Or maybe we'll just start with "do you know how to program?"
I'm a professional PHP programmer by trade, but I think the language is kinda shitty.
At home I mostly program in Lua right now, which is awesome. For something as old at it is, it seems to be able to do a few things that I haven't really seen any other language do. Like multiple return values on functions. Or variable swapping.
I write software for a living. I primarily write in C#. The websites I do for work are in ASP.net and JavaScript. I use a lot of SQL as well. I used VB in my last job.
Back in college, I primarily used C and Java. I also dabbled in Python, Pascal, Scheme (derived from LISP), and Bash.
For fun, I do Doom modding. That's primarily in something called DECORATE, and the scripts are in ACS (Action Combat Script. Heavily C-based).