me out. Like Poison Tree, I've been trying to find a book I read years ago and cannot remember the title.

Fantasy novel set aboard a ship (pirate maybe) that can sail into the horizon and travel incredible distances and to another/parallel world. It starts with an attack on an English office and kidnapping of a secretary and ends with a celebration in the Caribbean where Anansi possesses the main character.

Unfortunately, I came up empty this time. Well, I found plenty of books, just none that seemed to fit the description you gave. Searching for Anansi is fucking useless, incidentally, thanks to that asshole Neil Gaiman.

The description of a ship that "sails into the horizon" is traditional to the folkloric Flying Dutchman, but there's precious few books that deal with it, oddly. But none of the fantasy books involving it begin with an attack on an office, that I could find.

The office attack is the sticky bit. Reminds me of Monty Python's Crimson Permanent Assurance. Most of the stuff involving pirates were straight up fantasy or historical novels, one involving Ben fucking Franklin. None of this coming to the modern day to lay waste to an office and kidnap a secretary.

So any other details you can think of would be helpful as fuck.