Author Topic: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?  (Read 1486 times)

So I read this article and it’s hilarious: The fart that (almost) altered my destiny. You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login

o I was wondering if anyone else had any funny/embarrassing stories they would be willing to share?
You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login is now in beta.

We have 1v1 and 2v2 debates 2-6 round debates others vote on and will have up to 16-man tourneys working soon.

Online Hydra009

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2018, 10:44:01 PM »
I went to a chinese restaurant and had the runs in their bathroom.

Problem is, the smell of it was horrendous enough to cause me to vomit.  I couldn't vomit without crapping and I couldn't crap without vomiting.  It was quite a dilemma.  So I alternated between hugging the porcelain throne and sitting on it, with each option doing increasingly unspeakable things to the floor.  I was pretty much a human fountain for a solid couple minutes.

Fortunately, I had some spare pants in the car for just such an occasion which my friend fetched for me.  Cleanup took a while, though.  The ill-fated pants were promptly thrown in the dumpster and I took a very hot and very long shower asap.

Offline Baruch

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2018, 10:53:54 PM »
Another food disaster.  I was eating an Arby's roast beef sandwich with Horsey sauce (creamy horseradish) ... and I sneezed when a chunk of sandwich was in my mouth.  The suction pulled part of the half eaten sandwich up the back side of my palette (back side of nose) ... and plugged it.  And the Horsey sauce started burning (it was otherwise mild, just not in a place where it belonged).  Anyway, I headed to the men's room, and worked on using suction on the back of my pallete by making a sucky face, until it came out and down my throat where it was supposed to go in the first place.  Eventually mucus flushed out the inflammation of the Horsey sauce on my mucous membranes at the back of my nose.

Never ever take a bite of anything, if you think your next act is a sneeze.  Just stop right there and don't snarf your food!  Can't eat/drink and sneeze at the same time.
שלום

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #3 on: March 24, 2018, 12:59:04 AM »
You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login

haha
You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login is now in beta.

We have 1v1 and 2v2 debates 2-6 round debates others vote on and will have up to 16-man tourneys working soon.

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #4 on: March 24, 2018, 01:00:31 AM »
You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login
Nope, had one fer sure, but I am still embarrassed...  It will take at least 10 of you swear "pinky fingers" never to repeat it anywhere.

Let the count begin...  And I'm probably going to regret this...

I make no promises... haha
You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login is now in beta.

We have 1v1 and 2v2 debates 2-6 round debates others vote on and will have up to 16-man tourneys working soon.

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #5 on: March 24, 2018, 02:13:23 PM »
Many years ago, in San Francisco, I tried to climb a cliff just for the fun of it.

There's a little beach somewhere between Golden Gate Park and Baker beach, that you have to go down a cliff trail to get to. I used to go there often, but this time I decided, foolishly, not to go up the trail when I left, but to go straight up the cliff. It looked pretty easy - it was about 80 or so feet high - and I was doing well until I got close to the top, where the soil just kept crumbling every time I tried to get a hand hold, so I couldn't seem to go any higher to finish the climb.

I was trying to decide whether I should try to go back down the way I'd come - I didn't want to do that, since climbing up I could see where to put my hands and feet, but going down I wasn't so sure about that - or to call out for help. I was still about 5 or 6 feet from the top, just hugging the cliff, and there was an oriental couple walking by above me on a walkway, and the look on their faces was priceless! But they just kept going, and I didn't say anything to them. Then a guy came along and asked if I need help, and I said "I surely do!"

Just by coincidence there was a stick I could reach, that was maybe an inch is so thick, that seemed strong enough, and long enough, and he was a big beefy guy who looked like he could pull me up, so I held it up to him and he pulled me the rest of the way to the top. I was so embarrassed that I didn't even get his name or anything, I just left. I did thank him profusely, though, since he may well have saved my life. If I'd tried to back down the cliff I very well could've fallen to my death, or worse, I could've been maimed for life.

You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login
"No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up."
Lily Tomlin

Offline Mermaid

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #6 on: March 24, 2018, 03:23:22 PM »
I met up with a contractor at a work meeting. He went in to kiss my cheek, Euro-style. I moved my head the wrong way for some reason and we ended up kissing on the lips.
We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail or to watch - we are going back from whence we came.

John F. Kennedy

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #7 on: March 24, 2018, 05:26:32 PM »
You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login
I met up with a contractor at a work meeting. He went in to kiss my cheek, Euro-style. I moved my head the wrong way for some reason and we ended up kissing on the lips.

Reminds me of the whole Katy Perry thing.

You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login
You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login is now in beta.

We have 1v1 and 2v2 debates 2-6 round debates others vote on and will have up to 16-man tourneys working soon.

Offline Cavebear

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #8 on: March 26, 2018, 12:17:10 AM »
You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login
Many years ago, in San Francisco, I tried to climb a cliff just for the fun of it.

There's a little beach somewhere between Golden Gate Park and Baker beach, that you have to go down a cliff trail to get to. I used to go there often, but this time I decided, foolishly, not to go up the trail when I left, but to go straight up the cliff. It looked pretty easy - it was about 80 or so feet high - and I was doing well until I got close to the top, where the soil just kept crumbling every time I tried to get a hand hold, so I couldn't seem to go any higher to finish the climb.

I was trying to decide whether I should try to go back down the way I'd come - I didn't want to do that, since climbing up I could see where to put my hands and feet, but going down I wasn't so sure about that - or to call out for help. I was still about 5 or 6 feet from the top, just hugging the cliff, and there was an oriental couple walking by above me on a walkway, and the look on their faces was priceless! But they just kept going, and I didn't say anything to them. Then a guy came along and asked if I need help, and I said "I surely do!"

Just by coincidence there was a stick I could reach, that was maybe an inch is so thick, that seemed strong enough, and long enough, and he was a big beefy guy who looked like he could pull me up, so I held it up to him and he pulled me the rest of the way to the top. I was so embarrassed that I didn't even get his name or anything, I just left. I did thank him profusely, though, since he may well have saved my life. If I'd tried to back down the cliff I very well could've fallen to my death, or worse, I could've been maimed for life.

That wasn't embarrassing, that was rational.  Falling to your death would have been embarrassing.
« Last Edit: March 26, 2018, 12:21:51 AM by Cavebear »
Atheist born, atheist bred.  And when I die, atheist dead!

Offline Cavebear

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #9 on: March 26, 2018, 12:24:00 AM »
You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login
I met up with a contractor at a work meeting. He went in to kiss my cheek, Euro-style. I moved my head the wrong way for some reason and we ended up kissing on the lips.

I once kissed my mother right on the lips.  We just moved wrong.  But neither of us made a big deal of it.  Awkward things happen.

Atheist born, atheist bred.  And when I die, atheist dead!

Offline Cavebear

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #10 on: March 26, 2018, 12:28:13 AM »
I can't describe the event.  You'll have to catch me when I've been drinking...  And that isn't tonight, LOL!
Atheist born, atheist bred.  And when I die, atheist dead!

Offline pr126

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #11 on: March 26, 2018, 12:30:20 AM »
Cavebear wrote:
Quote
That wasn't embarrassing, that was rational.  Falling to your death would have been embarrassing.
Wrong. Dead people seldom get embarrassed.
"It doesn't matter what is true. It only matters what people believe is true."

Offline Cavebear

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #12 on: March 26, 2018, 01:12:49 AM »
You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login
Cavebear wrote:Wrong. Dead people seldom get embarrassed.

That is actually one of the smartest things you have ever said!  I agree completely.  And I mean no insult at all.
Atheist born, atheist bred.  And when I die, atheist dead!

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #13 on: March 26, 2018, 01:26:29 PM »
You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login
That wasn't embarrassing, that was rational.  Falling to your death would have been embarrassing.
Yeah, I'd rather die than embarrass myself by falling to my death!
You are not allowed to view links. Register or Login
"No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up."
Lily Tomlin

Online Hydra009

Re: Do you have any funny/embarrassing moments you’re willing to share?
« Reply #14 on: March 26, 2018, 03:18:59 PM »
The internet has ruined me.

First off, I've gotta say that I have a pretty dark and twisted sense of humor.  Heavily black and blue.

So I'm around family, browsing reddit and I see that joke about Guy Ferrari.  The one where he slathers BBQ sauce on a bullet, loads it into a revolver, and mutters to himself, "One last trip to Flavortown"

Maybe I was just easily amused that day, but I bust up laughing.  My mom turns around and asks me what I'm laughing at.

OH SHIT.  Gotta lie fast!  I make up some bullshit about a cat licking a deer's face.  She says "that's not very funny".  No shit.

And the thing is, she's the kind of person who gets deeply offended by jokes, so I have to be extra careful around her.  Essentially, Mrs Broflovski  in the flesh.  Makes for some very awkward situations.

 

SMF spam blocked by CleanTalk