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Offensive Jokes Thread

Started by Halkenburg, January 25, 2019, 10:57:07 PM

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Baruch

Quote from: Mr.Obvious on March 12, 2019, 07:31:54 AM


I know that code!  That is part of the punched tape stored program for early Star Trek games on an ASW-33 teletype, from when I was in HS ;-)  That game allowed the neatest tactical move.  Turn based play.  But yourself directly between two Klingon ships, then warp out of there.  They end up shooting each other!
Ha’át’íísh baa naniná?
Azee’ Å,a’ish nanídį́į́h?
Táadoo ánít’iní.
What are you doing?
Are you taking any medications?
Don't do that.

PopeyesPappy

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, What am I doing? I'm too old for this, and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
Save a life. Adopt a Greyhound.


Cassia

My neighbor was banging on my door at 3 AM last night. Can you believe that? Fortunately I was still up playing my accordion.
He started shouting “Can we have a little respect please?”
So I yelled back I wasn’t a big Aretha Franklin fan, but I’ll try to learn it for next time.