Author Topic: Masturbation Linked to Sexual Orientation  (Read 2056 times)

Offline Baruch

Re: Masturbation Linked to Sexual Orientation
« Reply #15 on: December 17, 2017, 09:01:23 AM »
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Why not an Olympic event?  Since I started watching the Olympics, they have expanded the menu of events exponentially.  If someone gets an idea for a crazy stunt, they make an event out of it.  Something stands a better chance of becoming an actual event if it involves spending an inordinate amount of time upside down.  Some of the events can't even be empirically scored.  They have to have judges subjectively rate the performances, where the Russian judge gives the Russian a 10, and all the others give him a 4.5.  It shouldn't even be called competition.  They could make a Jack Ass Movie out of some of the events, and just pay people do anything they can think of providing it might be dangerous enough to potentially break their necks.

Masturbation would make an actual competitive event like competition used to be, because it could be empirically measured, rather than depend on biased judges.  They could have competitive sub divisions like the Clean and Jerk based on speed, or competition based on distance like the Shot Put, or competition based on height like the Pole Vault.

That is actually a very Greek idea ;-)
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Offline SGOS

Re: Masturbation Linked to Sexual Orientation
« Reply #16 on: December 17, 2017, 10:44:38 AM »
I'm sure there are plenty of heterosexuals that would want a piece of the action.  Gays may have an advantage in team competition, but I'd expect a good showing from heterosexuals in Mixed Doubles.

Online Hydra009

Re: Masturbation Linked to Sexual Orientation
« Reply #17 on: December 17, 2017, 01:19:29 PM »
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I'm sure there are plenty of heterosexuals that would want a piece of the action.  Gays may have an advantage in team competition, but I'd expect a good showing from heterosexuals in Mixed Doubles.
Bigger pool of applicants = more top tier applicants.  Heterosexuals would clean up (figuratively speaking.  I pity the janitor)

And what do you mean by "mixed doubles"?  Because I got the impression you meant...*long pause*...nvm.

Offline SGOS

Re: Masturbation Linked to Sexual Orientation
« Reply #18 on: December 17, 2017, 01:51:36 PM »
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And what do you mean by "mixed doubles"?  Because I got the impression you meant...*long pause*...nvm.
That was a reference to tennis, where a teams are composed of men and women.  Now I don't actually follow tennis, and "mixed doubles" might be some image I conjured up in my head.  I just heard the term and concluded that's what it meant.  OK, now I'm going to have to google it.

Offline SGOS

Re: Masturbation Linked to Sexual Orientation
« Reply #19 on: December 17, 2017, 02:00:24 PM »
Yeah, it's what I thought.  Now apply that to a sub division of Competitive Masturbation which would be based on mutual masturbation.  Oh Hell, it's not as funny as I thought it was when I try to explained it.
« Last Edit: December 17, 2017, 02:02:06 PM by SGOS »

Offline Cavebear

Re: Masturbation Linked to Sexual Orientation
« Reply #20 on: December 18, 2017, 02:12:23 AM »
Ah for the good old days...  The mind is still willing, but the flesh is weak.
Atheist born, atheist bred.  And when I die, atheist dead!

Re: Masturbation Linked to Sexual Orientation
« Reply #21 on: December 19, 2017, 06:21:26 PM »
There are two kinds of people.  Those that masturbate, and those the lie about not masturbating.
In dog beers I've only had one.

Re: Masturbation Linked to Sexual Orientation
« Reply #22 on: December 22, 2017, 05:13:10 PM »
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Actually, it's universal among people that breath.
I think masturbation is the only truly safe sex...
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"Over the course of my career as an undercover officer in the C.I.A, I saw Russian intelligence manipulate many people. I never thought I would see the day when an American president would be one of them."
Will Hurd

Re: Masturbation Linked to Sexual Orientation
« Reply #23 on: December 22, 2017, 05:14:59 PM »
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And homosexuality has been observed in non-human animals as well. Coincidence?! I think not!
Ah, but do those species masturbate? Only their hair-dresser knows for sure...
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"Over the course of my career as an undercover officer in the C.I.A, I saw Russian intelligence manipulate many people. I never thought I would see the day when an American president would be one of them."
Will Hurd

Re: Masturbation Linked to Sexual Orientation
« Reply #24 on: December 22, 2017, 05:18:33 PM »
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"Over the course of my career as an undercover officer in the C.I.A, I saw Russian intelligence manipulate many people. I never thought I would see the day when an American president would be one of them."
Will Hurd

Offline Baruch

Re: Masturbation Linked to Sexual Orientation
« Reply #25 on: December 22, 2017, 06:17:50 PM »
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I think masturbation is the only truly safe sex...

Provided you aren't built like Alley Oop or Popeye on spinach ... otherwise you will self emasculate ;-(
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Re: Masturbation Linked to Sexual Orientation
« Reply #26 on: December 22, 2017, 06:20:00 PM »
OUCH!
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"Over the course of my career as an undercover officer in the C.I.A, I saw Russian intelligence manipulate many people. I never thought I would see the day when an American president would be one of them."
Will Hurd

Offline Baruch

Re: Masturbation Linked to Sexual Orientation
« Reply #27 on: December 22, 2017, 06:22:04 PM »
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OUCH!

Glad to have you back.  The board has missed you.
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Offline Munch

Re: Masturbation Linked to Sexual Orientation
« Reply #28 on: December 22, 2017, 06:23:47 PM »
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Provided you aren't built like Alley Oop or Popeye on spinach ... otherwise you will self emasculate ;-(

or edward scissorhands. or the human torch. or 90s aquaman and his hook hand.

Offline Baruch

Re: Masturbation Linked to Sexual Orientation
« Reply #29 on: December 22, 2017, 06:26:42 PM »
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or edward scissorhands. or the human torch. or 90s aquaman and his hook hand.

Edward Scissorhands never ran, his mother warned him about that ;-)
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