17 Ridiculous Office Rules That Companies Actually Enforce

[SilentFutility]

Because corporations have only one obligation: The bottom line. They will lie, cheat, steal, and manipulate to achieve this end, broader society be damned. Corporations are inherently psychopathic.

Individual people are by and large, primarily concerned with furthering their own interests. That doesn't mean they're inherently bad or that interacting with them is bad.
This is a complete generalisation based on nothing, unless there is something to back this up?

It's a general rule of human psychology. You can only really care about so many people. Once you have more than 200 people under you, they become little more than a number that can be squeezed so that money comes out. Once you have more than 200 people above you, the company is little more than a giant machine that deposits money on your bank account at the end of the month.

If it isn't properly run, sure.

It's really hard to fix that, and only a rare few companies in a rare few industries can really fix it. In most companies, they don't even try.

How do you know?

In addition, most companies just have a basic job that needs to be done, and the only reason they're letting a person do it, is because they can't buy a robot to do it instead yet. You get all the appreciation of the machine that they can't replace you with though, because they know that if they dump you, they can get someone else.

Is that not true of small businesses with menial tasks to be done as well? Again, that's where it comes down to the business ethics of that individual business. If you don't have anything to separate you from your peers then you're replacable in every industry, in every size of company.

Properly run large companies benefit from having dedicated departments to perform different functions, thus cutting down on time-wasting on useless tasks.

There is nothing concrete in this post, other than baseless accusations against "they" and "them". There are literally countless large companies in the world, and presuming to know how they're all run is well, presumptuous.

This is purely ancedotal, but I've only worked for three companies, two large that most people here would have heard of, and one small and family-run. Guess which one was absolutely horrific to work for?

At my current job (absolutely huge company), I get the equivalent of 9 weeks off per year, work standard hours, take my own breaks, have access to an on-site doctor, subsidised food, gym, activities, would get relocation assistance if I moved with them, HR handle every issue efficiently, etc. This company is not an atypical large company either. The only thing atypical is my holiday, which is only so because this country is heavily unionised and I'm in the lowest paygrade as an intern, but in a higher paygrade I'd still get 6 weeks.

[Mermaid]

I have worked for a medium company and now I work for a behemoth company. The contrast has been startling to say the least.

The larger the company, the more impersonal the Corporate Machine is. That's what it pretty much boils down to. The culture is pretty awful.

You obviously have not had the same experience, SF, but I can say assuredly that I am not alone in my perspective.

[Mermaid]

I guess I should add that the size of the company does not, obviously, always dictate the shiteousness of the culture. But there has to be a correlation.

[_Xenu_]

Just for Mermaid, just this one time. Formatting is lousy, but its readable.

17 Ridiculous Office Rules That Companies Actually Enforce
Mariana Simoes and Max Nisen   May 5, 2013, 11:03 AM 520,708 38

    inShare308

Receptionist, Girl, Working, On the phone

statigr.am/elisaphlp
Recently a 16-year-old was arrested for a science experiment that went wrong.  

The incident sparked a question raised on Reddit asking users to give examples of harsh or absurd rules from work and school, and thousands of responses poured in.

We've picked out our favorite ridiculous rules from the thread, including stringent beard regulations and one office policy requiring workers to wear safety goggles when using a stapler.  

No outside sodas.
No outside sodas.

Screengrab from shelfxusa on YouTube

"I can't bring in soda to share with other employees because there is a vending machine."

Source: Reddit
No water bottles.
No water bottles.

Flickr via shazbot

"My place of employment only lets staff drink water from small cups, and you must drink the whole cup immediately, then dispose of the cup. You are not allowed to have water bottles on shift, no matter which part of the store you are working in. If you are on break (unpaid time) you cannot purchase a bottle of water, even if you drink all of it and dispose of the bottle before you come back on shift."

Source: Reddit
Every email must have an explicit purpose.
Every email must have an explicit purpose.

Flickr/Tobias Soft

"We are incapable of sending emails from our work accounts without selecting what the email is for. To send it, we have to select from a drop-down menu things like 'casual memo' or 'request for time off...It's relatively new, so I think they're going to revert it, because everyone, especially lower management is going nuts over how absurd it is."

Source: Reddit
No moving furniture.
No moving furniture.

NBC/"Dateline"

"Want to slide a desk across the room? Can't. That is violating union rules...You have to call and schedule the movers."

Source: Reddit
No turning things off.
No turning things off.

Tawalker/Flickr

"At my work there are signs on the printers that say the warranty will be void if the printer is turned off."

Source: Reddit
No undocumented absences.
No undocumented absences.

statigr.am/elisaphlp

"I need to tell the receptionist where I'm going when I leave the office and inform her of my return as I walk past her. I'm an attorney for Christ's sake; I had more autonomy in undergrad."

Source: Reddit
No illegal beards types.
No illegal beards types.

Flickr/manthatcooks

"I used to work for a ritzy cafe that had five separate and distinct beard rules. Beards had to be between a certain length or you had to shave it. No mutton chops. There were rules about mustache/beard combos. If you wanted to grow a beard, you were not allowed back into work for two weeks until you grew it out to a 'respectable length.'"

Source: Reddit
No facial hair at all.
No facial hair at all.

Avedacorp via Flickr

"At my former job we weren't allowed to 'grow' facial hair. So we were allowed to either have no facial hair at all, or have a FULLY grown moustache. Our manager told us if we wanted to have a moustache, we would have to go on vacation, grow a stash, and come back from our vacation with a fully grown moustache. So on the next day we all showed up wearing fake mustaches."

Source: Reddit
No unauthorized food.
No unauthorized food.

Business Insider/Aly Weisman

"My office was near a large meeting room, and one day I passed by an unguarded cart. Half an hour later, I passed by it in the other direction. An hour later, I saw it was still there, untouched. So I went an snatched a cookie. This tiny little woman made me spit out the half of a cookie I already had in my mouth into a napkin in her hand like a I was a 4-year-old spitting out a bug or something."

Source: Reddit
Absolutely no tardiness.
Absolutely no tardiness.

Library of Congress

"I used to work at Elephant Auto Insurance, and they are ridiculous about their timestamps. ... You are allowed one fifteen minute break at 10:30. You are allowed your lunch at 1:00, and you are allowed one more fifteen minute break at 3:30. If you are ONE MINUTE late coming back from any of those three things, you are immediately written up."

Source: Reddit
No carrying boxes.
No carrying boxes.

"When working as a messenger at a law firm we had to use a dolly for everything. Moving a single box without a dolly was breaking the rules. Well, since I am not a tiny girl. ... I would carry several boxes of paper around with me when resupplying the copy and fax machines. They eventually fired me over it."

Source: Reddit
No hats.
No hats.

Jake Nickell

"I work in a warehouse. No hats. It's cold here in the winter and the poor bald guys can't wear hats."

Source: Reddit
No popcorn.
No popcorn.

Alex Davies / Business Insider

"Where I started working about two months ago, there's a serious, strict 'no popcorn' rule. This applies to popcorn that's cooked elsewhere and brought in (such as movie theatre) and popcorn cooked in the microwave. There was a strongly worded email from the big boss that circulated two years ago outlawing popcorn. I was informed in my first two weeks when said email was forwarded to me by a colleague. The reason given in the email was 'has anyone ever tried to talk on the phone and eat popcorn?'"

Source: Reddit
Nothing that even looks like a cell phone.
Nothing that even looks like a cell phone.

Flickr/markjsebastian

"No cell phone shaped objects in your pockets at work. At first I thought it was a typo, then they started to write people up for wallets, packs of gum, and other rectangular shapes in our pockets."

Source: Reddit
No more than one personal item.
No more than one personal item.

flickr/alancleaver

"I used to work in a government department, and people used to keep snacks on their desk while working, because we're human. The employer implemented 'lean working' so every desk had to be totally empty, except for select items that had to be arranged in a certain way (pens had to be to the upper left of the keyboard, I think). This rule forbid food items, but allowed one 'personal item.' One staff member had a banana in a banana case as her personal item. She was told to put it away."

Source: Reddit
No casual religious references.
No casual religious references.

William Brawley via Flickr

"Someone at work sneezed and another one said 'bless you!' A third party heard it and complained to HR about it. Guy who said 'bless you' was given a warning and had to take a course in professionalism."

Source: Reddit
No smoking in your own car.
No smoking in your own car.

Lourdes Gasol via Flickr

"No smoking in your own personal vehicle while traveling between locations."

Source: Reddit

[_Xenu_]

Because corporations have only one obligation: The bottom line. They will lie, cheat, steal, and manipulate to achieve this end, broader society be damned. Corporations are inherently psychopathic.

Individual people are by and large, primarily concerned with furthering their own interests. That doesn't mean they're inherently bad or that interacting with them is bad.
This is a complete generalisation based on nothing, unless there is something to back this up?

Individuals don't exist solely for the point of making money. We live, love, have family, hobbies, etc. Corporations have none of these things, they only exist to make money through whatever means possible. I never claimed this to be anything but a generalization, but find one for profit corporation on Earth that doesn't live up to my description.

[Mermaid]

Thanks Xenu!  8-)

[Atheon]

Punching a time clock upon entering and leaving the office is a ridiculous rule I have to endure. I don't work by the hour. I work by the case (translation and/or editing work). As long as the assigned tasks are completed that day and sent to the client, everything is fine. I can come in at 3:00 pm if I want, as long as the tasks are done by the time the office closes.

[Hydra009]

One thing I currently have to deal with:  all employees' shoes must be a single color.  Completely.  They are downright scary about how strictly and pervasively they enforce it.  If you wear the wrong shoes, you will be told to go back home and change.  #ActualFirstWorldProblem

[Shiranu]

One thing I currently have to deal with:  all employees' shoes must be a single color.  Completely.  They are downright scary about how strictly and pervasively they enforce it.  If you wear the wrong shoes, you will be told to go back home and change.  #ActualFirstWorldProblem

Rubbish. I always wear one black and white and one lime and white shoe.

[Hydra009]

This will get you sent home --->  

This is just fine --->  

My reaction:

[spoil:39spkkfh][/spoil:39spkkfh]

[SilentFutility]

Because corporations have only one obligation: The bottom line. They will lie, cheat, steal, and manipulate to achieve this end, broader society be damned. Corporations are inherently psychopathic.

Individual people are by and large, primarily concerned with furthering their own interests. That doesn't mean they're inherently bad or that interacting with them is bad.
This is a complete generalisation based on nothing, unless there is something to back this up?

Individuals don't exist solely for the point of making money. We live, love, have family, hobbies, etc. Corporations have none of these things, they only exist to make money through whatever means possible. I never claimed this to be anything but a generalization, but find one for profit corporation on Earth that doesn't live up to my description.

Most of the large companies that you haven't heard loads of rumours about being assholes, seriously.

Secondly, this may be much more prevalent in the US, most large companies here are great.

I am currently working for Ford of Europe, that is one example, although it is by no means unique. Most other automotive manufacturers are similar. IBM, one of the largest and most famous companies in the world. Siemens, Bosch, etc. etc. In fact, you'd be harder pressed to name a company of this magnitude that treated its employees like shit, as they are vulnerable to bad press, and companies of this size need to keep their workforce happy and motivated.

At least in large companies there is more regulation, and usually a more clear company policy, so it isn't as easy to get royally fucked over. In small businesses there is less legislation protecting the employees in most developed nations, and your working life is generally far less regulated so you are pretty much at the whims of your employer. In my last job, I worked for a small, family run company. I often worked 7 days a week whilst being paid for 5, by the time I left, they still hadn't gotten around to giving me my job contract, so I didn't have to give notice, I still did because I'm considerate, their organisation was generally shit, obviously there was no HR department so any issues with your work you just tell your boss who has 999999 other priorities so it never gets sorted out, etc. This doesn't mean that small companies are inherently bad either, but your potential for being bent over a table by them and basically being made their bitch is far greater.

[_Xenu_]

@SF

You do have the benefit in living in a much more socialized economy. Here in the US, capitalism is less restrained and corporations are more free to behave as they like. At least in the US, if you don't know about a corporation abusing people, you probably aren't connected to the industry.

Now, you do have a point about smaller businesses having a bit more freedom from regulations, but that comes with its own trade offs. For one, they tend to be significantly less bureaucratic. Its likely that you will see the owner in person from time to time and take your concerns directly to him/her. This gives you a name and face and keeps you from becoming a nameless, replaceable peon. It also means you have a better shot at being hired if you have ability but not a degree, while you wouldn't get anywhere at a larger company. And if you prove yourself valuable and help the company grow, you may even move up to higher echelons. If anything, I tend to be more trusting of smaller companies, simply because they don't have the lobbying muscle or legal department to get away with bullying people. Lawsuits can keep them much more honest.

Henry Ford was an anomaly, a rare socialist and businessman. He hardly represents the norm. Companies like IBM, Apple, Samsung, anyone in the IT hardware business really, are notorious for exploiting third world labor. Working under Steve Jobs was hell on earth as virtually anyone who ever did can tell you. Microsoft is a notoriously insecure place to work, because they use a points system and constantly get rid of people who don't game it properly. I'm not familiar with the other companies you list, since Im not in their industries.

But my larger point remains: Corporations are like psychopaths because they only exist to make money, while ordinary people have other interests in life that tend to blunt these tendencies. I consider the former inherently evil and in need of regulation. In Britain and much of Europe, that regulation largely exists. Here in the US, it doesn't.

[Smartmarzipan]

My husband is not allowed to roll up his sleeves on his button-up shirt for whatever reason, even though he works in a office where no one sees him. He must always wear a tie, too (except on Friday when he can wear a polo shirt, but it must be tucked in with belt). And no fake plants in his office, they have to be real. Fake plants are tacky.