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Christian talk show host: Masturbation is gay

Started by Hydra009, April 05, 2018, 12:11:57 AM

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Hydra009

And if that's true, then I'm the gayest, flamingest, prettiest princess who ever lived!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTFVTKOlybA

Also, it's strange that he's eager to talk about sex (with particular interest in homosexuality) but can't quite bring himself to tackle the dreaded o-word.  Edging?  We've all been there.  But sometimes you just have to give in, open your mouth, and just go for it without stopping till you're done.

Cavebear

Quote from: Hydra009 on April 05, 2018, 12:11:57 AM
And if that's true, then I'm the gayest, flamingest, prettiest princess who ever lived!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTFVTKOlybA

Also, it's strange that he's eager to talk about sex (with particular interest in homosexuality) but can't quite bring himself to tackle the dreaded o-word.  Edging?  We've all been there.  But sometimes you just have to give in, open your mouth, and just go for it without stopping till you're done.

Well it is sort of one-sided...  LOL!
Atheist born, atheist bred.  And when I die, atheist dead!

Baruch

If masturbation makes you blind, then I bet this guy can't see his own video ;-)
Ha’át’íísh baa naniná?
Azee’ Å,a’ish nanídį́į́h?
Táadoo ánít’iní.
What are you doing?
Are you taking any medications?
Don't do that.

GSOgymrat

I suspect Coach Dave is trying to associate masturbation with homosexuality to deter young men from a practice he considers against Christian values. I also suspect he knows this interpretation is a stretch but if it keeps one person from masturbating he probably thinks it is justified. Fundamentalists frequently make these kinds of false associations, e.g. sinful behavior results in natural disasters. His association of orgasms with bowel movements makes sense because both are considered by fundamentalists unclean and degrading, as opposed to the spiritual and beyond the body. People like Coach Dave and I have completely different value systems and the chances we could anything better than tolerate one another is unlikely.

Cavebear

Quote from: GSOgymrat on April 05, 2018, 12:54:55 AM
I suspect Coach Dave is trying to associate masturbation with homosexuality to deter young men from a practice he considers against Christian values. I also suspect he knows this interpretation is a stretch but if it keeps one person from masturbating he probably thinks it is justified. Fundamentalists frequently make these kinds of false associations, e.g. sinful behavior results in natural disasters. His association of orgasms with bowel movements makes sense because both are considered by fundamentalists unclean and degrading, as opposed to the spiritual and beyond the body. People like Coach Dave and I have completely different value systems and the chances we could anything better than tolerate one another is unlikely.

On the other hand, he might just simply be insane as as many theists are.
Atheist born, atheist bred.  And when I die, atheist dead!

PickelledEggs


Cavebear

Quote from: PickelledEggs on April 05, 2018, 01:29:08 AM
I must be really gay, then

I don't see how getting physical pleasure/release ion your own is wrong.  It seems pretty harmless and natural.
Atheist born, atheist bred.  And when I die, atheist dead!

PickelledEggs

Quote from: Cavebear on April 05, 2018, 01:36:18 AM
I don't see how getting physical pleasure/release ion your own is wrong.  It seems pretty harmless and natural.
Yeah, me neither... But I guess that is where the saying "this is so good it's a sin" comes from

Sent from my Nexus 6 using Tapatalk


Unbeliever

The guy's just trying to save money for people in the afterlife, since, according to Father Guido Sarducci, masterbation in this life costs you money in the afterlife (as do other sins, but masturbation really adds up!)


Quote from: Father Guido Sarducci (Don Novello)
Life is a job. You get $14.50 a day, but after you die, you have to pay for your sins. Stealing a hub cap is around $100. Masturbation is 35 cents (it doesn't seem like much, but it adds up). If there's money left when you subtract what you owe from what you've earned, you can go to heaven. If not, you have to go back to work. (Sort of like reincarnation -- many nuns are Mafia guys working it off.)
God Not Found
"There is a sucker born-again every minute." - C. Spellman

Unbeliever

Quote from: Cavebear on April 05, 2018, 01:36:18 AM
I don't see how getting physical pleasure/release ion your own is wrong.  It seems pretty harmless and natural.
Hell, some religious folks think that any kind of pleasure at all is horribly sinful - dancing, music, food. As a Southern Baptist I was forbidden from dancing when I was a kid. Still don't know how, when I dance I look like Gomez Addams trying to dance.

God Not Found
"There is a sucker born-again every minute." - C. Spellman

Shiranu

I mean, you do have a dude's dick in your hand and are normally quite enthusiastic about jerking it... that is a little gay, if you don't actually think about it.
"A little science distances you from God, but a lot of science brings you nearer to Him." - Louis Pasteur

Unbeliever

God Not Found
"There is a sucker born-again every minute." - C. Spellman

Munch

does it count a double gay if you jerk off your boyfriend?

Does it count as quad points if you do so with two boyfriends same time?

I'd like to know his scoring system.
'Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners' - George Carlin

Baruch

Quote from: Munch on April 05, 2018, 08:03:08 PM
does it count a double gay if you jerk off your boyfriend?

Does it count as quad points if you do so with two boyfriends same time?

I'd like to know his scoring system.

TMI or TMP?
Ha’át’íísh baa naniná?
Azee’ Å,a’ish nanídį́į́h?
Táadoo ánít’iní.
What are you doing?
Are you taking any medications?
Don't do that.

Hydra009

Quote from: Shiranu on April 05, 2018, 03:12:14 PM
I mean, you do have a dude's dick in your hand and are normally quite enthusiastic about jerking it... that is a little gay, if you don't actually think about it.
Yeah, but it's your dick.  If it was some other guy's dick, then yeah, that's pretty gay.  Unless you're practicing for straight sex.  That doesn't count, right guys?  Asking for a friend...