Author Topic: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?  (Read 2737 times)

Online Hydra009

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #15 on: March 26, 2018, 03:31:40 PM »
The funniest thing I ever saw:

I was at a dog park and this tiny, trembly little Chihuahua was face-humping a big German Shepherd.  That little chihuahua was really going for it with every fiber of its being.  And the German Shepherd didn't seem to mind all that much.

I almost died laughing.  The absurdity of it, the Chihuahua's o-face, the German Shepherd's zen-like patience, and the extreme taboo breach made it irresitably funny to me.

I didn't just laugh, I dropped to my knees laughing.  I cried laughing.  I cramped from laughter.  And I probably would've died laughing if my brother hadn't escorted me away.

The last thing I saw when I looked back was a mortified dog owner running to intervene.  Her distressed expression triggered another laughing fit before I could finally calm down.
« Last Edit: March 27, 2018, 12:38:47 AM by Hydra009 »

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #16 on: March 26, 2018, 04:58:05 PM »
About forty years ago I got suckered into going with some lady friends to a strip joint that employed male dancer. No big deal, I was used to showering with half the Engineering Dept. when we were at sea. However, I didn't know it was amatuer night. I am not, and never have been bashful, so this one would go in the funny side,  because nobody has ever accused me of being able to dance. (The audience really didn't seem to care, however.)
We 'new atheists' have a reputation for being militant, but make no mistake  we didn't start this war. If you want to place blame put it on the the religious zealots who have been poisoning the minds of the  young for a long long time."
PZ Myers

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #17 on: March 26, 2018, 05:14:18 PM »
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The funniest thing I ever saw:

I was at a dog park and this tiny, trembly little Chihuahua was face-humping a big German Shepherd.  That little chihuahua was really going for it with every fiber of its being.  And the German Shepherd didn't seem to mind all that much.

I almost died laughing.  The absurdity of it, the Chihuahua's o-face, the German Shepherd's zen-like patience, and the extreme taboo breech made it irresitably funny to me.

I didn't just laugh, I dropped to my knees laughing.  I cried laughing.  I cramped from laughter.  And I probably would've died laughing if my brother hadn't escorted me away.

The last thing I saw when I looked back was a mortified dog owner running to intervene.  Her distressed expression triggered another laughing fit before I could finally calm down.

We have a papillon that use to do that to our beagle out in the yard. Our neighbor use to tell me that every time he saw it he would just laugh. (apparently it happened on a regular basis...)
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Offline Cavebear

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #18 on: March 27, 2018, 01:53:39 AM »
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The internet has ruined me.

First off, I've gotta say that I have a pretty dark and twisted sense of humor.  Heavily black and blue.

So I'm around family, browsing reddit and I see that joke about Guy Ferrari.  The one where he slathers BBQ sauce on a bullet, loads it into a revolver, and mutters to himself, "One last trip to Flavortown"

Maybe I was just easily amused that day, but I bust up laughing.  My mom turns around and asks me what I'm laughing at.

OH SHIT.  Gotta lie fast!  I make up some bullshit about a cat licking a deer's face.  She says "that's not very funny".  No shit.

And the thing is, she's the kind of person who gets deeply offended by jokes, so I have to be extra careful around her.  Essentially, Mrs Broflovski  in the flesh.  Makes for some very awkward situations.

I actually think the BBQ bullet was pointless in any practicality but kind of funny in concept.

And people with no sense of humor drive me nuts. 
Atheist born, atheist bred.  And when I die, atheist dead!

Offline Baruch

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #19 on: March 30, 2018, 07:05:53 AM »
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I'm pretty ope about things, right?  I don't lie or hide things.

So here;s the sitch.  I was 16, just having my driver liscence and all and was the eldest brother.  My younger nrother by 2 years was along on a fishing trip.  Some older guys told us about a small bay 1/2 mile down the abandoned railroad tracks (and the really were abandoned) where the fishing for bass was better (and they weren't lying, it was just a pain to get to.  So of course off we went!

And the fishing was good.  We caught more bass and larger ones there in one hour than we had caught at the more convenient spot in days.  So we caught almost a dozen (all catch and release on barbless hooks because that's what we did).  I squatted down to pick one up carefully (not by the jaw like the cruelly show on TV fishing shows)m,

And did a half poop!  I was surprised (to say it mildly), and felt humiliated. to lose bowel control like that.

If I had been even a couple years older, I would have just gone around a bush, taken off my T shirt and cleaned myself up, abandoning the T shirt, and gone about the day.

Instead, I tried to pretend it hadn't happened.  That was stupid, but when you are young, you do stupid things.    I told my brother it was time to leave.  I walked 1/2 mile along the railroad track feeling it, sat in the car on it, and drove hove.  Of course I immediately showered when we got home and and I washed my clothes thoroughly.

So that's the most embarrassing thing.  If anyone has something to beat THAT, I'd like to hear about it.  I could sure use something to smile at and not judge beyond that!

Peeing and pooping yourself, when not on the toilet, is a common experience for old people.  My main problem as a child was constipation.
𐎍𐎜𐎜𐎟𐎌𐎀𐎍𐎎𐎀𐎀𐎚𐎀𐎟𐎍𐎜𐎜𐎟𐎁𐎀𐎍𐎉𐎀𐎀𐎚𐎀
luu shalmaata luu balt’aata
May you be well, may you be healthy

Online aitm

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #20 on: March 31, 2018, 08:56:15 AM »
I shared a house with a buddy of mine many a year ago. He was a small time contractor and I, a small time masonry contractor. One Saturday I decided to give the oak floors a good cleaning. We had a large wall mounted fold down drafting table on one side of the room. We also had about 5-5gallon buckets of paint under the table. I put all the buckets on the table and begin to clean the floors. As they are wood I used a damp cloth and immediately wiped off after with a towel. I worked under the table and for some reason grabbed both legs of the table to clean under them.

When I came too, there was about 10 gallons of paint all over the floor and a very large knot on my head.
A humans desire to live is exceeded only by their willingness to die for another. Even god cannot equal this magnificent sacrifice. No god has the right to judge them.-first tenant of the Panotheust

Offline Cavebear

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #21 on: April 07, 2018, 08:59:54 PM »
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I shared a house with a buddy of mine many a year ago. He was a small time contractor and I, a small time masonry contractor. One Saturday I decided to give the oak floors a good cleaning. We had a large wall mounted fold down drafting table on one side of the room. We also had about 5-5gallon buckets of paint under the table. I put all the buckets on the table and begin to clean the floors. As they are wood I used a damp cloth and immediately wiped off after with a towel. I worked under the table and for some reason grabbed both legs of the table to clean under them.

When I came too, there was about 10 gallons of paint all over the floor and a very large knot on my head.

Oh man, I hope the painted floor looked good afterwards, LOL!
Atheist born, atheist bred.  And when I die, atheist dead!

Offline Cavebear

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #22 on: April 10, 2018, 04:42:57 AM »
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Yeah, I'd rather die than embarrass myself by falling to my death!

That's good.  Both involving dying. 
Atheist born, atheist bred.  And when I die, atheist dead!

Offline Baruch

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #23 on: April 10, 2018, 06:29:00 AM »
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That's good.  Both involving dying.

One hasn't lived until one is publicly humiliated and survived.  Part of the mystery of the Cross, is humiliation (as crucifixion was seen by contemporaries).
𐎍𐎜𐎜𐎟𐎌𐎀𐎍𐎎𐎀𐎀𐎚𐎀𐎟𐎍𐎜𐎜𐎟𐎁𐎀𐎍𐎉𐎀𐎀𐎚𐎀
luu shalmaata luu balt’aata
May you be well, may you be healthy

Offline Baruch

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #24 on: April 22, 2018, 02:11:36 AM »
Current embarrassment ... I get all my news from the fake fake media (that makes it the true media) ...

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The Onion has to work so hard these days to get one step ahead of reality ... but I think they are up for the job.
𐎍𐎜𐎜𐎟𐎌𐎀𐎍𐎎𐎀𐎀𐎚𐎀𐎟𐎍𐎜𐎜𐎟𐎁𐎀𐎍𐎉𐎀𐎀𐎚𐎀
luu shalmaata luu balt’aata
May you be well, may you be healthy

Online Hijiri Byakuren

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Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #25 on: April 22, 2018, 09:49:54 PM »
When I was 2 or 3 years old, I learned it was possible to pee outside. I did so at every opportunity. Including the preschool playground.
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Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #26 on: April 22, 2018, 10:12:33 PM »
Well if you give me 15+ drinks and a half gram of cocaine I become a raging homosexual. Usually try to never come into contact with people who've seen me like this again - other than close friends, of course.

Offline Baruch

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #27 on: April 22, 2018, 10:52:38 PM »
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When I was 2 or 3 years old, I learned it was possible to pee outside. I did so at every opportunity. Including the preschool playground.

If you were precocious ... then you could spell out your name in the snow.
𐎍𐎜𐎜𐎟𐎌𐎀𐎍𐎎𐎀𐎀𐎚𐎀𐎟𐎍𐎜𐎜𐎟𐎁𐎀𐎍𐎉𐎀𐎀𐎚𐎀
luu shalmaata luu balt’aata
May you be well, may you be healthy

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #28 on: April 22, 2018, 11:14:21 PM »
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Well if you give me 15+ drinks and a half gram of cocaine I become a raging homosexual. Usually try to never come into contact with people who've seen me like this again - other than close friends, of course.

I had a coworker who confided in me her husband would get shitfaced, take out his glass eye and dance around in her dresses.
“You are the sky. Everything else – it’s just the weather.”

― Pema Chödrön

Offline SGOS

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #29 on: April 23, 2018, 07:30:12 AM »
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I had a coworker who confided in me her husband would get shitfaced, take out his glass eye and dance around in her dresses.
Good Grief!

 

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