Talking To Theists You Don't Want To Offend

Started by Cavebear, March 26, 2018, 10:33:41 PM

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Munch

Quote from: GSOgymrat on March 27, 2018, 07:35:35 PM
Do you get many proselytizers at your door? I'm curious how it is in various countries.

Like say round here we occasionally get Jehovah's witnesses knocking at the door, they knock and the second you open they start rambling with the offer for salvation, who I quickly reject with a simple no thank you.
'Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners' - George Carlin

Draconic Aiur

I try. However the temptation to explain my views, make them see through my eyes, or call them dumbfuck is ginormous. I end up saying walking away.

trdsf

If I'm asked, I'll answer.  It's not my responsibility as to whether or not they like the answer.  And it has periodically completely flummoxed co-workers.  One told me she couldn't believe I was really an atheist because I'm "so nice".  I did point out to her that atheists are nice people too...

I don't care if they have religious stuff up in their cubicles, that's their space, if that makes it a comfortable working environment for them, fine.  I have inspirational posters up in my cube too: the Pale Blue Dot, with Sagan's commentary beneath, and Apollo 8's Earthrise, with some comments about the planet from Douglas Adams appended thereto.

Meanwhile this weekend, I'll be enjoying a kosher-for-Passover Easter dinner with friends -- he's Jewish but only fully observant on the holy days, she's I think Northern Baptist (whichever church it is, she's Irish Protestant), and I'm starting to suspect their daughter is Cthulhutarian.  Bob only knows what their son believes; I don't think he's given it much thought.  And of course, the dogs worship them, and the cats expect worship from them.  Being an atheist in that group is nothing odd; we just don't discuss it, as it has nothing to do with our mutual friendship, and we respect each others' rights to hold our own beliefs in peaceâ€"we do the same with politics, as they're (moderate) Republicans and I'm a rock-ribbed Liberal.  We enjoy each others' company too much to want to obtrude a debate on our friendship.
"My faith in the Constitution is whole, it is complete, it is total, and I am not going to sit here and be an idle spectator to the diminution, the subversion, the destruction of the Constitution." -- Barbara Jordan

Shiranu

QuoteIf I'm asked, I'll answer.  It's not my responsibility as to whether or not they like the answer.

This, which is probably why I haven't said I am an atheist in a good six or more years. At least here in Central Texas, no one cares if you are religious or not... at least not in the communities I hang out with.
"A little science distances you from God, but a lot of science brings you nearer to Him." - Louis Pasteur

Baruch

An Irish Protestant could be either Anglican (moderate) or Presbyterian (extreme).  Are they from Dublin or Belfast?
Ha’át’íísh baa naniná?
Azee’ Å,a’ish nanídį́į́h?
Táadoo ánít’iní.
What are you doing?
Are you taking any medications?
Don't do that.

trdsf

This, by the way, is the friend I usually refer to as Evil Twin... insofar as we are each other's Evil Twin: me: gay, atheist and liberal; he: straight, theistic and conservative.

Actually, he self-identifies as a moderate now... but that's only because even he thinks what they call conservatism nowadays is completely fucked up.
"My faith in the Constitution is whole, it is complete, it is total, and I am not going to sit here and be an idle spectator to the diminution, the subversion, the destruction of the Constitution." -- Barbara Jordan

Blackleaf

Quote from: trdsf on March 28, 2018, 08:23:43 PM
This, by the way, is the friend I usually refer to as Evil Twin... insofar as we are each other's Evil Twin: me: gay, atheist and liberal; he: straight, theistic and conservative.

Actually, he self-identifies as a moderate now... but that's only because even he thinks what they call conservatism nowadays is completely fucked up.

Well... He isn't wrong.
"Oh, wearisome condition of humanity,
Born under one law, to another bound;
Vainly begot, and yet forbidden vanity,
Created sick, commanded to be sound."
--Fulke Greville--

PickelledEggs

I live near NYC, so I have a hefty load of atheist friends, to the point that I am so accustom to speaking with atheists that I forget that not everyone is an atheist. For the most part religion/superstition doesn't come up, but when it does, I don't hold back my quick-witted remarks about it. This isn't to insult the people I'm talking to, I say this thinking my audience would think it's funny or amusing or at least connect with it.

There are occasions where someone would say something religious to me and family, or stranger or whatever, I usually just reply with something like "I'm an atheist, but thank you"

It usually gets dropped there, but if it doesn't it goes one of two ways
The first way is more common, the second less so:
The first way is that we get in to a discussion and it goes smoothly/respectfully. I don't hold back with my criticisms, but I make sure that I am critical of the belief and not the people. The religious person usually sees that atheists aren't that bad or already felt that way in the first place and we go on our way, agreeing to disagree. I'm not going to change their mind, and they aren't going to change my mind. I do hope I planted some intellectual seeds that cause them to think about what they currently believe and move forward in life without being intellectually stunted by their belief system, though.

The second way is that they are initially persistent/hostile/assertive and want to have me pray participate with them while they pray for me or just plain insist on arguing with me.

In that case, I take it as it comes and I address each of these instances differently... anywhere from walking away, to talking back to them right to their face and everything in between.

I have rarely got in to a discussion about religion, since realizing I was an atheist over 10 years ago with my extended family, but it's usually the first one with them. Very short and respectful. If anything, if it starts leaning towards the second one, I still don't hold back and I treat them like I would anyone else and be honest about it. Same thing with friends. I have a few still that are religious, christian, muslim, jewish.... In fact the subject came up with one of my closest friends, who happens to be very devoted as a christian, but when we discuss religion, which it sometimes comes up, we tend to agree about the points we're discussing. In the case with him, I don't look to change his faith, because it's utterly harmless.

In terms of other friends though, I have discarded them without hesitation. It was always mutual, though. You could always tell they didn't want anything to do with me anyway, being a filthy hell-bound heathen. We've gotten in to arguments about things, it would usually come to a point where they would say something like "I respect your opinion, but you shouldn't say that" which is completely contradictory of it's self... in one sentence. I have enough friends to not have to deal with that crap. If someone is too religious for it to be persistent in our interactions, I can find new friends where it wouldn't be the case.

Life is too short for that shit. Luckily I life in an area where I know I can find more non-religious people, if need be... which, it's always nice to find more anyway, but you get the point. Plus with facebook groups and shit, it's insanely easy to network and find more nonreligious people in your area. I think Meetup also has some communities.

I tangented.... whatever. Uhhh I hope I was of some help lol

Cavebear

Quote from: Mike Cl on March 27, 2018, 11:46:07 AM
Well, Cavebear, it depends upon what I am feeling like.  Each case is separate.  If I have time/energy, I'll tackle it.  But in this county, I just basically keep my mouth shut; I live in 'Little Alabama' part of CA.  One could cut out this part of CA, move it to Alabama, and they would fit in quite well.

We are pretty much on the same page here Mike Cl.  If I have time and a civil approach in mind, I will ask questions.  When I get "Oh Thank You God And Your Given Son Jesus From Whom All Blessings Flow", vs "Bless You"  I am inclined to react a bit more strongly than to the former than than the latter.    There is a point of obnoxious assumption that crosses the line for me.

But do understand that I never start a response to theists with "You stupid moron".

I save that for my friends. LOL!  Because I expect they can handle it and my silly theist friends on non-atheist sites probably can't.  Yup. I'm more challenging to intelligent people than theist morons.
Atheist born, atheist bred.  And when I die, atheist dead!

Baruch

Quote from: Cavebear on March 29, 2018, 08:30:03 PM
We are pretty much on the same page here Mike Cl.  If I have time and a civil approach in mind, I will ask questions.  When I get "Oh Thank You God And Your Given Son Jesus From Whom All Blessings Flow", vs "Bless You"  I am inclined to react a bit more strongly than to the former than than the latter.    There is a point of obnoxious assumption that crosses the line for me.

But do understand that I never start a response to theists with "You stupid moron".

I save that for my friends. LOL!  Because I expect they can handle it and my silly theist friends on non-atheist sites probably can't.  Yup. I'm more challenging to intelligent people than theist morons.

As always, you think so highly of yourself ...
Ha’át’íísh baa naniná?
Azee’ Å,a’ish nanídį́į́h?
Táadoo ánít’iní.
What are you doing?
Are you taking any medications?
Don't do that.

Unbeliever

God Not Found
"There is a sucker born-again every minute." - C. Spellman

PickelledEggs

Quote from: Baruch on March 30, 2018, 12:53:23 AM
As always, you think so highly of yourself ...
No one thinks as highly of themselves as you do of yourself, Baruch. Let's be clear on that one

Baruch

#27
Quote from: Unbeliever on March 30, 2018, 01:25:39 PM
What - and you don't?

I actually think people are equal.  Equally bad.

Y'all can join a monastery of flagellants .. if you actually hate yourselves.  Not?  Didn't think so.
Ha’át’íísh baa naniná?
Azee’ Å,a’ish nanídį́į́h?
Táadoo ánít’iní.
What are you doing?
Are you taking any medications?
Don't do that.

Unbeliever

#28
Flagellants - like these guys?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4q6eaLn2mY


[edit]
I'd want to be the guy holding the flag/banner, or whatever that it he's carrying.
[/edit]
God Not Found
"There is a sucker born-again every minute." - C. Spellman

Unbeliever

God Not Found
"There is a sucker born-again every minute." - C. Spellman