Author Topic: I am Allah. Ask me everything you want to know about Islam  (Read 504 times)

Offline St Truth (OP)

I am Allah. Ask me everything you want to know about Islam
« on: October 04, 2017, 09:21:54 PM »
Hi,

My name is Allah. It's written like this in Arabic:

الله خنزير

My lowly filthy assistant, Muhammad, is the guy who wears a turban stuffed with dynamites. You've seen the cartoons?

But don't listen to him, that violent power-hungry sadistic sod. Come directly to me if you need to know about my religion Islam. I'll teach you how to be a good Muslim. If you're an atheist, please forsake your godless way and follow me, the true path of Islam.

الله خنزير  الله خنزير  الله خنزير  الله خنزير  الله خنزير

Offline Baruch

Re: I am Allah. Ask me everything you want to know about Islam
« Reply #1 on: October 04, 2017, 09:23:47 PM »
Hi,

My name is Allah. It's written like this in Arabic:

الله خنزير

My lowly filthy assistant, Muhammad, is the guy who wears a turban stuffed with dynamites. You've seen the cartoons?

But don't listen to him, that violent power-hungry sadistic sod. Come directly to me if you need to know about my religion Islam. I'll teach you how to be a good Muslim. If you're an atheist, please forsake your godless way and follow me, the true path of Islam.

الله خنزير  الله خنزير  الله خنزير  الله خنزير  الله خنزير

You should consider having your doctor reexamine your ADHD medication dosage.
שלום

Offline pr126

Re: I am Allah. Ask me everything you want to know about Islam
« Reply #2 on: October 05, 2017, 02:46:06 AM »
Allah is Muhammad’s sock puppet.
“It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value.” ― Arthur C. Clarke

Offline Munch

Re: I am Allah. Ask me everything you want to know about Islam
« Reply #3 on: October 05, 2017, 05:16:58 AM »
Hey Allah. I will convey this question in your language.

كيف كبيرة القضيب الخاص بك؟

or for english dialect.

kayf kabirat alqadib alkhasu bk?

Offline Baruch

Re: I am Allah. Ask me everything you want to know about Islam
« Reply #4 on: October 05, 2017, 06:55:15 AM »
Hey Allah. I will convey this question in your language.

كيف كبيرة القضيب الخاص بك؟

or for english dialect.

kayf kabirat alqadib alkhasu bk?

Bigger isn't better.
שלום

Offline St Truth (OP)

Re: I am Allah. Ask me everything you want to know about Islam
« Reply #5 on: October 05, 2017, 07:09:08 AM »
Bigger isn't better.

I knew you were a fagGod.

Offline Baruch

Re: I am Allah. Ask me everything you want to know about Islam
« Reply #6 on: October 05, 2017, 07:11:13 AM »
I knew you were a fagGod.

You know that isn't an insult among the posters here?  Theist is the insult ;-)
שלום

Offline St Truth (OP)

Re: I am Allah. Ask me everything you want to know about Islam
« Reply #7 on: October 05, 2017, 07:15:51 AM »
You know that isn't an insult among the posters here?  Theist is the insult ;-)

Faggot isn't insulting. FagGod is. As you are well aware, G-d is a dirty word. Just like YHWH. Ssme thing with Pig or P-g.

Offline aitm

Re: I am Allah. Ask me everything you want to know about Islam
« Reply #8 on: October 05, 2017, 08:32:01 AM »
Truth, tone down the personal insults please.
A humans desire to live is exceeded only by their willingness to die for another. Even god cannot equal this magnificent sacrifice. No god has the right to judge them.-first tenant of the Panotheust

Offline St Truth (OP)

Re: I am Allah. Ask me everything you want to know about Islam
« Reply #9 on: October 05, 2017, 11:29:29 AM »
Truth, tone down the personal insults please.

Yes, I was mistaken. It was Munch who asked me how big my penis was, not Baruch. My mistake. Sorry. That's the problem with typing on my phone. I copied the bit did a google translate and I thought, hey, this must be Baruch when it was Munch.

I don't want to conceal anything. Let's just say that I am larger than most people here. I would readily post a pic but I'm not sure about the legality of such a post, seeing that in most countries, you must be 18 to post your own nude pic.

Offline Munch

Re: I am Allah. Ask me everything you want to know about Islam
« Reply #10 on: October 05, 2017, 11:57:55 AM »
Yes, I was mistaken. It was Munch who asked me how big my penis was, not Baruch. My mistake. Sorry. That's the problem with typing on my phone. I copied the bit did a google translate and I thought, hey, this must be Baruch when it was Munch.

No I didn't, I asked how big Allah's was..unless you are Allah?

Offline Hijiri Byakuren

  • ULC Minister, Honorary Doctor of Divinity
  • *
  • Posts: 5137
  • Total likes: 1745
  • That's DOCTOR Hijiri, to you!
    • The Lore Of Samsara
Re: I am Allah. Ask me everything you want to know about Islam
« Reply #11 on: October 05, 2017, 12:00:05 PM »
Damn it, now I kinda wish @PickelledEggs hadn't banned my God account. XD

Offline St Truth (OP)

Re: I am Allah. Ask me everything you want to know about Islam
« Reply #12 on: October 05, 2017, 12:50:48 PM »
No I didn't, I asked how big Allah's was..unless you are Allah?

Of course I am Allah. Read the heading of this thread.

Offline pr126

Re: I am Allah. Ask me everything you want to know about Islam
« Reply #13 on: October 05, 2017, 01:08:43 PM »
Dear Allah, where does the dark go when you turn the lights on?
“It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value.” ― Arthur C. Clarke

Offline Baruch

Re: I am Allah. Ask me everything you want to know about Islam
« Reply #14 on: October 05, 2017, 01:10:02 PM »
Dear Allah, where does the dark go when you turn the lights on?

Actually addressed by Medieval theologians (who didn't know about the Earth in modern terms).
שלום