Masturbation Linked to Sexual Orientation

Started by SGOS, December 15, 2017, 04:11:06 PM

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Baruch

Quote from: SGOS on December 16, 2017, 11:46:20 PM
Why not an Olympic event?  Since I started watching the Olympics, they have expanded the menu of events exponentially.  If someone gets an idea for a crazy stunt, they make an event out of it.  Something stands a better chance of becoming an actual event if it involves spending an inordinate amount of time upside down.  Some of the events can't even be empirically scored.  They have to have judges subjectively rate the performances, where the Russian judge gives the Russian a 10, and all the others give him a 4.5.  It shouldn't even be called competition.  They could make a Jack Ass Movie out of some of the events, and just pay people do anything they can think of providing it might be dangerous enough to potentially break their necks.

Masturbation would make an actual competitive event like competition used to be, because it could be empirically measured, rather than depend on biased judges.  They could have competitive sub divisions like the Clean and Jerk based on speed, or competition based on distance like the Shot Put, or competition based on height like the Pole Vault.

That is actually a very Greek idea ;-)
Ha’át’íísh baa naniná?
Azee’ Å,a’ish nanídį́į́h?
Táadoo ánít’iní.
What are you doing?
Are you taking any medications?
Don't do that.

SGOS

I'm sure there are plenty of heterosexuals that would want a piece of the action.  Gays may have an advantage in team competition, but I'd expect a good showing from heterosexuals in Mixed Doubles.

Hydra009

Quote from: SGOS on December 17, 2017, 10:44:38 AM
I'm sure there are plenty of heterosexuals that would want a piece of the action.  Gays may have an advantage in team competition, but I'd expect a good showing from heterosexuals in Mixed Doubles.
Bigger pool of applicants = more top tier applicants.  Heterosexuals would clean up (figuratively speaking.  I pity the janitor)

And what do you mean by "mixed doubles"?  Because I got the impression you meant...*long pause*...nvm.

SGOS

Quote from: Hydra009 on December 17, 2017, 01:19:29 PM
And what do you mean by "mixed doubles"?  Because I got the impression you meant...*long pause*...nvm.
That was a reference to tennis, where a teams are composed of men and women.  Now I don't actually follow tennis, and "mixed doubles" might be some image I conjured up in my head.  I just heard the term and concluded that's what it meant.  OK, now I'm going to have to google it.

SGOS

#19
Yeah, it's what I thought.  Now apply that to a sub division of Competitive Masturbation which would be based on mutual masturbation.  Oh Hell, it's not as funny as I thought it was when I try to explained it.

Cavebear

Ah for the good old days...  The mind is still willing, but the flesh is weak.
Atheist born, atheist bred.  And when I die, atheist dead!

Feral Atheist

There are two kinds of people.  Those that masturbate, and those the lie about not masturbating.
In dog beers I've only had one.

Unbeliever

Quote from: SGOS on December 15, 2017, 06:41:14 PM
Actually, it's universal among people that breath.
I think masturbation is the only truly safe sex...
God Not Found
"There is a sucker born-again every minute." - C. Spellman

Unbeliever

Quote from: Blackleaf on December 16, 2017, 02:40:32 AM
And homosexuality has been observed in non-human animals as well. Coincidence?! I think not!
Ah, but do those species masturbate? Only their hair-dresser knows for sure...
God Not Found
"There is a sucker born-again every minute." - C. Spellman

Unbeliever

God Not Found
"There is a sucker born-again every minute." - C. Spellman

Baruch

Quote from: Unbeliever on December 22, 2017, 05:13:10 PM
I think masturbation is the only truly safe sex...

Provided you aren't built like Alley Oop or Popeye on spinach ... otherwise you will self emasculate ;-(
Ha’át’íísh baa naniná?
Azee’ Å,a’ish nanídį́į́h?
Táadoo ánít’iní.
What are you doing?
Are you taking any medications?
Don't do that.

Unbeliever

God Not Found
"There is a sucker born-again every minute." - C. Spellman

Baruch

Ha’át’íísh baa naniná?
Azee’ Å,a’ish nanídį́į́h?
Táadoo ánít’iní.
What are you doing?
Are you taking any medications?
Don't do that.

Munch

Quote from: Baruch on December 22, 2017, 06:17:50 PM
Provided you aren't built like Alley Oop or Popeye on spinach ... otherwise you will self emasculate ;-(

or edward scissorhands. or the human torch. or 90s aquaman and his hook hand.
'Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners' - George Carlin

Baruch

Quote from: Munch on December 22, 2017, 06:23:47 PM
or edward scissorhands. or the human torch. or 90s aquaman and his hook hand.

Edward Scissorhands never ran, his mother warned him about that ;-)
Ha’át’íísh baa naniná?
Azee’ Å,a’ish nanídį́į́h?
Táadoo ánít’iní.
What are you doing?
Are you taking any medications?
Don't do that.