Offensive Jokes Thread

[Halkenburg]

We had this thread on TTA back when the forum was still up, it was pretty popular back then so I figure I might start it over here too and see if people like the idea.

Post your best offensive jokes in this thread. I'll start!

I had to take a biology exam the other day. One of the questions in the exam was "Name something commonly found in cells." Apparently, "black people" wasn't the right answer.

[Mike Cl]

Did you day you are from 'southern' Bavaria??

[Halkenburg]

Did you day you are from 'southern' Bavaria??

That's right. Why do you ask?

[Mike Cl]

That's right. Why do you ask?

That joke would be popular in the 'southern' part of this country.

[Halkenburg]

That joke would be popular in the 'southern' part of this country.

Hope I didn't cause any genuine offense. I don't have bad intentions. :-/

[Blackleaf]

While I would say many people are much too sensitive about race jokes, the use of the N word is a bit excessive. I'd have a few questions about people who'd think this was funny. There was a guy here before. Big troll, and white supremacist. He made a similar thread before he eventually got banned. I'm sure you're not like this guy, but a good comedian has to know his audience. Know what he can get away with, and what will get him burned at the stake.

[Halkenburg]

While I would say many people are much too sensitive about race jokes, the use of the N word is a bit excessive. I'd have a few questions about people who'd think this was funny. There was a guy here before. Big troll, and white supremacist. He made a similar thread before he eventually got banned. I'm sure you're not like this guy, but a good comedian has to know his audience. Know what he can get away with, and what will get him burned at the stake.

My bad, I edited out the n-word and replaced it with "black people." Hope that makes it more acceptable! On TTA, this sort of humor was well-liked, but I realize that this place has its own set of views and principles.

[Mike Cl]

My idea of a tasteless joke. 
What is the name of an armless, legless person in your swimming pool?  Bob.  On your front porch? Matt.

Why do elephants wear springs on their feet?  So they can rape monkeys.  What is the worst sound a monkey can hear?  Sprong-sprong.............
(From the era of the elephant jokes) Why do elephants paint their toenails red?  To hide in the strawberry patch. 
Why do elephants have big balls?  They like to dance.

From the era of the ethnic jokes.  Why do fly's have wings?  To beat (insert any group) to the trash cans.
What is the smallest book in the world?  (Insert any group) book of war heroes.
What does a (insert any group)bride wear to her wedding?  A bowling shirt.

[aitm]

We had a thread like this before. There are very few offensive jokes that I like, and it turns out that most people despite the occasional guffaw don't really like them either. Eventually I just shut it down as a bad idea. I have a feeling this will have the same success.

[Baruch]

My bad, I edited out the n-word and replaced it with "black people." Hope that makes it more acceptable! On TTA, this sort of humor was well-liked, but I realize that this place has its own set of views and principles.

"negro" is perfectly OK in Spanish.  Too bad Anglophones have no humor.

[Baruch]

We had a thread like this before. There are very few offensive jokes that I like, and it turns out that most people despite the occasional guffaw don't really like them either. Eventually I just shut it down as a bad idea. I have a feeling this will have the same success.

Probably so.  Mostly politics here is a joke, and nobody is enjoying it ;-(

As the token theist ... here is mine ...

Texans are naturally obnoxious.  The other people around him hate him (he isn't in Texas).  So they drug him, and place him in a fresh open grave at the local cemetery.  When the Texan wakes up, he stands up in the grave, looks around, and doesn't see anyone else ... he says "Glory be it is resurrection day, and Texans are first!".

I can say this because I am Texan and a theist.

[Blackleaf]

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

Why do orphans suck at baseball?

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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What's the difference between me and cancer?

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.

[Unbeliever]

My idea of a tasteless joke. 
What is the name of an armless, legless person in your swimming pool?  Bob.  On your front porch? Matt.

In the sky over Baghdad?

Sam

[Unbeliever]

Do vegans eat pussy?

[Unbeliever]

Why did Monica Lewinski move to Cuba?


She heard Castro had bigger cigars.