No Prison Sentence for Kidnapping, Strangling, Masturbating on Woman

[Cavebear]

Good, your mother touched you as an infant ... arrest her now!

Good luck on that.  She's dead.

[Baruch]

Good luck on that.  She's dead.

Always the literalism.  You would make a good religious fundamentalist.

[Cavebear]

Always the literalism.  You would make a good religious fundamentalist.

Yes, I could have been.  But then I turned 10 or something...  Adult brain cells organized.

[Baruch]

Yes, I could have been.  But then I turned 10 or something...  Adult brain cells organized.

Yes, you became a different flavor of fundamentalist, the opposite of Cotton Mather.  Not that there is anything wrong with that.

[trdsf]

I have tried to find stories of rapists who raped male victims not being arrested too, but again, it's hard to find reports of male rape victims itself, which makes you realise just how many rapists who do this aren't even caught

What I have to tell happened over 40 years ago, and before today, I never spoke of it to anyone.  I had mostly put it out of my mind, but I've been thinking of it because of the events of the last week.  I can’t pin down a date any more than probably the summer of 1975.  And I know that it is very, very minor compared to what happened to Dr Blasey Ford and so many other victims.

I was eleven (assuming summer of 1975) and biking home, taking a shortcut through the parking lot of St Mary Magdalene church, approaching the gate that marked the border between the parish/school property and the public high school.  A couple of (I assumed) high school aged girls beckoned me over, and I went to see what they wanted.

In very short order, one was on the front of my bike and one on the back, blocking my progress.  And I very clearly remember one of them saying to me, “You know what we’re going to do to you, little boy? We’re going to rape you.”

Now, I had no idea what that word meant.  Rape wasn't part of my eleven year old consciousness.  I genuinely didn't know what I was being threatened with.

Instead, I processed it as yet another form of bullying, with which I was intimately familiar, and immediately resorted to my usual (and generally successful) tactic: don’t let the bully know they’re bothering you.  I affected to shrug it off with something like “So?” or “Whatever” or something along those lines.

I don’t remember much else. It was only a matter of a minute or two later that â€" I assume disappointed that they didn't get the reaction they wanted, which leads me to think bullying was much more a part of it than anything else â€" they let me go on my way otherwise unmolested.  I only now realize that I got off easier than most, and that events could have been very different.

Could I describe them to you now?  Not beyond “blonde high school girls”, no.  Could I tell you their names?  No.  Could I tell you the date?  No.  Could I tell you the other events of that day?  No.

Pursuant to that, do I believe Dr Christine Blasey Ford?  Absolutely.

That said: the existence of sexual abuse of males has nothing whatsoever to do with the OP.  I am not going to suggest this was the intent, but it does have the flavor of being a distraction by implying that what happened to the victims who've come forward wasn't so bad because there are other victims who never get to tell their story.

And also, 81% of the victims of sexual abuse by Catholic priests were male.  So it's not exactly invisible and unreported.

[Baruch]

That was brave of you to speak of this.  You were bullied, and if they touched you sexually, then you were sexually abused.  What is rape?  I assume that means penetration of the mouth or anus with a penis.  But that isn't the only sexual abuse.  I am sorry that happened to you.  It shouldn't have happened.

As to what happened with Dr Ford, you and I don't know, because we weren't there.  Maybe something did happen, and maybe she brought it on herself (drunk etc).  We don't now.  Of course if she was sexually abused, then that was wrong, of course.  It is wrong to physically abuse anyone.  And being in some elite school, or the other guys are doing it, doesn't excuse it.  I would assume that young men raised in exclusive schools anywhere, are monstrous.  Like their parents.  I would have some prejudice against Kavanaugh, just because of his class.  I know how people of that class think.

[Munch]

I'm glad nothing happened to you trdsf. When I was a kid I was never bullied to that degree but was always picked on because of things like my dyslexia or glasses or that I was socially awkward. I'm honestly lucky never having been faced with the possibility of sexual assault.

[Cavebear]

When I was a freshman in college, we took "Phys Ed".  One week of that involved swimming and diving.  We were told that bathing suits were not allowed because of "lint problems".  Yeah, that is obviously stupid now and the teacher was definitely a bit warped.  I went along with it because all the other guys did. Authority mattered back then. 

I suppose I should have just gone to the Dean and mentioned it, but at the time it was more "annoying" than serious.  If any of the other students raised the subject as being more "engaged" with the teacher, I would support them.  But it didn't have any lasting personal effect on me. 

But these things do happen and sometimes have greater consequences.  In my case, it made little difference beyond vague suspicion and annoyance.  I was not touched, invited to anything, nor further disturbed.   I have sometimes wondered about some of the other students. 

It was obviously, in hindsight. something wrong going on.  I was too unsure of myself to speak out because no one else did.   But that how those things work.